Bad Love An Alpha’s Regret

Chapter 285
EMILY
I can’t escape the vague feeling of panic that’s been lodged in my chest ever since James and that bi ch Leah found me in the remote cabin.
It feels like any second now, someone is going to grab me and force me back into captivity.
And I think part of me would welcome that.
At least it’s familiar.
At least I know what to expect when I’m being held.
There are rules and I follow them if I want my life to be easy and pain free.
But now that I’ve been released, there are no rules.
Or, at least not the same rules.
I’m just free and there’s something slightly terrifying about it.
It’s easier to be in wolf form.
My wolt acts on instinct. She sees the world in more simple absolutes.
She can ignore the human anxieties and questions of what my life is even supposed to look like now.
She can ignore the question of how I’m going to hide the truth. from the rest of the pack.

My captivity changed me in so many ways, I can’t even remember the girl I used to be before the old Roberts Alpha captured me.
However, the changes aren’t just emotional or psychological.
The truth is, Liam and his father experimented on me in ways I don’t even understand.
They had a plan for Roberts pack.
To become the strongest, fastest, most deadly pack.
A pack that could easily decimate any other pack, or even the Council should they decide to act against them.
And I was the lab rat for their hideous research and testing.
I know if anyone finds out, I’ll be immediately kicked out of the
executed immediately.
They’ll be as disgusted with me as I am with myself.
I can feel the lure of going rogue teasing around the edges of my consciousness.
It would be so easy to give in. To push into my wolf consciousness so completely that the shift becomes
permanent. It wouldn’t be so bad. The lands here are so open. I could sleep beneath the stars, maybe even merge into a wild wolf pack eventually.
Except if I let that happen, I’m frightened of what I might do.
Because I’m dangerous.
I am absolutely terrified of myself.
So I shift and run, trying to forget.
The problem is, I can’t outrun myself.
I’ve found the place in the forest where Jessica, James, Aaron and I used to play when we were kids.
It’s this clearing next to a stream.
Right now, it’s under a layer of snow, but in the spring, the
ground is carpeted with sweet grasses and wildflowers, and the stream flows faster, tumbling over rocks as the ice melt washes down from the mountain.
During the summers, we used to swim and fish in the stream, staying out late into the night after the sun went down, listening to the chatter or frogs and insects as a wide sky of impossibly bright stars dusted the inky sky above us.
My chest hurts, and I wish more than anything I could go back to those days.
That I could somehow travel back in time and avoid what happened to me.