Accidental Surrogate

I cry out as I’m pulled backwards – surprised more than hurt and suddenly I’m pressed against

him in the pouring rain. Roger holds me tight, one hand around my upper arm, the other wrapped

firmly around me, pressing my body to his

And the feel of him, of his skin hot against my own – my towel is gone, I have no idea where — I

cry harder at the feel of him and rest my forehead against his chest, because I know I can’t have it

– I can’t-

“Cora!” Roger shouts, above the wind and the rain. “What – Cora! What the hell are you doing?!”

“I can’t!” I sob. “I can’t do this, Roger! I can’t be with you like this, not if you’ll….you’ll never love

me! I can’t have you in half measures!” I look up at him then, into his face, realizing the truth of it

in that moment. “I can’t do this if you can’t take me for who I am! Human! Broken! Complicated,

difficult! Confused, and jealous, and mad pretty much all the time! If you can’t take me like that,” I

shout, begging now, “then let me go, Roger! Because I can’t –”

I glance back in the direction of the hotel, my sobbing breaths tearing at my lungs, “I can’t have

half of you. I can’t have – just…. lust. It will kill me! It will break my heart, and I’ll never survive it!”

With the last words I pound my free hand against his chest, my palm slapping wet against his

skin.

Roger stares down at me as I confess everything to him- my whole heart – listening to every

word. And then, when I’m done, when the words stop pouring from my mouth and all that’s left is

my panting breath, he tightens his arms around me, giving me an angry little shake. He clenches

jaw and I can tell that he’s mad – but I

Cora,” Roger growls, glaring down at me. “You’re my fucking mate.” 5

he sweeps me up in his arms, the gesture not at

I’ve ever wanted is all of you – my whole life, I’ve been waiting

1. it. And I was an idiot” he continues, his voice breaking, “I hesitated, and I’ll regret it until the day I

denying that all I want – all I’ll ever want is

www

mine, and my body reacts instantly,

arms are around his

as every piece of me – every molecule –

something in me screams to the universe. And god damn it, if I can have him

cracking above us, the rain pouring around us

and ravages my mouth with his

it very well might be. The water

away. But Roger is adamant against it and

it, that I’ve been a fool to run from this. That we can face

ones comes next.

hand is on his face when Roger pulls away from me. “Come

again as he turns back towards the safety of the motel. “I’m

you inside. Now.” Then he shakes his head at me, frustrated,

his insult, tucking my head against his

the sound of the

every step, something about insane women who run naked into storms

because he’s met my sister, and madness is frequently genetic… 1

a little and

Because Roger is about to find out

blowing in the wind, but Roger ignores the rain

he strides through the entrance, kicking the door shut

he moves steadily towards the bed. When we get there he

a little angry

I laugh again – laugh, a little recklessly, as I

Laugh, because he’s so fucking mad at me, and me at him, and

tear him to pieces, and I know he