Chapter 122- Ella’s Past Part 2

Trigger Warning: This chapter contains experiences of abuse and sexual assault – nothing explicit, but please take care reading!

Sinclair

Don’t shift, don’t shift, don’t shift. I think manically. Ella needs you.

Listening to Ella recount her childhood always makes me furious, but this time is worse than all the others. I’ve suspected that Ella suffered terrible traumas for some time now, but before this night I’d been able to pacify my outrage with the hope that I’m wrong.

No longer.

As Ella speaks, I wonder how she could ever imagine herself weak. I can’t even stand to listen to her story, but she actually lived it. She sacrificed herself for her sister, and she survived things I can only imagine.

“When the matron realized it was me, she smiled so cruelly that my stomach turned – she was only too glad to take me instead of Cora.” Ella continues, shuddering with the memory. Her unease gives my wolf the push he needed to put aside his own rage and comfort her. I finally manage a weak purr, and Ella presses her nose to my chest, breathing in my scent.

didn’t like or understand. She made me touch her too, and she never stopped talking. She told me how pretty I was over and over, and kept asking me if I liked it. I said no, but she just insisted that this was a special, secret game I was lucky to play. She said everything I was feeling might be confusing, but it was good and right and natural. She said it took practice, but that we’d have plenty of time… Afterwards she took me back to the dorm with a reminder not to share our secret. Cora asked me what happened but

about my body, the doctor was the one who could help. There was no such thing as sex ed at the orphanage and no one else ever talked to us about our bodies. At first

us, so I know she isn’t cold – and I know the worst isn’t over yet. “He took off my

I have these nifty straps to help you.’ He pulled out restraints from under the table and strapped me down… and then he asked me exactly what the matron did, and when I explained he would touch me exactly how she had, saying ‘like

out what he was about, and I didn’t want to answer his questions anymore, but if I didn’t speak he would start guessing more and more abuses, always demonstrating them on my body. They were far worse than anything she’d done… So I answered… I told him how to hurt me.” Ella is interrupted by my ferocious snarl, and she looks up at me for the first time since she started speaking. Her eyes are overflowing, but she offers me a

young to understand why they did those things, but I knew how it made me feel: guilty, tainted, defiled… I never wanted

could hurt her. Of course,

wouldn’t be touched… I figured I couldn’t be ruined more than I already was, and it was better than allowing someone else to be destroyed.” Ella shares, confirming my fears but also magnifying my despair by explaining her logic. “The matron came almost every night… and the doctor would call me in for check

was different. He was a true sadist; he loved my fear, loved my pain. And he escalated over time…” Ella hides her face in my neck as she concludes her horrible tale. “When I was twelve he raped me, and that’s when Cora and I ran away. I invited the other girls to run with us, but most were more afraid of living on the

her story is complete. There are tears in

the first winter, but eventually the police found us squatting in an abandoned building and returned us to the orphanage. When we got back they had both been fired. Apparently a state inspection was run and the entire staff was booted out. The new regime wasn’t much better, so we kept running away in the summers, but it was safe enough to return each winter… I have no idea where

gorier revenges than I am, particularly for the doctor. We’ll just see how he likes being tied up and gagged. How much he enjoys pain

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