Alpha Dom and His Human Surrogate

Chapter 190

Ella

When I return to the present, the room is completely silent. Henry is still holding my hand, though he also holds a bucket in case I need te be sick. Leon is watching mę closely, as if trying to decipher my mental state. Gabriel, Phil!ppe and Roger look on from the doorway in a horrified hush. I hadn’t been wild about having them here with me during such a vulnerable time, but in the end we agreed that we needed as many brains on the case as possible. Besides, I’m discovering that I don’t really mind having so many friends on hand this really is a strange new world for me.

“Do you want me to bring you out of the ether, Ella?” Leon finally asks, and I realize that he hadn’t been forced to give me the antidote this time. I’m still floating along under the influence of the drug, still in the safe embrace of the high despite the horrible things I’ve just remembered. I’m not feeling yet, not processing, and I don’t think I want I shake my” updated by jobnib.com” head in refusal, moving my hand to my belly. The baby reaches out to me through our bond, uncertain and afraid. Had he understood my fear, my helplessness? Or did all he know was that I was suffering? “Can I have something nice?” I request, not truly knowing what I want or need. “

Something for the baby?”

“I have just the thing,” Henry replies, pulling out his phone. He presses a b.utton, and then the sound of Sinclair’s purrs fills the air. I forgot I’d sent him the recording my mate provided earlier today, but now I’m beyond glad of it. Rafe and I instantly calm, and though longing for Sinclair tugs viciously at my heart, I sink deeper into the plush sofa and try to lose myself in the cozy sound.

“Anything else?” Henry inquires, stroking my hair.

“Do we have any popsicles?”I sniffle, and for the first time I realize my cheeks are soaked with tears. For a moment I revel in the sensation of the salty moisture on my skin, of the burning in my eyes. Everything seems so different in this state, and I could spend hours exploring the feelings – if only I didn’t have to dig into my past as well.

“IIl check the kitchens, and if they’re out I’ll get some.” Roger promises, slipping out of the room.

“Let’s talk about what just happened.” Leon suggests once I’ve relaxed. Of course, this is the last thing I want to do, now that the memory is over I want to leave it in the past where it belongs

“Do we have to?” I inquire in a small voice, trying to disappear into the couch. Stupid sofa, my wolf thìnks, I want my nest, why do we keep doing this here? It’s all lumpy and there aren’t nearly enough pìllows Where am I supposed to be now?

“1 thìink we should.” Leon answers gently. interrupting my inner animal. “We didn’t talk about our last session because it was so distressing, but you seem to be steadier now.” He pauses, and when l don’t respond he continues. “I know you’re only doing this to find answers for the war, but my job isn’t the answers, Ella – it’s not even the war. My job is your mental health, it’s helping you understand and deal with the things we discover in a productive way.”

on my tummy. The speaker thumps against my baby bump, the volume growing louder for my pup

mother.” Henry warns me, in that paternal voice that both warms my soul and

been doing fine without this warlock’s

argue instead, and I hear Gabriel smother a snort

tell him. My wolf encourages. Nosey

him with no more than his little finger if

my insult. “Just because you didn’t remember

more concerned with finding out who these priests

“Did you know you were capable of such violence

have ice in my veins. I did k!ll those men. I took their lives without a second thought, and with no remorse. They’d deserved it.. hadn’t they? They were going to hurt me, r*pe me, sell me like chattel… but that doesn’t change the fact that I murdered them. It’s because of

them? Children I rendered fatherless – no! Stop this, it won’t

won’t change the past.” I insist.

It’s done.

protect yourself, or because you were trying to protect the people you love?” Leon presses, and my frustration grows. “If it were me I think I’d feel very angry with those priests for taking my magic from me, for standing by and just watching as those men

Still, I lash my anger at him, rather than acknowledging the truth of his words “They assaulted me, the priests took my wolf. Stop presuming to know how

me how you feel,

the glorious crinkling of a popsicle wrapper. I accept the cold sweet eagerly, rejoicing as the flavors explode on my tongue. “Oh my goddess, this is the best thing I’ve ever tasted.” I know it’s the ether talking, but even that awareness slips away a minute later when neon-colored visions of frOZen desserts appear on the ceiling above my head. While I get lost in the hallucination, I hear the others

if this is going to turn into a true therapy session then the rest of us probably shouldn’t be here. As you said. that’s not really why

only to cut out and leave them to deal with it on their own. It would be like a doctor performing

understand.” The King agrees, “And you’re right,

I have to admit I worry what might happen if you start digging into all this when she’s under so much stress as it

is already done.” Leon corrects him