Alpha Asher By Jane Doe

Chapter 230

There was nothing in his eyes but agony. Not a hint of recognition or understanding, only pain so intense that it rendered me speechless.

Asher’s memories still lingered in my vision, imprinted on the back of my eyelids every time I blinked. Sean’s face covered in blood, the way grandma stared at Asher, seeing so clearly that it wasn’t him behind those golden eyes, hearing Asher’s screams- the way every bit of ferocity and strength left him when he realized what he'd done.

All of it was too much, too overwhelming, but my reason for staying strong was right here, inches away and crumbling to dust in my hands.

Tears streamed down Asher’s face, down his cheeks where they trickled off his jaw, tickling my wrists from where I cradled his head. I curled into his chest, holding his empty stare with every sob he held back.

His pain and guilt were a sandstorm that tore into me, scraping away at my skin, but no matter how badly I wanted to cry out and shield myself, I held back. I’d take the pain and weather it if it meant he’d survive.

“How am I supposed to live with what I’ve done? How do you ask forgiveness for something like that?” Asher asked in a raspy voice.

Before I could reply, there was a loud crash from downstairs. Some small, selfish part of me was the tiniest bit relieved because in truth, I had no clue what to tell my mate. I could only tell him I didn’t blame him so many times. Even then, words did nothing to erase the kind of pain he was enduring.

It filled my body with an icy, numbing fear that grew exponentially worse when I heard thunderous footsteps, followed by my dad's voice.

“Where is he?!” Dad bellowed. “Where is the man that killed my son?”

The blood drained from my face. “Let me talk to him. He'll understand, Asher. I know he will.” I urged, hoping just this once he’d listen to me.

Asher shook his head and stood, swiping at his face angrily though his eyes were still glossy, and the evidence still shimmered on his cheeks. When he squared his broad shoulders, I caught a glimpse of his sheer strength and knew he hadn't lost it the way he believed.

“No, I won't hide from what I’ve done. It doesn’t matter if it wasn’t me. I’m the reason the blood witch can do the spell to enslave you. My body was the weapon that killed him-that killed the others.” He said quietly, exiting the bedroom and leaving me to scramble to catch up.

I clipped my shoulder on the corner as I raced down the hall, nearly tumbling headfirst down the stairs to catch up to Asher. My muscles turned to lead the moment we stepped into the living room, rooting me in place under my dad’s intense stare.

He hadn't changed since I last saw him at the hospital. If anything, he looked worse. His eyes were bloodshot, his face tense and marred with dark circles of exhaustion. Tristan and Giovanni surrounded him, speaking in low voices that he didn’t appear to be hearing. The others: Breyona, Holly, Mason, and Clara, stood off to the side. Flora hovered behind my father, and as our eyes met, I read the warning in them loud and clear.

He wasn’t okay, and there was no promise that he ever would be.

“Let him go.” Asher said to Giovanni and Tristan.

The two Vampire's reluctantly stepped away but remained close by. Tristan looked my way, a question burning in his eyes. I nodded ever so slightly, assuming he was asking if I was on board with all of this.

I wasn't, not exactly, but Asher needed this confrontation. My only hope was that it didn’t break him-that it didn’t break them both.

As Asher and my dad stared at one another, I realized both men looked irreparably broken. The light in their eyes was fractured, letting pain bleed through the cracks.

Neither one looked as strong as they once had. Not Asher, who was an Alpha known for his ferocity, and not my dad, who had fought on countless battlefields and ended hundreds of lives.

Two of the most important men in my life were nothing more than mere shadows of themselves.

Asher broke the silence first.

“I accept whatever punishment you see fit to give me.” He rasped, and I swore I wasn't the only one in the room to stiffen. The silence was deafening, as were the stares I exchanged with Breyona and Mason. Asher didn't so much as look our way when he said with dark conviction, “No one will stop you.”

air from my lungs until

I whispered, but my warning

chest, the gaping hole in it weeping with bloodstained tears. Asher didn’t move, didn’t

us, not even myself, could have

going to lay into Asher, he did the opposite. Grabbing him by

He was hugging him.

last long, though. How could it when both of them were irreparably broken

Asher donned split in two when my dad’s shoulders trembled in a poorly suppressed sob. Slowly, with a tentativeness I’d never seen him show before, Asher hugged my

silence, the hole in my chest torn open, as my mate and

in the room, not even from the two Vampire’s watching nearby. It took every crumb of strength in my wounded soul not to break down, but as I watched the men

this battle, life would

would never be

Perhaps the darkness whispering in my veins helped motivate me to make a decision, but it was Asher and my

heinous I didn’t dare speak the words aloud, was our only

was one set of eyes that wasn’t on the two men crying

I was looking into a mirror. I turned away to give Asher and my dad but all

knows what I’m

kitchen while Asher and dad slipped outside. My nerves were raw without him close by, but he needed this. They both did. I picked at the edge of the blood bag I was currently drinking from, mulling over how the hell

the blood bag. I looked up, instantly

back the guilt of what I planned to do, I slipped into the living room. My ass had just hit the couch when Cassidy's voice

there, Lola?’ She asked over mind-link, her voice

to reply, pulling from the blood

but not my hands-not where the darkness stained my skin. That part of me

heard what happened.’ Cassidy's voice lowered to a broken whisper. ‘I'm

bit back a sigh. ‘He's as well as can

sound good.'

None of this is good.’ I replied, swallowing the scrap of irritation

anger festering inside of me, anger reserved for one person alone. There was a crash through the mind- link, followed by a burst of obnoxious laughter and the heavy

the contempt in my voice. ‘Are you really at

came quickly, with just a hint of defensiveness to it. ‘Look, I’m not one to admit when I’m wrong, because usually I'm never wrong...but I

was right about what?’

to Brandon.’ She whispered reluctantly. ‘I've gone to every college party within a two-hundred- mile radius, and believe me, it's a lot

deadpanned, cutting her

of freaking the hell out.’ She sputtered. ‘Anyway, I've gone to over a dozen parties and Brandon isn't at any

any possibility he went to that safe haven

why he would've. There’s no reason for him to be there, but I suppose it's always a possibility.’ I frowned, glancing towards the back door where I could see the silhouettes of Asher and my dad

can go there and check if you want. I'm wasting time searching these damn parties and as much as I could use a drink or twelve, I'm too wound up to consider

about it and I'll get back to you, okay?’ I lied,

Yeah, that's fine. Just don’t

I said quickly,

wasn't that I

he was still Asher’s brother. He mattered, he really did,