A Gift from the Goddess

Chapter Thirty-Four Despite my resolve, it still took another two months before I finally worked up the courage to begin the difficult journey of becoming Beta. The rest of Myra’s charity event had gone well that day and I didn’t see Aleric for the remainder of the fundraiser, which was perfectly fine by me. I could tell Myra was a bit worried about me though and I had to palm it off as no big deal. I didn‘t want to worry her. It was her first time seeing me so scared by anything and I could only imagine what might have been going through her mind. In the two months that had passed, I somehow had reached my fifteenth birthday. I requested that it be kept a quiet affair and so we ended up celebrating it with just my parents and Myra. There were minimal gifts, also per my request, and we all sat and had a nice dinner at my house. Really, I was just happy to be amongst all the people who genuinely cared about me. I’d spent too many birthdays in the past being almost completely alone and forgotten. And so finally, today, I stood at the door of my father’s office, peering in nervously. He was concentrating on reports in front of him and I was scared of disturbing him. From here, I could see his silver hair and violet eyes, and I thought about how similar we really did look. If it weren’t for me having mostly my mother’s face shape, I would have looked like a cut and pasted female version of him. “I can feel you staring at me from here,” he called out without even looking up from his work.

I jumped at the sound of his voice, having not expected him to know I was here. He looked up and finally met my eyes. “What can I help you with, Aria?” I stepped inside the door cautiously, clearing my throat. “I need to talk to you, Father. Do you have a moment?” I could hear the slight quaver in my voice as I spoke. I needed to get a hold of myself though. I wouldn‘t be able to convince him I was suitable for this if I didn‘t sound like I believed it myself. But it was a bit strange how nervous I was. Exploiting a foreign government for money? No issues. Asking my father to hear me out while I explained why I wanted to be a Beta? Terrifying. His opinion mattered to me and I didn‘t want his perception of me to change because of this. It didn‘t help that I was also having to constantly remind myself that this version of my father was different from the one I had been with before my death. He was almost ten years younger than the father who had cried with me inside the jail cells. At this point in our lives right now, our relationship was very formal. I remembered how scared I’d been of ever disappointing or annoying him… a feeling that didn‘t change up until he had himself arrested for defending my honour. He looked at me closely, a curiosity in his eyes. “Sure, take a seat on the couch.” I followed his instruction and he walked over to join me. Sitting like this together, casually on the settee, I honestly couldn’t tell if it made me feel

comfortable or even more nervous. Perhaps if I could have treated this as a business negotiation and sat across from him at a desk, then I wouldn’t have been so afraid. “You haven’t come to my office like this since you were little,” he mused. “Did you want some

tea?”

I shook my head, knowing I wouldn‘t be able to drink at a time like this. I couldn’t even recall the last time I had dared to disturb his work but I knew I’d procrastinated this conversation long enough. Time was running out if I wanted to be given a chance to earn my spot as Beta heir. I also knew that I would need help in training if I had any hope of improving my skill in a fight. I’d reached a plateau and hadn’t seen any real difference in my strength for over a month now. I realised the only way I was going to get better from here would be to have someone show me how to improve and, with Cai gone, it meant there really was only one person in my life that could help. My father.

I watched as he poured himself a tea and settled back into the couch. “So, what did you want to talk about?” I hesitated, unsure where to start. I’d practised what I had wanted to say in the mirror almost every day but, now it was actually happening, it was like my mind had gone blank

“Um,” I started.

‘Brilliant, Aria. So intelligent,’I scolded myself internally.

Quickly, I pushed my thoughts away, trying to refocus. “...I‘ve been thinking a lot about the future,” I said. “We haven‘t really had a conversation about it since the night after the Alpha’s summons, back when Myra was attacked.” He raised an eyebrow at me. “Did you want to finally discuss why you told the Alpha you didn’t want to become Luna? Why you kept your mother and I in the dark about your intentions?” 

I paused. It sounded like he was still irritated about the whole thing. I could recall the argument we got into vividly and remembered how they had been so furious at my decision. It had scared me off enough to start keeping more secrets from them. “It wasn’t my intention to hide it from you,” I said. “I hadn‘t planned to tell the Alpha anything of the sort, but this mark on me changed everything. I needed to establish that I wasn’t a threat to Tytus or Aleric.” I then took a deep breath. “But, Father...I need you to know that, from the bottom of my heart… I really don’t want to be Luna. What I said to them that day was the truth. I really am sorry I kept it from you and Mother.”

but managed to stop myself right before I spoke. What a disaster that would have been. “...Why?” he finally asked, after

doubt you would have come all the way in here to tell me this

on pyritysten 

To his credit, he didn’t outwardly refuse me immediately. Instead, he just nodded his head, placing his teacup back on the table, and reclined into the couch in thought. I was too scared to say anything in case it just made his rejection quicker. After some time,

It was a question that would have been answered eventually, but

me instead of making me guess whatever he

two months thinking through my options thoroughly. This was something I wanted to do. Something that I *needed* to do. “I‘ve weighed all of my options with great care, Father” I replied. “This is the only choice I have that allows me to both refuse the Luna position and protect myself from those threatened by my mark”

meet his eyes and saw he was looking at me, a crease between his brows. “Aria, you don’t need to become a Luna for your mother and I to be proud of you,” he said. “I also don’t care whether you’re a male or female. To me, any child of mine naturally has a right to succeed me as Beta.” My heart leapt at

Father,” I said,

was a relief to finally hear the words from him, to know that he

– from us. I thought you understood how much we didn‘t appreciate you

me if were to tell them of my real desires and worries. “A Beta is someone trustworthy, someone who can be relied upon,” he said. “Someone who is able to fight and support those around them as a team. Your actions have shown me that you prefer to work alone without the support of

the barriers I’d made around myself were in complete contrast to the person I needed to be in order to become Beta. I hadn‘t

unable to look at him, and could feel the start of angry tears begint o bubble at my eyes. I was furious at myself for not realising earlier how my father would view the decisions I’d made. There was no way for him to have known why I was the way I was. “So, Aria,”

then it’s about time you

truthful. I‘ve finally told you what I‘ve been doing and how I don’t want to be Luna,” I

obviously disappointed in my

been marked by the Goddess. Something that, for generations now, we had all grown up thinking was just a myth.” And then I realised what truth he wanted. He wanted to know what had happened to me. Why I had changed so much in such a short period of time. Why I was no longer acting like the quiet diligent daughter I had