Accidental Surrogate

Ella

“Cora, this is exactly what I needed!” I exclaim, raising my voice over the pounding music. “When was the last time we went out just for the fun of it?”

“I can’t even remember!” She shouts back, beaming as multi-colored strobe lights flash over her lovely features. “When was the last time you weren’t working or stuck taking care of that prick, Mike!?”

I don’t need to know the exact date to know it’s been ages – we haven’t had the freedom or money to go out in years, not that it had been much of an option beforehand. Cora always offered to pay my way of course, but I never felt comfortable accepting money from her, not to mention Mike would have accused me of trying to meet another man. Looking at my sister now, dancing without a care to the thumping bass, I’m transported back to the first night we ever snuck into a club.

We were fifteen years old, and it was our second summer living in the streets rather than suffering at the orphanage. We couldn’t survive the elements in the fall and winter, so we always ended up going back – but these summers were quickly becoming our escape from all the troubles of the broken system, and this night was our first foray into the world of grown up night life.

We befriended the bartender, convincing him we were much older than our true age and bribing him with the little money we could spare from our jobs at a local daycare center. He let us in without complaint, even offering us our first drink for free. It was the first taste of alcohol we’d ever consumed, and the only amount we’d consume that night. We were determined to save our money so we could afford an apartment together one day – even if that meant sleeping in cardboard boxes in the park, or crashing on the floor of the daycare center in the meantime.

“This is amazing!” I cried, dancing without any inhibitions, raising my arms over my head as I swayed to the hypnotic beat.

“I never knew it could be so fun!” Cora replied happily. “Why isn’t dancing around in the dark at home this great?”

“Because we’re not allowed to have music,” I laugh, “or do anything even remotely resembling fun!”

come back some time!” She suggests, obviously trying to figure out when we might be able to

be a special occasion, so I throw out, “The last night of summer!

memory shifts before I can stop it, sweeping me off to the night we’d agreed on during that first outing, to the last night of summer. The evening had started out precisely the same way, with us changing in the children’s restroom at work, trying our best to look grown up, and bribing our way in through the back door. It soon dissolved into a hazy

Cora from the start, but I didn’t truly panic until he began dragging me towards the bathroom. The music was so loud that no one could hear me crying out for help. I wriggled and fought with all my might, but it wasn’t until

was bound to raise other ghosts from the depths of my past – specters I have no intention of resurrecting now. I reach for Cora, determined not to continue down the

time of her life. Still, she takes one look at my face, and her own crumples with concern. “I’ll come

I wave her off, “You stay and have fun, I’ll

the snow, not bothering to retrieve my coat from the coat check. The bracing cold is an utter relief after the writhing heat of the dance floor, and though I chafe my arms against the chill, I welcome the brisk air filling my

the present – and then my waking nightmares rise up at the most inopportune moments. I drag a hand through my hair, trying to clear my mind, to get myself back to that happy haze of a little while ago. I haven’t wished for a

I stand in the cold, contemplating how long is too long to spend out here and distractedly wondering why I never seem to feel the elements the way others do – the sound of clinking glass shatters the silence. I whip

one of the rough, ragged looking men is twice my size,

despite the morbid turn of my thoughts, this night had been the break I needed from my new, surreal reality. Since we came out I haven’t thought about wolves, shifters,

demand, trying to sound braver than I feel. “If it’s money, I’ll give it to you, but you should know

me laughs, a cruel, humorless sound. “You think we don’t know