Accidental Surrogate

Cora

“It’s all right,” Roger says, his eyes going wide as he takes in my pale face, my scared expression and realizes that he’s freaked me out for the third or fourth time today. “It’s not – it’s not bad, I was just kind of a dick – it was a misunderstanding –”

“What?” I ask, more confused now than ever.

–

“Listen,” he says, leaning in towards me. “Just let me tell you, all right? II was going to tell you at some point, definitely not like this but…” he sighs, looking into my face and then down at my stomach, and then back up into my eyes. “I think that… if we’re going to start on this new part

–

–

of our lives – this parent thing – well,” he says, giving me a charming little half–smile and a

shrug. “We should be on the same page, right?”

I nod, agreeing, but looking at him a little askance. “Did you not think that we should…go into our mating? On the same page?”

He sighs and runs a hand through his hair. “It’s a little different, Cora – because it didn’t matter – I didn’t think we could have kids

་་

I frown at him – not mad or angry, but confused…

“Listen, let me just tell it,” he says, leaning forward and looking at me with pleading eyes.

“Okay,” I say, quite simply, taking his hands and leaning even closer to press a kiss to his mouthr letting him know that I’m listening with an open heart.

“Okay,” Roger says again, taking a deep breath before he begins. “Do you remember… when you and Ella went into the desert with her mother, Regina?”

“Reina,” I correct softly, and he laughs.

“Right,” he says, shaking his head. “Those names are so easy to mix up. Anyway – you three were out on your girls trip, and my choice was either to hang out with those priests in the temple, or go back on to the ship all alone.”

Ismirk at him, knowing precisely which one he chose. He sees my smile and laughs a little.

“Yeah,” he says, grinning at me. “I chose solitude. Or at least…I thought I did.”

there someone on the ship?” I

he replies. “I was standing at the bow looking out at the desert – honestly, a little pissed off at being left behind. Sinclair sent me to protect Ella, and there’s frankly nowhere I wanted to be except at your side

when I hear this,

staring at the moon, it started to grow…brighter and brighter. And at first I thought that I was just crazy or drunk I mean, the captain gave me a little of his whiskey when he saw how

his hands a little, begging him to focus, and he looks at me again

his voice faltering a little, looking down at our

ask, a little breathless, but some part of me

by the experience. “Your mother,

– Roger met her, and me, but

that she only spoke to Ella in the temple, and then went to Roger later that

a little through my nose, disappointed. Why does

brushing my cheek with his thumb. “It’s half of why I didn’t want

she do?” I ask, pushing past my jealousy and truly wanting to

off into the distance a little as he continues his story. “She didn’t come in her bodily form,” he says, “like she did in the temple. Instead, it was just…a vision of sorts, more like the baptism but…not quite.” He shakes his head a little, at a loss to explain it. “But her

me. So Roger

was – and you have to realize, that that was devastating to hear at the time, considering that we were in a war – and Dominic had just made

nothing else but his

said,” he twists his mouth a little, concentrating. “It’s hard to know how to phrase it – because it wasn’t precisely words – but that for the future of the world, I had to focus

and having children, and being a dad, and raising my kids well

And then I lean forward, finally getting it. “Oh, so you stopped calling me because…”

hands tightly. “And it fucking broke my heart to do it because I loved you

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anything to me I didn’t even care about kids

–

always Dominic who was dying to be a dad, not me

I say again, my

“I’m fucking it all up, Cora – I’m thrilled that you’re pregnant, and not just because the goddess told me to be.

me, pausing to ensure that I hear him, “and I can’t

–

I nod, because I do. I really get it. Honestly, I’m kind of in the same boat – I was likewise unsure if I wanted kids. But the moment

else I wanted in the

me,” I whisper, “because you thought…my mom told you

–

his eyes going wide as he again runs his hand through his hair. “I was totally freaked out I didn’t want to, but when a goddess tells you to do something you feel compelled to do it – and I thought she was telling me to run from you, when she probably was telling me to run to you to take