Accidental Surrogate

Ella

I'm gripping my sister’s hand, gritting my teeth and groaning through the first of my pushes, when the door bangs open again.I don’t open my eyes — can't look - Quite frankly, at this particular moment I don’t care who the hell it is - if it's Hank, or Roger, or insurgents coming to kill us — all I care about is the horrible, tearing pain within me as I work to bring my baby into the world.I moan, throwing my head back against the pillows as I pant, feeling the pain subside a little bit.

"How is she?"

I hear Hank ask, and I open my eyes to see him there next to me.I try to give him a little smile, failing a bit.

"Hello, Ella," he says softly, his voice warmer than I'm used to.

"You look like you're doing great." mI murmur my thanks to him as he turns his attention back to Cora, getting a full report, and I shift my gaze to Roger, who stands awkwardly across the room.

"Roger," I say, putting my hand out to him, inviting him closer.

"Hello, Ella!" he calls, awkward.

"Happy...happy birth. Or whatever."

Sinclair starts to laugh quietly.

"Come over, Roger," he demands and Roger sighs, hanging his head and deliberately choosing not to look at me as he comes to stand with his brother.

"What," Sinclair asks him as he arrives at his side.

"More of a cigars in the waiting room kind of guy?"

"Yeah," Roger agrees, giving his brother a little glare.

"I'd say that’s much more my vibe."

"I wanted you here," I say to him, giving him a tired little smile.

"I want you to meet the baby."

"Of course I want to meet the baby, Ella," Roger says, his voice kinder now as he meets my gaze.

"Just...when you've cleaned it up a bit. Gotten some of the goop off." I laugh, a little, but groan when I feel the pain start to return.

Cora climbs up onto the bed for this one, cursing a little at the lack of stirrups and the soft surface of the mattress that makes it harder for her to see what's really going on.

as he turns away, which perversely makes me want to laugh in

at my side, Sinclair solid a solid force

quickly through this,

contraction ends and I pant, working to

final parts of it now," he says, patting my knee

says this. I have no idea what that could mean - is there trouble in paradise? -

contractions and then resting, as

to me and my mate is by my side through

endless repetition of

he’s almost here!" she says, and the cheer in her voice is a balm to my agonized

look at her with hope in my eyes and she gives me

head will be born, and then it’s

excitedly at Sinclair, happy despite the pain ravaging my body.I wait for the next contraction and, when it comes and Cora tells me to, I push - absolutely as hard as I can,

"Oh, his little head!"

body next!" I nod, eager, and begin to push again. And push, and push. I gasp, laying back and panting as I feel the contraction end, and I look to Cora for instructions. Instead of a happy smile, though, I see her exchange an

to sit up and moaning at the

wrong? Where's my

something wrong?" Sinclair asks, suddenly

and steady, to let the doctor's do their work. Inaction and the passing of responsibility to another - no matter how much they

wants to be

"Um,"

"it’s okay, Ella -

at the baby. I struggle to sit up, to see the child, but my sister shakes her head at me, leaning

I beg, my eyes fixed on

have

and I see that

any progress in the past few pushes. Which is

"There is some worry,"

continues, "that because he’s such a large baby, that

I gasp,

rigid next

common," Hank says

of women experience this with large babies. It’s called shoulder dystocia — we think his shoulder

confused,

"What do we -"

Cora says, though her worried voice belies