Accidental Surrogate

It takes a little over two hours, but finally the last of the doctors leaves, the door clicking shut behind them.

“Finally,” Roger sighs, falling back into the linens of the freshly-changed bed.

“Now we just have to get our stupid family to leave and we’ll get some sleep – ” “Excuse me,” I say, glaring over at him. “If you think you’re tired -” “Fine fine,” he sighs, turning his head to grin at me. “You’re right. What can I get you, my love? Do you want anything?” The doctor officially gave me and Jesse a clean bill of health after I delivered the placenta and Jesse had his first feeding and full check-up. It was, of course, a relief to have everything turn out right and relatively easy -especially in comparison to Ella’s experiences – but now that they’re all gone?

Honestly, it all feels very real.

Like now I have to be a mom, and Roger has to be a dadall by ourselves.

“I don’t know,” I say, laughing a little and looking between Roger and our little baby. “Honestly, it’s all kind of weird, isn’t it? All of this fuss and then they just… leave you alone with a baby. To do what you will.” “I know,” he says, looking at me with wide eyes. “I’m glad you know what to do.

I’m totally lost.” “I don’t know what to do!” I protest, laughing and shaking my head.

“What!?” he breaths, sitting up sharply.

“I’m just a doctor, Roger!” I say, laughing harder now and feeling a little hysterical as well as exhausted. “People come to me pregnant, but then I send the babies home with them! I don’t know what to do with a kid – that’s Ella’s department.” “Well then,” he says, looking anxiously towards the door. “I take back my previous words. Ella has to stay – for like, ever.” “Or at least until this kid is six -” “Can we push to seven?” Roger asks, looking at me with real anxiety that just makes me laugh harder.

There’s a little knock on the door but suddenly Roger and I are laughing too hard to answer it. It cracks open anyway and Ella again peeks her head in.

“I thought I heard the hysteria of new parents,” she says, shaking her head at us and smiling as she comes into the room. “Are you totally freaking out?” “Full meltdown,” Roger says, wiping a tear of mirth from his eyes. “What are we supposed to like…do with him?” he asks, gesturing to the baby as Sinclair comes in after Ella, shutting the door and grinning at us. Rafe fusses, starting to blink awake in Sinclair’s arms.

folds her legs beneath her on the bed and Sinclair pulls a chair up to the bedside, completing our little group of six. “The rest…we’re going to need some help.” “It’s not so hard,” Sinclair says kindly, smiling down at Rafe who yawns and looks around at us sleepily, a little confused. “They sleep a lot their first couple of weeks. And then, after that, they find ways to tell you what they want.” “Maybe we should trade,” Roger says, looking dubiously between Rafe and Jesse.

didn’t say I

our eyes turn to him as his own gaze fastens on

mean, he honestly

the baby, Rafe?” Ella coos, leaning forward so that Rafe can meet Jesse face-to-face for

nephew really does lean forward to see Jesse, his face very curious. Rafe lets out another little squeak, more demanding this time, and reaches out

with a fascinated and pleased expression. “He really does want to go to him!” “This is Jesse,” Ella says, laughing a little as

inconvenient if they don’t like each other.” “Oh,” I scold, giving him a light smack on the chest. “They will. Besides, shut up, I want to watch this…” And the two of us

says softly, her voice a little awed, “next to

herself,

Sinclair looks at me and Roger and I just shrug, fine with it if Ella is. I don’t see Roger’s response, but I don’t

so Sinclair gently flips Rafe on his back and lays him out on the blankets, and Ella very gently, very tentatively places Jesse next

begins to turn, and almost gently reaches for Jesse – And the moment they touch, when Rafe’s fingers brush against Jesse’s cheek, and Jesse’s little eyes flutter open – All four of

it –

then all of our eyes dart back to our kids, who are still touching,

a little, saying hello to his new cousin, who just sighs and closes his eyes

god…” Ella says, her hands going to her mouth for a split second before she reaches down and gathers Jesse back up into her arms. ” Did you guys…” “Um, yeah,” Roger says, and I

that.” “What was it?”