Accidental Surrogate

It takes a little over two hours, but finally the last of the doctors leaves, the door clicking shut behind them.

“Finally,” Roger sighs, falling back into the linens of the freshly-changed bed.

“Now we just have to get our stupid family to leave and we’ll get some sleep – ” “Excuse me,” I say, glaring over at him. “If you think you’re tired -” “Fine fine,” he sighs, turning his head to grin at me. “You’re right. What can I get you, my love? Do you want anything?” The doctor officially gave me and Jesse a clean bill of health after I delivered the placenta and Jesse had his first feeding and full check-up. It was, of course, a relief to have everything turn out right and relatively easy -especially in comparison to Ella’s experiences – but now that they’re all gone?

Honestly, it all feels very real.

Like now I have to be a mom, and Roger has to be a dadall by ourselves.

“I don’t know,” I say, laughing a little and looking between Roger and our little baby. “Honestly, it’s all kind of weird, isn’t it? All of this fuss and then they just… leave you alone with a baby. To do what you will.” “I know,” he says, looking at me with wide eyes. “I’m glad you know what to do.

I’m totally lost.” “I don’t know what to do!” I protest, laughing and shaking my head.

“What!?” he breaths, sitting up sharply.

“I’m just a doctor, Roger!” I say, laughing harder now and feeling a little hysterical as well as exhausted. “People come to me pregnant, but then I send the babies home with them! I don’t know what to do with a kid – that’s Ella’s department.” “Well then,” he says, looking anxiously towards the door. “I take back my previous words. Ella has to stay – for like, ever.” “Or at least until this kid is six -” “Can we push to seven?” Roger asks, looking at me with real anxiety that just makes me laugh harder.

There’s a little knock on the door but suddenly Roger and I are laughing too hard to answer it. It cracks open anyway and Ella again peeks her head in.

“I thought I heard the hysteria of new parents,” she says, shaking her head at us and smiling as she comes into the room. “Are you totally freaking out?” “Full meltdown,” Roger says, wiping a tear of mirth from his eyes. “What are we supposed to like…do with him?” he asks, gesturing to the baby as Sinclair comes in after Ella, shutting the door and grinning at us. Rafe fusses, starting to blink awake in Sinclair’s arms.

down at Rafe who yawns and looks around at us sleepily, a little confused. “They sleep a lot their first couple of weeks.

inept, I still like him.” “I didn’t say

of our eyes turn to him as his own gaze fastens on

he

coos, leaning forward so that Rafe

his face very curious. Rafe lets out another little squeak, more demanding this time, and reaches out his hands

is Jesse,” Ella says, laughing a little as she beams at her own baby. ” He’s your new cousin! And I think you’re going

other.” “Oh,” I scold, giving him a light smack on the chest. “They will. Besides, shut up, I want to watch this…”

them down,” Ella says softly, her voice a little

says, almost beyond herself, as if

if Ella is. I don’t

lays him out on the blankets, and

usually rambunctious Rafe stays very, very still for a moment as he stares at his cousin. And then he begins to turn, and almost gently reaches for Jesse – And the moment they touch, when Rafe’s fingers brush against Jesse’s cheek, and Jesse’s little eyes flutter open – All four of us parents take a sharp

all feel it – each

a spilt second and then all of our eyes dart back to our kids, who are still

to his new cousin, who just sighs and closes

my god…” Ella says, her hands going to her mouth for a split second before she reaches down and gathers Jesse back up into her arms. ”

felt that.” “What was it?” I breathe, fascinated and confused but…not at