Accidental Surrogate

Ella

“Goddess, Cora, what’s wrong with me?” I moan, burying my head in my hands. “I’ve been thinking Sinclair is too good to be true all along. There cannot be a bigger red flag and I just ignored it. I let him love bomb me and I bought every manipulative word out of his mouth.”

I’m seated in my sister’s living room, rocking back and forth in my seat while she looks on anxiously. After I received Sinclair’s text last night, I didn’t waste any time getting out of his house. I went out onto my balcony and waited until the patrolling guards passed by, then climbed down the trellis and out the back gate. There was a vicious thunderstorm roiling at the time, but I barely noticed. I ran through the pouring rain, not stopping until I reached Cora’s apartment.

In hindsight I’m sure I scared her half to death – turning up on her doorstep in the middle of the night, looking like a drowned rat. Nonetheless, she immediately ushered me in and got me a change of dry clothes and a cup of hot tea, but I wasn’t calm enough to actually explain what happened until this morning.

“Ella just slow down, I didn’t think anything had even happened between you two?” Cora asks, watching me with obvious concern.

“I mean, nothing huge.” I clarify. “We’ve flirted and kissed and fooled around a bit… and I’ve insisted that things not go any further. At least, I had enough sense to ensure we didn’t start an actual relationship.”

“And he agreed? You said no and he didn’t push you?” Cora presses.

“Yeah, I mean it’s been hard because we’re attracted to each other, but he’s been trying to respect my wishes.”

“Then how can he have love bombed you?” She inquires, looking confused.

“I guess that’s the wrong expression.” I concede. “It’s just, you should hear the way he talks to me, and the way he behaves. He’s so affectionate and warm that I got completely lulled into complacency. He just lavishes attention and compliments, and he actually listens and takes criticism. He takes my thoughts and opinions into account, and he has this silly side where he can be so fun and playful, but at the same time he doesn’t let me get away with murder. He calls me on my shit and holds me accountable. Like I said, he’s just too good to be true.”

Cora is frowning deeply, keeping her expression guarded while she processes my words. “Ella…”

“What? Why are you looking at me that way?” I burst, instantly regretting my sharp tone. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have snapped at you…” Suddenly I want to cry. “I didn’t mean it. I’m just really out of sorts.”

furrowing in sympathy. “And don’t take this the wrong way, but none of that sounds very bad. I mean, it’s not like he’s pretending to be this perfect person. You two started off on terrible footing. Terrible.” She repeats for emphasis. “He thought you were a gold digger and was going to separate you from your child. You had to learn to get along, and sure that happened fast once you decided to trust each other, but… I’m sorry Ella, but it honestly just sounds like you like each other.” She leans forward, resting her elbows on her knees and sending me serious therapist vibes. “Is it possible that

that I somehow mistook them for Sinclair grooming me for abuse? Even as I think this, I recall the other things that have happened between us. “That’s not all.”

course he is, he’s

in charge

her eyes. “Ella, stop beating around the bush, just tell me what

giving orders, he holds me to them.” I confess. “Once, he even

as though she’s waiting

the wild hunt.” I explain, offering the information freely now. “I mean… I slapped him first and he said all this crap about catharsis, but I

Dominic

annoying me!” I defend hotly. “He kept saying I should stay home and rest but I wasn’t about to let that foul

about this. “You were in shock, being obstinate and refusing to take care of yourself, then you attacked him and he

I grimace, rubbing the back of my

injure you?” She

“It hurt, but it brought me out of my shock and it really did help me to cry… plus, well I was really turned on afterward.” I whisper, unable to believe

“So what’s

that

not sure how to make me understand. “Power dynamics are a big part of their culture and from a scientific perspective it makes perfect sense. Dominance means strength and strength means survival. And if you liked it, who cares whether or not

I object. “Just that it helped me…and turned me on… and I did like feeling how in

him to do it again?” She asks, grinning mischievously