Chapter 197

Ella

I pace back and forth outside Gabriel’s chambers, absolutely beside myself over Phil!ppe’s fate. I have the worst feeling that Sinclair is going to fire or demote the guard because of my actions, and I’m already preparing a furious speech to deliver to my mate if he does so. I can’t hear a single word of their conversation because the King’s chambers are soundproofed – a luxury I decide Sinclair and I should definitely invest in when we return home.

The waiting is horrible, but eventually my faithful guard emerges, looking thoroughly dejected. I can’t stop myself from racing up to him with man energy. “Did he demote you? Is he still on the call –I’ll talk to him-“

“Woah,” He catches me by the shoulders. “It’s okay, Ella. He didn’t demote me, he just did a lot of yelling”

“Im so sorry.” I profess wringing my hands.

“Don’t be.” Phil!ppe says evenly, staring me straight in the eye so I can see the honesty in his expression. “You were right. Being someone’s guard is a really intimate relationship. You have to trust me with your very life, with all your secrets

He sighs, shaking his head. “Most people get to choose their guards but you didn’t pick me, you didn’t even know who I was when Dominic a.ssigned me to you.”

“So?” I protest, still feeling indignant on his behalf.

“So it’s right that I should have to prove myself to you.” He chuckles. “Trust has to be earned.”

Phil!ppe pauses, giving me an assessing look. “But I have to tell you that if it had gone on much longer. I don’t think I could’ve kept it up.. part of protecting you means looking out for your health and well-being even when you don’t want me to do it. You weren’t doing well and I’m glad Dominic got through to you. I don’t want to be in that position again.”

reply contritely. “And Ill try to do better.” I promise, wondering if my sudden urge to explain myself is actually to help him understand, or to make myself feel better. I have a terrible sense that it’s the latter, but I forge ahead anyway as we begin walking down the

last few months have gone by in such a whirlwind. My entire life is different now and I’m still struggling to catch

ago I was alone in the World. I had my sister and no one else. And now I’m à wolf and I’m going to be a mother, and I have a mate and a pack, and I’m in charge of a world I didn’t know existed, and I’m in the middle of a war, and I

I find Phil!ppe watching me closely. He leans back on his heels, pursing his l!ps. “Is that part of why

even sure about all the words I just blurted

any of us… I mean we all realized you’d been left with the humans and that the Goddess was involved, but I think maybe we were so distracted by how amazing it

eyes widen, and suddenly I feel very vulnerable. I wrap my arms around

in the orphanage for our safety. But they left us together so we wouldn’t have to be alone.” I smile at the bittersweet memory. “But we grew up… and we realized that we just weren’t wanted. We weren’t any more special than any of the abandoned

part of it.” I confess. “Ive been saying I have to find out where I came from – which is true. But in my brain finding out where I came from is one

was eight, I feel

“It’s funny the things that can motivate us without us even realizing it.”

why therapy is

gr0an, thinking

“Not you too!”

self defense, “hey, I’m just following

I deride, throwing my arms up. “That’s what they

back in the sitting room with Leon, Henry,

Leon and me in private for the therapy session following today’s ether trip – a fact the therapist was only too smug about- but for now they’ve all

don’t need any guidance from Leon to travel into the past. As soon as the walls come down in my mind, I’m taken even farther into my memories

six years old, and for the first time ever, I have a

I find it hard to take in

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