Alpha Asher By Jane Doe

Chapter 230

There was nothing in his eyes but agony. Not a hint of recognition or understanding, only pain so intense that it rendered me speechless.

Asher’s memories still lingered in my vision, imprinted on the back of my eyelids every time I blinked. Sean’s face covered in blood, the way grandma stared at Asher, seeing so clearly that it wasn’t him behind those golden eyes, hearing Asher’s screams- the way every bit of ferocity and strength left him when he realized what he'd done.

All of it was too much, too overwhelming, but my reason for staying strong was right here, inches away and crumbling to dust in my hands.

Tears streamed down Asher’s face, down his cheeks where they trickled off his jaw, tickling my wrists from where I cradled his head. I curled into his chest, holding his empty stare with every sob he held back.

His pain and guilt were a sandstorm that tore into me, scraping away at my skin, but no matter how badly I wanted to cry out and shield myself, I held back. I’d take the pain and weather it if it meant he’d survive.

“How am I supposed to live with what I’ve done? How do you ask forgiveness for something like that?” Asher asked in a raspy voice.

Before I could reply, there was a loud crash from downstairs. Some small, selfish part of me was the tiniest bit relieved because in truth, I had no clue what to tell my mate. I could only tell him I didn’t blame him so many times. Even then, words did nothing to erase the kind of pain he was enduring.

It filled my body with an icy, numbing fear that grew exponentially worse when I heard thunderous footsteps, followed by my dad's voice.

“Where is he?!” Dad bellowed. “Where is the man that killed my son?”

The blood drained from my face. “Let me talk to him. He'll understand, Asher. I know he will.” I urged, hoping just this once he’d listen to me.

Asher shook his head and stood, swiping at his face angrily though his eyes were still glossy, and the evidence still shimmered on his cheeks. When he squared his broad shoulders, I caught a glimpse of his sheer strength and knew he hadn't lost it the way he believed.

“No, I won't hide from what I’ve done. It doesn’t matter if it wasn’t me. I’m the reason the blood witch can do the spell to enslave you. My body was the weapon that killed him-that killed the others.” He said quietly, exiting the bedroom and leaving me to scramble to catch up.

I clipped my shoulder on the corner as I raced down the hall, nearly tumbling headfirst down the stairs to catch up to Asher. My muscles turned to lead the moment we stepped into the living room, rooting me in place under my dad’s intense stare.

He hadn't changed since I last saw him at the hospital. If anything, he looked worse. His eyes were bloodshot, his face tense and marred with dark circles of exhaustion. Tristan and Giovanni surrounded him, speaking in low voices that he didn’t appear to be hearing. The others: Breyona, Holly, Mason, and Clara, stood off to the side. Flora hovered behind my father, and as our eyes met, I read the warning in them loud and clear.

He wasn’t okay, and there was no promise that he ever would be.

“Let him go.” Asher said to Giovanni and Tristan.

The two Vampire's reluctantly stepped away but remained close by. Tristan looked my way, a question burning in his eyes. I nodded ever so slightly, assuming he was asking if I was on board with all of this.

I wasn't, not exactly, but Asher needed this confrontation. My only hope was that it didn’t break him-that it didn’t break them both.

As Asher and my dad stared at one another, I realized both men looked irreparably broken. The light in their eyes was fractured, letting pain bleed through the cracks.

Neither one looked as strong as they once had. Not Asher, who was an Alpha known for his ferocity, and not my dad, who had fought on countless battlefields and ended hundreds of lives.

Two of the most important men in my life were nothing more than mere shadows of themselves.

Asher broke the silence first.

“I accept whatever punishment you see fit to give me.” He rasped, and I swore I wasn't the only one in the room to stiffen. The silence was deafening, as were the stares I exchanged with Breyona and Mason. Asher didn't so much as look our way when he said with dark conviction, “No one will stop you.”

the air from my lungs

don't-” I whispered, but my warning was cut

my chest, the gaping hole in it weeping with bloodstained tears. Asher didn’t move, didn’t so

us, not even myself, could have anticipated

he did the

He was hugging him.

body going stiff, harder than granite. It didn’t last long, though. How could it when both of them were irreparably broken in the same way?

dad’s shoulders trembled in a poorly suppressed sob. Slowly, with a tentativeness I’d never seen him show before, Asher hugged my

chest torn

of strength in my wounded soul not to break down, but as I watched the men I loved reduced to tears by their guilt and

battle, life would never be the

never be

to do. Perhaps the darkness whispering in my veins helped motivate me to make

was our only hope to fix the damage the blood witch had brought to all

had assumed I hid my thoughts well, but there was one set of eyes that wasn’t on

looking into a

knows what I’m

this. They both did. I picked at the edge of the blood bag I was currently drinking from, mulling over

sloshing in the blood

do, I slipped into the living room. My ass had just hit the couch when Cassidy's voice popped into my

there, Lola?’ She asked over mind-link, her voice

reply, pulling from the blood

my hands-not where the darkness stained

Cassidy's voice lowered to a broken whisper. ‘I'm so

bit back a sigh. ‘He's as well as

doesn’t sound good.'

swallowing the scrap of irritation that crawled beneath my

throat, but what good would it do to rage at Cassidy? It wouldn't take away this anger festering inside of me, anger reserved for one person alone. There was a crash through the mind- link,

grimaced, not at all hiding the contempt in my voice. ‘Are you really at a party right now,

of defensiveness to it. ‘Look, I’m not one to admit when I’m wrong, because usually

was right

to every college party within a two-hundred- mile radius, and believe me, it's a lot of fucking parties. Do

I deadpanned, cutting her rant

ramble when I’m on the verge of freaking the hell out.’ She sputtered. ‘Anyway, I've gone to over a dozen parties and Brandon isn't at

you think there's any possibility he went to that safe haven you and Asher have

it's always a possibility.’ I frowned, glancing

as much as I could use a drink or twelve, I'm too wound up to

talk to Asher about it and I'll get back to you, okay?’ I lied,

not at all suspicious. Yeah, that's fine. Just don’t forget, please. I'm seriously

said quickly, then

that I didn’t

Asher’s brother. He mattered, he really did, but