Chapter Fifty–Four
“Kiss me,” I said.
“...What...?”
After leaving home, I‘d headed straight to where I knew they would be. Somewhere I knew that I definitely shouldn‘t be.
But there was no hesitation as I‘d confidently walked up and knocked on their door. And when Cai had answered, I‘d ignored his confusion and demanded the one thing I knew could make me feel better.
Because if it felt anywhere near as good as the first time, then maybe it would be enough to make me forget for a moment that everything was falling to pieces around me.
“Kiss me,” I repeated.
His eyes were wide, stunned at my request, but he wasn‘t moving. I could see he was still in the same attire he‘d been in earlier; the formal clothes making his body somehow look even more fitted.
I quietly sighed impatiently whilst his head tried to comprehend exactly what was happening.
“Aria–.”
However, I didn‘t wait for him to finish his sentence. It wasn‘t words I wanted right now... it was him.
I walked up and pulled on the collar of his shirt until his face was within reach of my own.
“Please, Cai...,” I whispered, as I looked up slowly from his lips to his eyes.
He was so close now that it caused a shiver of anticipation to run through my body. I needed this, I needed him, and I could see in his eyes that he wanted me too. The tension between us was becoming so intense that it felt tangible. 1
The cold night breeze swept around us and it only made the warmth coming from him even more inviting. I loosened the hand I had hooked onto his shirt and ran it all the way along his chest, feeling him under m y touch, until it rested on his broad shoulder. I wanted him closer, his body still feeling too far away.
My heart jumped a little when I saw him finally lean in closer and place his hand on the side of my head, his thumb resting against my cheek tenderly. And instinctively, I closed my eyes as I moved towards him, preparing myself for what would happen next.
But instead of feeling him against my lips, I felt him shift away... and kiss my cheek instead.
“No,” he said quietly. “Not like this.”
I snapped my eyes open to look at him.
“No… no, please, I need this,” I said and grabbed onto him tighter. “Please, Cai... I want you.”
He closed his eyes and looked pained, almost as if he was internally having a battle within himself.
“Aria–”
“No, you said you wanted me,” I said, my voice becoming more frantic. “Why are you doing this now?”
“Because I honestly don‘t know if it‘s me you want right now, or if it‘s just you finding an outlet for your grief.”
I could feel as my cheeks began to burn in humiliation, my eyes tearing up, and instantly I dropped my
side as if he‘d just stung me. His words left me embarrassed and hurt over his rejection, and... angry. Angry that everyone was choosing to disappoint me today of all days.
Chaptei Hity Out
crap... I‘m sick of hearing people saying that to me today. I‘m fine! This isn‘t about
me today and yet somehow you‘re now on my doorstep begging
This is what you wanted, right? You just wanted to sleep with me?” I argued.” Well, here
he took a step away, creating a small distance between us. I couldn‘t help but flinch
Not... whoever the hell this is right now. And I honestly think that maybe, deep down, you do actually want me
nothing wrong with me...,” I
fact you can‘t even see it
calming himself
just as a friend. But I have more self–respect than to sit back and let you use me because of the feelings I have for you. Because I do want you... and I honestly want nothing more than for you to
tell him he
pressed. “Tell me that I‘m wrong and it‘s me you actually want. Or tell me that
to think... but ultimately shook my head. This wasn‘t the sort of on the spot decision I had expected to deal with when coming here. I wasn‘t ready for that sort of pressure
so,” he said
with this right now. I… I need to go.”
but Cai called out to me. His expression changed to one of worry and I could feel he was about to chase after me, but I held up a hand to warn him to stay
wait, where are you
There was no point in staying any longer. I
promise me you‘re
stop. I kept walking. I kept walking not really knowing where I was going but I knew I needed
it in. I screamed out into the sky; my frustration finally getting the better of
the opposite when I‘d needed them most. I had needed Aleric to believe me, to take my side. I‘d needed my father to push for Thea‘s arrest, or at least confinement until it was safe to find more evidence. And I‘d needed
out
was all Thea‘s fault. Everything had been fine before she‘d shown up. Myra would still be alive and I wouldn‘t
beginning to crumble around me, signs of the past starting to
do what needed to be done, then maybe would just do it myself. 1
Fuck it.
started moving again, walking with purpose towards the one place I could get my hands on somethingt o inflict as much pain to someone as I was currently in.
pay... and I would do it slowly, piece by piece, with the silver blade she used to kill Myra. I would make it agonising for her
command Aleric had placed on me. It wasn‘t happy with my intention to defy the order
towards me as I fell, and I began to crawl even as the pain got worse; I was determined to keep going no matter the
too late to stop
tell myself; that I was marked by the Goddess, chosen, a Saintess, and no order should be able to contain me. If I wanted to go kill Thea, then
until they finally broke off me like chains... and, instantly, I gasped with relief when the weight was lifted. It was as if an immediate sense of liberation filled me and I felt like I
...I was free.
evidence was kept locked up. The silver knife would be
entering the building, I looked around. I‘d been here many times before during my Beta heir rounds but it felt like I was seeing it in a completely new light given how dark it already was outside. The entire place felt too
way easily until I saw the room up ahead. A room
cautiously in a flat voice, approaching him slowly
saw me enter. “Beta heir?
something up. It‘s for the ongoing
help with solving the issue
Chesterbrity Fou!
hesitated, looking uncomfortable, and probably realised that something
most likely meant in the morning, Ma‘am. The evidence locker is kept shut until daylight hours. The warriors are Alpha ordered to stand
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