Accidental Surrogate

I cry out as I’m pulled backwards – surprised more than hurt and suddenly I’m pressed against

him in the pouring rain. Roger holds me tight, one hand around my upper arm, the other wrapped

firmly around me, pressing my body to his

And the feel of him, of his skin hot against my own – my towel is gone, I have no idea where — I

cry harder at the feel of him and rest my forehead against his chest, because I know I can’t have it

– I can’t-

“Cora!” Roger shouts, above the wind and the rain. “What – Cora! What the hell are you doing?!”

“I can’t!” I sob. “I can’t do this, Roger! I can’t be with you like this, not if you’ll….you’ll never love

me! I can’t have you in half measures!” I look up at him then, into his face, realizing the truth of it

in that moment. “I can’t do this if you can’t take me for who I am! Human! Broken! Complicated,

difficult! Confused, and jealous, and mad pretty much all the time! If you can’t take me like that,” I

shout, begging now, “then let me go, Roger! Because I can’t –”

I glance back in the direction of the hotel, my sobbing breaths tearing at my lungs, “I can’t have

half of you. I can’t have – just…. lust. It will kill me! It will break my heart, and I’ll never survive it!”

With the last words I pound my free hand against his chest, my palm slapping wet against his

skin.

Roger stares down at me as I confess everything to him- my whole heart – listening to every

word. And then, when I’m done, when the words stop pouring from my mouth and all that’s left is

my panting breath, he tightens his arms around me, giving me an angry little shake. He clenches

that he’s mad – but I have no

damn it, Cora,” Roger growls, glaring down at me. “You’re my

his arms, the gesture not at all sweet or romantic – but possessive,

is all of you

1. it. And I was an idiot” he continues, his voice breaking, “I hesitated, and I’ll regret it until the day I

that all I want – all

www

mouth hard on mine, and my body reacts instantly, my back

arms are around his neck, pulling

mouth open to him as every piece of me – every molecule –

something in me screams to the universe. And

universe responds, lightening cracking above us, the rain pouring around us

ravages my mouth with

around us, which it very well might be. The water rushes around his ankles, threatening

it and something fierce within me sings

weather it, that I’ve been a fool to run from this. That we can face this

comes next.

on his face when Roger pulls away from me. “Come on,” he growls, his skin shivering

the cold rain. Thunder cracks again as he turns back towards the safety of the motel. “I’m

you inside. Now.” Then he shakes his head at

head against his shoulder

him carry me back to the motel. Barely above the sound of the storm, I hear

with every step, something about insane women

he’s met my sister, and madness is

to find myself smiling, laughing a little and wrapping my arms

is about to find out

open, blowing in the wind, but Roger ignores

he strides through the entrance, kicking the door

as he moves steadily towards the bed. When we get there

mattress, a little angry and not bothering to be gentle.

damn it, but I laugh again – laugh,

out motel bed. Laugh, because he’s so

at ourselves and I want to tear him