Chapter Fifty–Four 

“Kiss me,” I said. 

“...What...?” 

After leaving home, I‘d headed straight to where I knew they would be. Somewhere I knew that I definitely shouldn‘t be. 

But there was no hesitation as I‘d confidently walked up and knocked on their door. And when Cai had answered, I‘d ignored his confusion and demanded the one thing I knew could make me feel better. 

Because if it felt anywhere near as good as the first time, then maybe it would be enough to make me forget for a moment that everything was falling to pieces around me. 

“Kiss me,” I repeated. 

His eyes were wide, stunned at my request, but he wasn‘t moving. I could see he was still in the same attire he‘d been in earlier; the formal clothes making his body somehow look even more fitted. 

I quietly sighed impatiently whilst his head tried to comprehend exactly what was happening. 

“Aria–.” 

However, I didn‘t wait for him to finish his sentence. It wasn‘t words I wanted right now... it was him. 

I walked up and pulled on the collar of his shirt until his face was within reach of my own. 

“Please, Cai...,” I whispered, as I looked up slowly from his lips to his eyes. 

He was so close now that it caused a shiver of anticipation to run through my body. I needed this, I needed him, and I could see in his eyes that he wanted me too. The tension between us was becoming so intense that it felt tangible. 1 

The cold night breeze swept around us and it only made the warmth coming from him even more inviting. I loosened the hand I had hooked onto his shirt and ran it all the way along his chest, feeling him under m y touch, until it rested on his broad shoulder. I wanted him closer, his body still feeling too far away

My heart jumped a little when I saw him finally lean in closer and place his hand on the side of my head, his thumb resting against my cheek tenderly. And instinctively, I closed my eyes as I moved towards him, preparing myself for what would happen next. 

But instead of feeling him against my lips, I felt him shift away... and kiss my cheek instead. 

“No,” he said quietly. “Not like this.” 

I snapped my eyes open to look at him. 

“No… no, please, I need this,” I said and grabbed onto him tighter. “Please, Cai... I want you.” 

He closed his eyes and looked pained, almost as if he was internally having a battle within himself. 

Aria–” 

“No, you said you wanted me,” I said, my voice becoming more frantic. “Why are you doing this now?” 

“Because I honestly don‘t know if it‘s me you want right now, or if it‘s just you finding an outlet for your grief.” 

I could feel as my cheeks began to burn in humiliation, my eyes tearing up, and instantly I dropped my 

side as if he‘d just stung me. His words left me embarrassed and hurt over his rejection, and... angry. Angry that everyone was choosing to disappoint me today of all days. 

Chaptei Hity Out 

saying that to

stand to look at me today and yet somehow you‘re now on

care? This is what you wanted, right? You just wanted to sleep with me?” I

his hands but he took a step away, creating a small distance between us. I

whoever the hell this is right now. And I honestly think that maybe, deep down, you do actually want me too... but the way

gritted my teeth. “There‘s nothing wrong

see it is part of the issue

sighed, calming himself

But I have more self–respect than to sit back and let you use me because of the feelings I have for you. Because I do want you... and I honestly want nothing more than for you to tell me right now that I‘m wrong about

to speak, to tell him he was wrong, but I couldn‘t find the

that I‘m wrong and it‘s me you actually want. Or tell me that you want my

racing as I tried to think... but ultimately shook my head. This wasn‘t the sort of on the spot decision I had expected to deal with when coming here. I wasn‘t ready for that sort of

so,” he

right now. I… I need

out to me. His expression changed to one of worry and I could feel he was about to chase after me, but I held

wait, where are you going?”

off into the night away from him. There was no point in staying any longer. I was already at the point of feeling humiliated and confused

you‘re going

didn‘t stop. I kept walking. I kept walking not really knowing where I was going but I knew I needed

help it anymore, unable to hold it in. I screamed out into the sky; my frustration finally getting the better

when I‘d needed them most. I had needed Aleric to believe me, to take my side. I‘d needed my father to push for Thea‘s arrest, or at least confinement until it was safe to

shook the thoughts out of my

alive and I wouldn‘t be fighting with Aleric and my father. I wouldn‘t

me, signs of the past

that if Aleric and my father weren‘t willing to do what

Fuck it. 

with purpose towards the one place I could get my hands on somethingt o inflict as much pain to someone as

make Thea pay... and I would do it slowly, piece by piece, with the silver blade she used to kill Myra. I would make it agonising for her and ensure that she‘d suffer an even worse death poor

me. It wasn‘t happy with my intention

going no

was too late

to tell myself; that I was marked by the Goddess, chosen, a Saintess, and no order should be able to

until they finally broke off me like chains... and, instantly, I gasped with relief when the weight was lifted. It was as if an immediate

...I was free. 

coercing me onwards faster. I kept going until, finally, I came to the building where the evidence was kept locked up. The silver knife would be in there I knew, guarded by at least one warrior, but I wasn‘t concerned. Given how little

before during my Beta heir rounds but it felt like I was seeing it in a completely new light given how dark it already was outside. The entire place felt

hallways, remembering the way easily until I saw the room up ahead. A room

cautiously in a flat voice, approaching him slowly to gauge

“Beta

me to pick something up. It‘s for

to help with solving the issue of

Chesterbrity Fou! 

hesitated, looking uncomfortable, and probably realised

is kept shut until daylight hours. The warriors are

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