Accidental Surrogate

I cry out as I’m pulled backwards – surprised more than hurt and suddenly I’m pressed against

him in the pouring rain. Roger holds me tight, one hand around my upper arm, the other wrapped

firmly around me, pressing my body to his

And the feel of him, of his skin hot against my own – my towel is gone, I have no idea where — I

cry harder at the feel of him and rest my forehead against his chest, because I know I can’t have it

– I can’t-

“Cora!” Roger shouts, above the wind and the rain. “What – Cora! What the hell are you doing?!”

“I can’t!” I sob. “I can’t do this, Roger! I can’t be with you like this, not if you’ll….you’ll never love

me! I can’t have you in half measures!” I look up at him then, into his face, realizing the truth of it

in that moment. “I can’t do this if you can’t take me for who I am! Human! Broken! Complicated,

difficult! Confused, and jealous, and mad pretty much all the time! If you can’t take me like that,” I

shout, begging now, “then let me go, Roger! Because I can’t –”

I glance back in the direction of the hotel, my sobbing breaths tearing at my lungs, “I can’t have

half of you. I can’t have – just…. lust. It will kill me! It will break my heart, and I’ll never survive it!”

With the last words I pound my free hand against his chest, my palm slapping wet against his

skin.

Roger stares down at me as I confess everything to him- my whole heart – listening to every

word. And then, when I’m done, when the words stop pouring from my mouth and all that’s left is

my panting breath, he tightens his arms around me, giving me an angry little shake. He clenches

tell that he’s mad

Cora,” Roger growls, glaring down at me. “You’re my fucking

me up in his arms, the gesture not at all

all of you – my

1. it. And I was an idiot” he continues, his voice breaking, “I hesitated, and I’ll regret it until the day I

because there was no denying that all I want –

www

mouth hard on mine, and my body reacts instantly, my back

him. My arms are around his neck, pulling him closer to me,

open to him as every piece of me – every molecule –

universe. And

above us,

me fervently too him and ravages my mouth with his kisses me like

around us, which it very well might be.

sweep us away. But Roger is adamant against it and something fierce

been a fool to run from this. That we can

comes next.

his face when Roger pulls away from me. “Come on,”

cracks again as he turns back towards the safety of the

Now.” Then he shakes his head at me, frustrated, and mutters “you idiot.”

his insult, tucking my head against

the motel. Barely above the sound of the storm, I hear him growling

about insane women who run naked into

should have known better, because he’s met my sister, and

myself smiling, laughing a little and wrapping my

Roger is about to find out precisely how crazy I can really be.

door to our motel room is hanging open, blowing in the wind, but Roger ignores the

it as he strides through the entrance, kicking the door shut behind

he moves steadily towards the bed.

mattress, a little angry

laugh again – laugh, a little recklessly, as

bed. Laugh, because he’s so fucking

want to tear him to pieces, and I know he wants