Accidental Surrogate

I cry out as I’m pulled backwards – surprised more than hurt and suddenly I’m pressed against

him in the pouring rain. Roger holds me tight, one hand around my upper arm, the other wrapped

firmly around me, pressing my body to his

And the feel of him, of his skin hot against my own – my towel is gone, I have no idea where — I

cry harder at the feel of him and rest my forehead against his chest, because I know I can’t have it

– I can’t-

“Cora!” Roger shouts, above the wind and the rain. “What – Cora! What the hell are you doing?!”

“I can’t!” I sob. “I can’t do this, Roger! I can’t be with you like this, not if you’ll….you’ll never love

me! I can’t have you in half measures!” I look up at him then, into his face, realizing the truth of it

in that moment. “I can’t do this if you can’t take me for who I am! Human! Broken! Complicated,

difficult! Confused, and jealous, and mad pretty much all the time! If you can’t take me like that,” I

shout, begging now, “then let me go, Roger! Because I can’t –”

I glance back in the direction of the hotel, my sobbing breaths tearing at my lungs, “I can’t have

half of you. I can’t have – just…. lust. It will kill me! It will break my heart, and I’ll never survive it!”

With the last words I pound my free hand against his chest, my palm slapping wet against his

skin.

Roger stares down at me as I confess everything to him- my whole heart – listening to every

word. And then, when I’m done, when the words stop pouring from my mouth and all that’s left is

my panting breath, he tightens his arms around me, giving me an angry little shake. He clenches

jaw and I can tell that he’s mad – but I have no

damn it, Cora,” Roger growls, glaring down at me. “You’re my

sweeps me up in his arms, the gesture not at all sweet or romantic – but

is all of you – my

1. it. And I was an idiot” he continues, his voice breaking, “I hesitated, and I’ll regret it until the day I

want – all

www

then he kisses me, his mouth hard on mine, and my body reacts

pressing myself harder against him. My arms are around his

every piece of me – every molecule – gives in.

universe. And god damn it,

lightening cracking above us, the rain pouring around us as Roger

with his kisses me

might be. The water rushes around his ankles,

away. But Roger is adamant against it and something

can weather it, that I’ve been a fool to run from this. That we

ones comes next.

Roger pulls away from me. “Come on,” he growls,

rain. Thunder cracks again as he turns back towards the safety of the

you inside. Now.” Then he shakes his head at me, frustrated, and mutters “you

insult, tucking my head against his shoulder and breathing

the motel. Barely above the

something about insane women

have known better, because he’s met

myself smiling, laughing a little and wrapping my arms more

Because Roger is about to find out

to our motel room is hanging open, blowing

through the entrance,

lock it as he moves steadily towards the bed. When

angry and not bothering to

damn it, but I laugh again – laugh, a little recklessly, as I bounce against

this worn out motel bed. Laugh, because he’s so fucking mad at

mad at ourselves and I want to tear him to pieces, and I know he wants