"Raven."
Through the darkness I heard a voice, piercing through the haze.
It sounded urgent.
Someone calling out to me.
"Raven, shift back."
Every now and then I would see snippets.
Just stilled images flashing before me, showing pictures of a living room.
Of a broken table.
Of a boy.
It felt somewhat familiar but I couldn’t place it.
"Raven! —Ah, fuck."
..And pain.
So much pain.
The voice continued to call out to me, pleading with m e to do something...but I wasn’t ready.
No, instead, I rescinded into my mind further to escape.
To try and forget what was happening.
...To pretend everything was okay.
And so, I hid from it all, blocking out the images and voices.
Waiting until, finally, things didn’t hurt so badly.
..Until I was sure the pain had stopped.
".Raven," came the voice again.
Only, this time, recognition finally kicked in.
Kieran.
It was Kieran's voice and...and I’d shifted.Changing into the wolf and...—.
Oh...no, no...Instantly, my eyes flew open...and I found myself contained within his arms, wrapped up in a blanket.
He looked down at me with a face showing signs of exhaustion, his breathing heavy.
And I immediately knew something was wrong.
I wasn’t sure how long had passed but I was back to m y normal self, implying it had been at least a few minutes.
But...there was something else too.
Something I’d come to expect from these lapses.
..I could smell the sickly scent of blood.I squirmed out of his grasp, pushing away just enough to get a good look at him...and there it was.
The source of the smell.
A large gash down the front of his chest.
Blood flowing from it...increasingly becoming worse ...pooling on the ground around us.
And, suddenly, it was as if the whole world tilted.
Everywhere I looked there was blood.
Red painted on every surface, on every piece of furniture, on every wall...curtain...and lamp.
And as I frantically looked around, I felt my breathing quicken, my heart starting to race.
...Just what had I done? This was exactly what I had been afraid of and yet I’d let it happen.
I turned back to Kieran, finding his face now so pale, and I quickly moved my hands to his chest to help stop the bleeding.
Hands that were soaked even up along my forearms already.
"I’m so sorry," I whispered.
"I-I didn't mean to do this." I'd told him that this was dangerous and a bad idea.
Why hadn’t he listened to me?
"Raven...it’s okay," he replied.
I looked at him incredulously, as if he were insane for not seeing the amount of blood he had lost.
It was a miracle he was even still able to talk.
"N-no...no it’s not okay," I stammered.
"Nothing about this is okay...You’re going to die because of me."
entire body shaking, feel the
doing, that everything would be fine, and yet everything had still gone
helped? Was I actually a monster? "Raven, what are you
"Fine’?”
‘Fine’!?" I repeated, my voice becoming
even have time t o call an ambulance.Goddammit, Kieran! Why didn’t you listen to
bleeding but he then grabbed my hands and held them away
are you doing?!" I
"Stop," he ordered.
barely even a
no, no it’s not.How can
and look,"
I...I’ve killed you...I-I
time, forcing me to
"...I said I’m fine."
looked back down at his chest, I found that the wound
already stopped bleeding a while
"W-what...? I don’t understand..."
to look at the room...and found it completely
pieces of furniture, the place seemed
No blood in sight.
I had seen it so
was no mistaking it....How could that
Kieran said, and proceeded to lift me
but it didn’t take long for me to realise what this meant.I
mattered was that he was
That he was safe.
"J-I’m sorry," I cried.
sorry.I
and gently stroked my hair, indulging my abrupt need for
his warmth was helping to
"You’re fine," he said.
do anything
I did,"
of whether
clear that I was still a failure.It didn’t matter if I was human or
I’d never overcome.Somehow, it felt like
life now; useless to my father, and useless at things that should
to add
didn’t seem
me away and held my face so I was forced
you did was your fault," he said
"I mean it."
"But I—."
he instantly cut
a breath and repeat
was not my
to protest but he gave me a look that
telling me this exercise
I finally said
he still seemed satisfied by my reply
small nod in approval, he
seen anything
witnessed.But...I don’t know.It’s giving me a weird feeling.Almost as if there’s more to
mean? Are you saying
wrong with you.But maybe more...something external
wearing any jewellery? Or have anything metallic touching you like a piercing? It’d look something like silver." I
weren’t a good idea for me given
"No."
any
increasingly more confused by the
in thought, visibly trying hard to come up with something else before, finally, he
this time, I could tell he was reluctant
"..What about medications?"
my body
had regular medicine I took for anxiety and post- shifting side effects;
By a doctor.
A professional.
were a professional...employed by
have though,
Kieran prompted when
bile in my throat, hoping Kieran
"Yes," I answered.
"Yes. I have medication."
show it
and walked to where I'd left my bag, finding
of shuffling before I eventually could locate
happening so quickly, my fingers were trembling
I finally said, presenting it to
it from me, starting
time, I silently watched as he worked, subconsciously
anything that this really would be ordinary
was rarely ever
"These...these are suppressors,"
slowly looking up
designed and used in chemical
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Fdb5sZqfVu6/31nClLrXF0vt7fRwPoS+60//EgO8vXiTQmHkd1g7GEdkltiG6d5JNncfrfhY2hc73bpvYKB+J4je8Kw9ccCKt/HWDnfnWFYSkhaBTPJ665UZLjz+HsDGyo9I7fqDPS6xFaMX9gnk0nSuyInch/iI2MkcPXTKH0PaRq+BssCB1QsTuSJpSDJXtz+HbctQ8J5lS3083/I5qvJU9hgVadXTC2kgUZKKvZ+pXEfyxJYCxh/HD9n5ZTjySgTt/rKfU7P9jyGPNXl7PJa9DaB0Jtwc65x8BYxFb/k7Ed1liCqxJf8uNs2bAPCtw95o5dlxVpG3n69ioV8Ptakkflsdn8CxJZCjPHBFGUuvhxwN2TNs0LbIcmwoabLoCJGl5vwn3kPCmmWRqYNmT8wGVjtDpTQZowZ3t+Tscwv+BN4jvdF2HwyOWxA/6IsU6nzb1AFYaO8DhPKE8CjI6jwsFv7iJkEUson6F1+OjNBcJQqmqGQA9dawFbmCF504exlJ/Wv+qGPLh0YcLQmc9+SZYJY8QhXqd2yLUdyqkDaRxDPn+KPOPhTtPddMae3ObeImtfn6VkWFaWgXkOTPe1kzOUM9fqdivpITSzF3Xk4D8NX0SWQQ5S8i/XeBzE4B6TAjcM/Trg4Cl+iPy303cI2nJ8jxxl+o0ZLzWvR05Lb8OssXI7/OdnKzeHNavwZAiEampGbhO8GxLzzJwUuqyTnDGvYod5nbuTU6l1QseYYTXF0TeBJKtQWM73xEAJDycMcYwTNLx0YwERavtFakAf9eO1E9cijSChbItdREzmbkjA1v0ehuCtrSepwqcBYMG3lKWdgoHhiJMIZsm6KOYmUXKOmE9gR+bZUFVLif/UzMEdFd7TYD7kuGz7EYfsyaht+9aTUu9FCgOzpn3p7d9SREkbdOLKPHwxWQh89DjM+BHFlKj//ENuX+SXa9XYnMxnG+ZbOTMpZdPqlvLouX6Pn06xEaN8TsMbAkdkccIwlczHchfo2mmhfQvwY+XoXSA10gChl1EBx5Sc4Mf9vu5Krfrl/A1mu5zYvu0q9HpwcLphLYnSRIniDiJ+4eOboKyCNzW8MntInZlF4rWFtJ7pWElBB1bQYkGmX38fWjMPaBnmL0ek4aKpkUG9xVM3acQFTioa9+2mWcwOskGRfsfXqCGlvGTR53OXfGDbr0fCs6wkOcfYe4gRXIXdUDUNn2B0JS+y6aedrXI7yN9ghjx0X/RJph9o+BNVlAaJinQ+GXeDvMZBlynYLrp8mVDZBdpusM5YIWn+FwHZXmZ+Tg/0kDC37bZC4jWPJc+ENDxiDOlwKvlHRPuJBrCznvL+f0nX8Q3fXUjihBS3v3uoloO9rNKPfnOsn5NEJrLAQeDpR5HZemZ9gOpOZbd1oX0WeSi/yKWkt9+hdU8HLGZInjiMD5gIHJxY6HfPLknrc0lRq//P5fApT9uc9PuvyJHG/iotjGLe4B+yTCFzx/G/HPVKjszv4dUmjkuYb0ioKScCHN294lMxZOm65KJSvWqVXFq8NH9H/0yjBzV59B3C5ZTu5q4m0OzVzRxaZrW8r0vg7CD8xV3J+mMkqb4gfbfLmMRz4AE8w+3Bmd9pXpn5x/F3cpMPBY/NXJ40Hh6Emf881rOyyyAO0i1hOz34pJIhFR2DlE9zuI9dmV2xj74CwKzQK/EEzv+40MBz4r7Yc/uoNqeD1m6t1M8O2hm1hPxEj8ugWi3my8dylUcVXHHKtZIkYq7J+nTNSOdEmWsIF1abbHC4LQHrBwhuTeA4auE450szmqvsKG5oLWuRwS4uphzhgZyEfF6fYE1Ym59WXwTmnrqCGaxaIi6Dh6kdIYQbB5Bd6ONewFIXb1Ht1IXtYKHdWSEz6lrzer2rvDyT5BMPokUwJ7M4r5AIiWGnDZ3HFuCQJJt9A4pFpVz2kOd5XHKcrk3TWGtakjnIU4cE+UNv8+r9CmH1feU/nj5scxpP/GFxkpCZMmXL9WSbh+64E9lFiX31xb2Uqub7c4HB+r6F/fkFAVYiwywOqBdkwwUU/5ESZS6Y68Qo3pPr31G6ynuHYpbF0NETiR1U5WIn9b97i77T165MThuPryzAUPtMMCn/bzggN2waNlgqrMQ8PMsgGo1tUzNWJsCcVkzT7aCdZfkrABkf6BbvtTMbdZrCU8bYQX4BBufAXWnXlsqoI6g1bErB7/TFP7cmFS4ka1+wcxIvlUET4fG87lE/pgqQbfEmc2WSZJV49kbV1qp3ZU4d9XLnYIktT09b19no9g5ib4OshdOfcxWR/6w7MAW1c1Lvm7gQoVt4BOQoYN93IJogDt7JpUyPd3XahXeBXJ74qHlmc3NtsJZsNdn+/7YwMpRbIUXUKxzGTQTVtMSYQWGGiEQHq6XYk2YHmX3eAEZugR86/ElNUW80MUT+nqVCxuw22QjYIef/LjkZAc7V1U/GwWkaX2O0emeq6A+ZiCod6IT1QQDS/mBTM1yNe+6DdCzrqL2lt6cN1X3M1zybJ/Byx9TGnhha7x4aEMo6Nh3d/Qh8a8g5fPRoWNu/jEKihlNSxD86XW7EX+bDyuLaA7xlMXKzkURN4uOdLyzsayGK7l+oMogtcNfoncSJ7ZjHoikRcHdXQgkK8hee7cAZWT8nNsfGFFwyKvChSRKxVylMfDx65vsSkjUxik3CHpO//PGRX7JgNvycck0Ogn/hrtiJ+iTu3k67la0rQYbTWQv2nh2Y6T+0hH9JC93b4aLbRehItDQ/G7TRHQryQBPbDCUBoSGW7P7cb3K6d+5AZVWiaPjKRsDCHkJa+6VgBv5HGbM40DiLpg1ie+OLpDZNXX0fbjZRlcGsykcIKuWVsIw0tEL87/jjweoOmrv+j5HtjyQ1UsxkkRutssswzNIEzjHK7C/ORkm0fGfzoP7fmIRjVGeE6j52gxAX0mEgtilquKiiExTPdKUSLgLp7cWE8cQgoTV3HBfqJ4ZWwH0zASjzgKXpp2UxneXNYU6rICAqzPthHr3MsnAwlUJKr3S6J9P1iY+fLOFfxZuhUXTY1CV14s+hn5unwacoErIspOtD417c4tnnP24uLZe5CHFaJahwdgZx5pr9N6OIipOAvEVG0hvpXEJljZk/TdTjBwwuoQ45b1ahNzSLmAU310oAIsDAVpyfBisd9o1DUNt4qLR8/UXmzsJvmqRG8iUQ47j7OwC/qhib2fmunyPyjq/+3FPezg3J8U5Gpcyv89ydESea71xMWsTiZeBPyBEQ4eBUrTwp+/sOdsMvwXMp+JL8+BCLfwD8Jt275MfT88pRkSRhTV6w4MIczvFXCvDD+ddLSlUeist1NTrwIOZrpAdEMDfeghWJvfB/dfznTLXZE0iSIu2Wo2zwl6IkAdiNAV4DUT
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