Accidental Surrogate

I cry out as I’m pulled backwards – surprised more than hurt and suddenly I’m pressed against

him in the pouring rain. Roger holds me tight, one hand around my upper arm, the other wrapped

firmly around me, pressing my body to his

And the feel of him, of his skin hot against my own – my towel is gone, I have no idea where — I

cry harder at the feel of him and rest my forehead against his chest, because I know I can’t have it

– I can’t-

“Cora!” Roger shouts, above the wind and the rain. “What – Cora! What the hell are you doing?!”

“I can’t!” I sob. “I can’t do this, Roger! I can’t be with you like this, not if you’ll….you’ll never love

me! I can’t have you in half measures!” I look up at him then, into his face, realizing the truth of it

in that moment. “I can’t do this if you can’t take me for who I am! Human! Broken! Complicated,

difficult! Confused, and jealous, and mad pretty much all the time! If you can’t take me like that,” I

shout, begging now, “then let me go, Roger! Because I can’t –”

I glance back in the direction of the hotel, my sobbing breaths tearing at my lungs, “I can’t have

half of you. I can’t have – just…. lust. It will kill me! It will break my heart, and I’ll never survive it!”

With the last words I pound my free hand against his chest, my palm slapping wet against his

skin.

Roger stares down at me as I confess everything to him- my whole heart – listening to every

word. And then, when I’m done, when the words stop pouring from my mouth and all that’s left is

my panting breath, he tightens his arms around me, giving me an angry little shake. He clenches

and I can tell that he’s mad

down at me.

sweeps me up in his arms, the gesture not at all sweet or romantic – but possessive,

is all of

1. it. And I was an idiot” he continues, his voice breaking, “I hesitated, and I’ll regret it until the day I

I want – all I’ll ever want is this

www

me, his mouth hard on mine,

against him. My arms are around his neck, pulling

mouth open to him as every piece of me –

Mine, something in me screams to the universe. And

lightening cracking above us, the rain pouring around us

me fervently too him and ravages my mouth with his kisses me like the

around us, which it very well might be. The water rushes around his ankles,

sweep us away. But Roger is adamant against it

a fool to run from this. That we can

comes next.

Roger pulls away from me. “Come

rain. Thunder cracks again as he turns back towards the safety of the motel. “I’m

shakes his head at me, frustrated, and mutters “you idiot.”

fervently, ignoring his insult, tucking my head against his

carry me back to the motel. Barely above the sound of the storm, I hear

with every step, something about insane women who run naked into storms and

met my sister, and madness is frequently genetic…

little and wrapping my arms more tightly around

about to find out precisely how

our motel room is hanging open, blowing in the wind, but

as he strides through the entrance,

steadily towards the

angry and not bothering to be gentle.

– laugh, a little recklessly, as I bounce against

he’s so fucking mad at me, and

to tear him to pieces, and I know he wants to do