Chapter Fifty–Four 

“Kiss me,” I said. 

“...What...?” 

After leaving home, I‘d headed straight to where I knew they would be. Somewhere I knew that I definitely shouldn‘t be. 

But there was no hesitation as I‘d confidently walked up and knocked on their door. And when Cai had answered, I‘d ignored his confusion and demanded the one thing I knew could make me feel better. 

Because if it felt anywhere near as good as the first time, then maybe it would be enough to make me forget for a moment that everything was falling to pieces around me. 

“Kiss me,” I repeated. 

His eyes were wide, stunned at my request, but he wasn‘t moving. I could see he was still in the same attire he‘d been in earlier; the formal clothes making his body somehow look even more fitted. 

I quietly sighed impatiently whilst his head tried to comprehend exactly what was happening. 

“Aria–.” 

However, I didn‘t wait for him to finish his sentence. It wasn‘t words I wanted right now... it was him. 

I walked up and pulled on the collar of his shirt until his face was within reach of my own. 

“Please, Cai...,” I whispered, as I looked up slowly from his lips to his eyes. 

He was so close now that it caused a shiver of anticipation to run through my body. I needed this, I needed him, and I could see in his eyes that he wanted me too. The tension between us was becoming so intense that it felt tangible. 1 

The cold night breeze swept around us and it only made the warmth coming from him even more inviting. I loosened the hand I had hooked onto his shirt and ran it all the way along his chest, feeling him under m y touch, until it rested on his broad shoulder. I wanted him closer, his body still feeling too far away

My heart jumped a little when I saw him finally lean in closer and place his hand on the side of my head, his thumb resting against my cheek tenderly. And instinctively, I closed my eyes as I moved towards him, preparing myself for what would happen next. 

But instead of feeling him against my lips, I felt him shift away... and kiss my cheek instead. 

“No,” he said quietly. “Not like this.” 

I snapped my eyes open to look at him. 

“No… no, please, I need this,” I said and grabbed onto him tighter. “Please, Cai... I want you.” 

He closed his eyes and looked pained, almost as if he was internally having a battle within himself. 

Aria–” 

“No, you said you wanted me,” I said, my voice becoming more frantic. “Why are you doing this now?” 

“Because I honestly don‘t know if it‘s me you want right now, or if it‘s just you finding an outlet for your grief.” 

I could feel as my cheeks began to burn in humiliation, my eyes tearing up, and instantly I dropped my 

side as if he‘d just stung me. His words left me embarrassed and hurt over his rejection, and... angry. Angry that everyone was choosing to disappoint me today of all days. 

Chaptei Hity Out 

sick of hearing people saying that to me today. I‘m fine!

somehow you‘re now on my doorstep begging for me. Excuse me if I‘m a little sceptical of the sincerity

care? This is what you wanted, right? You just wanted to sleep with me?” I argued.” Well, here I

a small distance between us. I couldn‘t help but flinch at his movement to get

And I honestly think that maybe, deep down, you do actually want me too... but the way you‘re acting right now just tells

nothing wrong with

fact you can‘t even see it is part of the issue

calming himself down.

use me because of the feelings I have for you. Because I do want you... and I honestly want nothing more than for you to tell me right now that I‘m wrong about all of this. But from what I can see, you need

to speak, to tell him he was wrong, but I couldn‘t

me you actually want. Or tell me

wasn‘t the sort of on the spot decision I had expected to deal with when coming here. I

thought so,” he said

deal with this right now. I… I need to go.”

His expression changed to one of worry and I could feel he was about to chase after me, but I

where are

the night away from him. There was no

you‘re

kept walking. I kept walking not really knowing where I was going

in. I screamed out into the sky; my frustration finally getting the better of me.

them most. I had needed Aleric to believe me, to take my side. I‘d needed my father to push for Thea‘s arrest,

thoughts out of

alive and I wouldn‘t be fighting with Aleric and my father. I wouldn‘t have to feel so messed up

signs of the past starting to

if Aleric and my father weren‘t willing to do what needed to

Fuck it. 

walking with purpose towards the one place I could get my hands on somethingt o inflict as much

the silver blade she used to kill

second I thought of my plan to go see Thea; the Alpha command Aleric had placed on me. It wasn‘t happy with my intention to defy the order given to me. I winced, crying out in pain as it constricted

determined to keep going no matter

it was too late

repeated the words I needed to tell myself; that I was marked by the Goddess, chosen, a Saintess, and no order should be able to contain me. If I wanted to go kill Thea, then goddammit, I would go kill

and, instantly, I gasped with relief when the weight

...I was free. 

I came to the building where the evidence was kept locked up. The silver knife would be in there I knew, guarded by at least one warrior, but I wasn‘t concerned. Given how little time had passed since Aleric‘s decision, I was fairly

during my Beta heir rounds but it felt like I was seeing it in a completely new light given how dark it already was outside. The entire place felt too empty and quiet but I knew there would

easily until I saw the room up ahead. A room guarded by only

I greeted cautiously in a flat voice, approaching him slowly to gauge his

me enter. “Beta heir? Why

to pick something up. It‘s for

was definitely going to help with solving the issue of Myra‘s murderer on the

Chesterbrity Fou! 

realised

likely meant in the morning, Ma‘am. The evidence locker is kept shut until daylight hours. The warriors

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