Accidental Surrogate

Ella

My mind goes blank at first. Sinclair is too close to the truth, to figuring out that I’m not as immune to him as either of us would like to believe. The voice in my head is panicking, but I try to keep it together. Praying for calm, I take a deep breath, and as I exhale I recall the ability to speak.

“Because we’re supposed to be in this together, and you played me.” I murmur, speaking the truth – but not the whole truth. I can’t admit to him that I feel utterly rejected by his ploy, that I feel unwanted on a visceral level and it’s tearing me up inside for reasons I don’t yet understand. “You played me like I’m one of those reporters, or the Prince.”

Sinclair’s face twists into a grimace, and the next thing I know he’s reaching for me, “Please, come here Ella.”

“No.” I insist stubbornly, preparing to move away if he tries to approach me.

“I’m sorry.” He expresses, looking truly remorseful. “I didn’t mean to do that. I care about you, I don’t want to hurt you that way.”

“Well you did.” I reply petulantly. I don’t know where this comes from. With anyone else I would have accepted the apology and moved on, whether I actually felt better or not. I’ve always chosen peace over my own feelings – but I find it very hard to pretend with Sinclair. I think he would know that I don’t actually feel better, so why should I fake it?

“I know.” He nods grimly. “I promise I’ll find a way to make it up to you.”

“I don’t need some sort of reparation.” I insist, “Just… do better, Dominic.”

“I will.” Sinclair vows soberly, “You have my word.”

I breathe a sigh of relief, but Sinclair is surveying me closely. I can tell he wants to metaphorically kiss and make up, but as I suspected, he senses my upset is not wholly resolved. “What else?” He prompts.

“Nothing important.” I shrug, not feeling brave enough to ask the questions I’m most curious about.

“Ella,” He says my name as an admonition, scolding me for not being honest with nothing but those two familiar syllables. “Come on, tell me what’s on your mind.”

gnaw on my lower lip, hating that he can read me so easily, but also relieved that I might get my answers. “Alright, what was all that about discipline? Those things the Prince said about my insolence? It didn’t just sound like Alpha stuff… I mean it’s one thing to be insubordinate to a leader, but the way you two were talking… it

energy in the limo abruptly shifts. The air around us goes taut, feeling suddenly tense and electric despite the fact that nothing has actually changed. Neither one of us have moved a muscle. Still I know Sinclair feels

thing? But that’s so backwards! You just said that

it comes down to power dynamics, and that dominance isn’t a virtue – but

what, because men are physically stronger they get to

have to remember that shifters are very primal beings. Whatever instincts humans once possessed have been socialized out of you. You’ve been completely detached from your inner animal. But for us? Our inner animal

guess, feeling a shiver run down my

strongest. They need to feel their mate’s dominance to know they’re safe, to satisfy their own inner animal. Only then will they submit.” Sinclair shares. “That’s part of why I think you’d make such a good wolf. I think you have

talk about discipline… that was serious? Literal?” I

the limo to sit beside me, invading my space with his big body. “Yes.” He rumbles deeply. “It was. Does that scare you?” I don’t know why, but for some reason, his ominous manner makes me think he wants me to say yes, he wants me to be scared. Oh Goddess, what do I

______________________

Sinclair

wolf howls in triumph. The gendered nature of shifter power dynamics might outrage Ella’s human values, but she clearly craves a strong mate just like any she-wolf – whether she realizes

her pink lips form a perfect “o” as she tries to wrap her mind around this idea, “if a she-wolf does something her mate doesn’t agree with, she

weak men assert their

“But you said –”

not abuse.” I

but it’s enough to see the blend of eagerness and apprehension

me to pull back my wolf from treating her like one of our own, especially when she shows so many wolfish qualities. I’d be

were things like time outs and no screen time – groundings for

much the same with our pups.” I say, to Ella’s obvious relief. “But

and it’s all the more obvious now that she’s settled in my lap. The sweet little human probably thinks I don’t have

encourage. “Just say the