Accidental Surrogate

Cora

“It’s all right,” Roger says, his eyes going wide as he takes in my pale face, my scared expression and realizes that he’s freaked me out for the third or fourth time today. “It’s not – it’s not bad, I was just kind of a dick – it was a misunderstanding –”

“What?” I ask, more confused now than ever.

–

“Listen,” he says, leaning in towards me. “Just let me tell you, all right? II was going to tell you at some point, definitely not like this but…” he sighs, looking into my face and then down at my stomach, and then back up into my eyes. “I think that… if we’re going to start on this new part

–

–

of our lives – this parent thing – well,” he says, giving me a charming little half–smile and a

shrug. “We should be on the same page, right?”

I nod, agreeing, but looking at him a little askance. “Did you not think that we should…go into our mating? On the same page?”

He sighs and runs a hand through his hair. “It’s a little different, Cora – because it didn’t matter – I didn’t think we could have kids

་་

I frown at him – not mad or angry, but confused…

“Listen, let me just tell it,” he says, leaning forward and looking at me with pleading eyes.

“Okay,” I say, quite simply, taking his hands and leaning even closer to press a kiss to his mouthr letting him know that I’m listening with an open heart.

“Okay,” Roger says again, taking a deep breath before he begins. “Do you remember… when you and Ella went into the desert with her mother, Regina?”

“Reina,” I correct softly, and he laughs.

“Right,” he says, shaking his head. “Those names are so easy to mix up. Anyway – you three were out on your girls trip, and my choice was either to hang out with those priests in the temple, or go back on to the ship all alone.”

Ismirk at him, knowing precisely which one he chose. He sees my smile and laughs a little.

“Yeah,” he says, grinning at me. “I chose solitude. Or at least…I thought I did.”

there someone on the ship?”

at being left behind. Sinclair sent me to protect Ella, and there’s frankly nowhere I wanted to be except

smile when I hear this, but I don’t

at first I thought that I was just crazy or drunk I mean, the captain gave me a little of his whiskey when he saw how upset

focus, and he looks at me again and nods.

says, his voice faltering a little, looking down at our joined hands, “she was there.”

little breathless, but some part of me knowing

now, his eyes wide and still a little startled by the experience. “Your mother, Cora. Except…at the time, I didn’t

– Roger met her, and me, but she had only spoken to Ella beyond a brief introduction

my mother too? And that she only spoke to Ella

disappointed. Why does she want to talk

brushing my cheek with his thumb. “It’s half of why I didn’t want to tell you, Cora,” he continues, his face all sympathy. “I knew that

what did she do?” I ask, pushing past my jealousy and

temple. Instead, it was just…a vision of sorts, more like the baptism but…not quite.” He shakes his head a little, at a loss to explain it. “But her message was

hands again, letting him know that it’s okay. That he can tell me. So Roger turns back to me and looks at me directly, not holding anything back.

and you have to realize, that that was devastating to hear

on nothing else but his words.

he twists his mouth a little, concentrating. “It’s hard to know how to phrase it – because it wasn’t precisely words –

having children, and being a dad, and raising my

with surprise. And then I lean forward, finally getting it. “Oh, so you stopped calling

hands tightly. “And it fucking broke my heart

при

7

I didn’t even care about kids – didn’t even

–

always Dominic who was dying to

say again, my eyes going wide.

me to be. I want –” He pauses

want this child, Cora” he tells me, pausing to ensure that I hear him, “and I can’t wait to build a

–

I’m kind of in the same boat – I was likewise unsure

nothing else I wanted in the world.

whisper, “because you thought…my mom

–

goddess tells you to do something you