Accidental Surrogate

Chapter 115

Ella

Tears are streaming down Sinclair’s face as he relives his Mother’s death, and I’m

doing my best not to burst into outright sobs. My heart aches for the little boy he once

was, and for the burden he obviously still carries today. Hearing this story, I

understand that his last conversation with his mother had truly stayed with him over

the years, shaping him into the man before me now.

“Afterwards, I leaned that she’d gotten Roger out of the house only to realize that I

wasn’t there.”

Sinclair Continues, wiping his eyes. “She ran back in to get me, even though the

guards tried to stop her.” Sinclair relates, “So you see, that’s why Roger always

blamed me… he wasn’t wrong. If I’d listened to her the first time, if I’d gone outside

when she told me to, she would still be alive now.”

“But Pancake wouldn’t.” I remind him thickly.

The corners of his mouth quirk up, “It was almost thirty years ago, baby. Pancake is

long gone.”

“You know what I mean” I chide him. “And your mother understood because you were

doing exactly what she was trying to teach you – to protect those more vulnerable

than yourself.”

“I know.” He confesses. “I spent years in therapy,

Just trying to come to terms with the fact that it was her choice. I was a child and

couldn’t have understood the danger, and she didn’t have to come after me.”

“But she was your mother, it wasn’t even a question for her.” I murmur, twining my

limbs with his so he can feel my solid weight in his arms. “She wanted you to live

much more than she cared about her own survival.”

He nods wordlessly, his eyes still distant, as if he hasn’t truly returned to the present.

“I understand that, but sometimes I still think that if it wasn’t for me, she never would

have needed to make a choice in the first place. My decision that day took her from

Dad and Roger and the pack.”

“Did you ever find out how the fire started?” I ask softly, running my fingers through

the dark, thick locks of his hair.

“In the weeks after the fire, it became clear that it was arson.” Sinclair explains

pack business, and

pups. We were never able to prove it, but

Xavier was on the throne then, and my

next in line. All the politics that are playing out today – they were

under way back then.”

it was the King – the current one,

now that we’ve moved on

the biggest and baddest wolf around is

on your back. And the worse thing is that you’re so hard to kill

you on directly, that they

effective as killing you, but Alphas who

pups rarely recover fully.”

pauses to nuzzle my neck and caress my belly, as if reminding

“It could have been anyone, but I actually think Xavier is a

my father was

was clear he would be soon.

had a lot of time left to try and make them, I think the

wall. My father was too strong and too

wasn’t your decision that took

wasn’t some tragic accident, it was murder.”

hating the guilt still dominating my

down at me tenderly. “You don’t have to worry, Ella. I’m okay – I

long

there’s nothing to forgive.” I insist,

look into

it came down to me or Rafe, I would choose him every time – even tiny

wouldn’t ever want him to think that

himself”

Sinclair tucks my head under his chin, stroking my spine. “It’s

know.”

comforting me! I’m supposed to be comforting you.” I complain.

failing to wriggle free.

are.” Sinclair lies – the rat. “It comforts me just holding you

change tactics. “Do you have any idea

I ask

speaking with complete honestly. “You became

matters most, even when the whole world

against you. You lead with love instead of

strength with cruelty.”

me.” Sinclair rumbles with

“Do you remember when we first met, and you

a scheming gold digger?”

have made

you were wrong, you

hurting, your first

remember being so shocked, because

predator – and you held me

my entire

“You make

could go from being a grizzly to a

of an

you could see yourself the way I do,

up your ego – which, for the record, I

big enough.” I quip, yelping when Sinclair pinches my

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