Accidental Surrogate

Chapter 115

Ella

Tears are streaming down Sinclair’s face as he relives his Mother’s death, and I’m

doing my best not to burst into outright sobs. My heart aches for the little boy he once

was, and for the burden he obviously still carries today. Hearing this story, I

understand that his last conversation with his mother had truly stayed with him over

the years, shaping him into the man before me now.

“Afterwards, I leaned that she’d gotten Roger out of the house only to realize that I

wasn’t there.”

Sinclair Continues, wiping his eyes. “She ran back in to get me, even though the

guards tried to stop her.” Sinclair relates, “So you see, that’s why Roger always

blamed me… he wasn’t wrong. If I’d listened to her the first time, if I’d gone outside

when she told me to, she would still be alive now.”

“But Pancake wouldn’t.” I remind him thickly.

The corners of his mouth quirk up, “It was almost thirty years ago, baby. Pancake is

long gone.”

“You know what I mean” I chide him. “And your mother understood because you were

doing exactly what she was trying to teach you – to protect those more vulnerable

than yourself.”

“I know.” He confesses. “I spent years in therapy,

Just trying to come to terms with the fact that it was her choice. I was a child and

couldn’t have understood the danger, and she didn’t have to come after me.”

“But she was your mother, it wasn’t even a question for her.” I murmur, twining my

limbs with his so he can feel my solid weight in his arms. “She wanted you to live

much more than she cared about her own survival.”

He nods wordlessly, his eyes still distant, as if he hasn’t truly returned to the present.

“I understand that, but sometimes I still think that if it wasn’t for me, she never would

have needed to make a choice in the first place. My decision that day took her from

Dad and Roger and the pack.”

“Did you ever find out how the fire started?” I ask softly, running my fingers through

the dark, thick locks of his hair.

“In the weeks after the fire, it became clear that it was arson.” Sinclair explains

was away on pack business, and it was well known

pups. We were never able to prove it,

was on the throne then, and my father was

that are playing

under way back then.”

think it was the King – the current one, I mean?”

potent now that we’ve moved on

with being the biggest and baddest wolf around is that it puts a

And the worse thing is that you’re so hard

you on directly, that they go after your family

killing you, but Alphas who lose

pups rarely recover fully.”

and caress my belly, as if

could have been

the current king – my father was

it was clear he would be soon. Xavier didn’t

still had a lot of time left to try and make them, I

wall. My father was too strong and too

it wasn’t your decision that took your mother, it

was responsible. It wasn’t some tragic accident, it was

hating the guilt still

have

a long time

forgive.” I insist, near

to look into

if it came down to me or Rafe, I would choose him every time – even tiny as

that my sacrifice wasn’t worth it, or

himself”

under his chin, stroking my spine.

know.”

me! I’m supposed to be comforting you.”

failing to wriggle free.

“It comforts me just

“Do you have any

I ask him softly, hoping to help ease

became exactly the man

lost sight of what matters most, even when

lead with love instead

strength with cruelty.”

just flattering me.” Sinclair rumbles

not.” I bite back. “Do you remember when

a scheming gold digger?”

yes, I’m sure that would have made my mother very proud.” Sinclair

wrong, you owned up to your mistake.” I

saw I was hurting, your

even think about it. I remember being so

and you held me more gently and with

my

hands. “You make me

him. He could go from being a grizzly

blink of an

you could see yourself the way I do,

know I’m not just trying to pump up your ego – which, for the record, I

already big enough.” I

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