Accidental Surrogate

Cora

“It’s all right,” Roger says, his eyes going wide as he takes in my pale face, my scared expression and realizes that he’s freaked me out for the third or fourth time today. “It’s not – it’s not bad, I was just kind of a dick – it was a misunderstanding –”

“What?” I ask, more confused now than ever.

–

“Listen,” he says, leaning in towards me. “Just let me tell you, all right? II was going to tell you at some point, definitely not like this but…” he sighs, looking into my face and then down at my stomach, and then back up into my eyes. “I think that… if we’re going to start on this new part

–

–

of our lives – this parent thing – well,” he says, giving me a charming little half–smile and a

shrug. “We should be on the same page, right?”

I nod, agreeing, but looking at him a little askance. “Did you not think that we should…go into our mating? On the same page?”

He sighs and runs a hand through his hair. “It’s a little different, Cora – because it didn’t matter – I didn’t think we could have kids

་་

I frown at him – not mad or angry, but confused…

“Listen, let me just tell it,” he says, leaning forward and looking at me with pleading eyes.

“Okay,” I say, quite simply, taking his hands and leaning even closer to press a kiss to his mouthr letting him know that I’m listening with an open heart.

“Okay,” Roger says again, taking a deep breath before he begins. “Do you remember… when you and Ella went into the desert with her mother, Regina?”

“Reina,” I correct softly, and he laughs.

“Right,” he says, shaking his head. “Those names are so easy to mix up. Anyway – you three were out on your girls trip, and my choice was either to hang out with those priests in the temple, or go back on to the ship all alone.”

Ismirk at him, knowing precisely which one he chose. He sees my smile and laughs a little.

“Yeah,” he says, grinning at me. “I chose solitude. Or at least…I thought I did.”

the ship?” I

looking out at the desert – honestly, a little pissed off at being left

hear this,

first I thought that I was just crazy or drunk I mean, the captain gave me a little

hands a little, begging him to focus, and

his voice faltering a little, looking down at our joined hands, “she was there.”

I ask, a little breathless, but some part of

by the experience. “Your mother, Cora. Except…at the time, I didn’t know she

that night in the temple with Ella – Roger met her, and me, but she had only spoken to Ella beyond a brief

that she only spoke to Ella in the temple, and then went to Roger later that night

disappointed. Why does she

thumb. “It’s half of why I didn’t want to tell you,

past my jealousy and truly wanting

the distance a little as he continues his story. “She didn’t come in her bodily form,” he says, “like she did in the temple. Instead, it was just…a vision of sorts, more like the baptism

tell me. So Roger turns back to me and looks at me directly,

as my brother’s was – and you have to realize, that that was devastating to hear at the time, considering that we were in a war – and Dominic had

nod, understanding, concentrating on nothing else but his

little, concentrating. “It’s hard to know how to phrase it – because it wasn’t precisely words – but that for the future of the world, I had to

and being a dad,

forward, finally getting

think we could have kids, Cora…” he whispers, clutching my hands tightly. “And it fucking broke my heart to do it

при

7

and before she said anything to me I didn’t even

–

who was dying to be a dad, not me

again, my eyes

Roger murmurs, apologetic, “I’m fucking it all up, Cora – I’m thrilled that you’re pregnant, and not just because the goddess told me to be. I want –” He pauses He

he tells me, pausing to ensure that

–

I really get it. Honestly, I’m kind of in the same boat – I was likewise

wanted in the world.

me,” I whisper, “because you thought…my

–

didn’t want to, but when a goddess tells you to do something you feel compelled to do it – and I thought she was telling me to run from you, when she probably was telling me to run to you