Barely Breathing

The cold wind in its morning routine, brushes my skin, blending well with my cold and tormented heart. The grass felt smooth under my feet, yet gives no comfort. The forest that once been a haven, seems to taunt me, reminding me that I now belong to its alpha.

I didn't look back. No, I would not dare. I kept a hold of myself, now is not the time to be messed up with unwanted emotions. And, looking back would break the resolve I made.

I ran half-heartedly and went deeper into the forest. Ever so careful not to be caught by lookouts. Patrols are on guard even in daylight.

I can't stay anymore. Xyrus left me with no choice. He knew from the very beginning that I don't want to be chosen yet he can't understand. He wouldn't. He's forcing me to things I despise the most.

He is awakening some emotions within me that I so hardly buried deeper in my consciousness. Memories that had been dormant in the back of my mind for years. And with his doings, he is opening a wound bound to never heal.

I felt the fragments of the past traitorously played in my mind. I tried to stop it but of no use.

(Flashback 5 years ago)

I gazed at the man in front of me and forced the tears to not fall. For years, he had been a stranger but for this moment, he decided to be my father, again.

His dark, tired eyes that mirror a decade of sorrow held me captivated as he lovingly gazed at me. I feel like a daughter again and it somehow made a bitter smile crept on my lips.

His once built physique was replaced by a feeble appearance, though I believed he was much stronger than he looks. He held me by the shoulder and made me looked at him. His eyes have that spark of determination.

"Listen to me Willow, do you remember the song your mother and I sing when you were a child?" His voice strained.

The mention of my mother made another stab in my heart. I might be only thirteen but I know what was going on and what was about to happen. Tears blurred my vision as I nodded my head.

"Good. I want you to sing it with me. You know how it works. "

"Papa…I…"

He kissed my head and lingered there for a moment. I felt something wet rolled on the side of my face. He was crying. My papa was crying.

had kept it all to himself.

 shirt, savoring the fatherly care I

forgive

then, he let me go. I didn't look up at him, I don't want to see the pain in his eyes. Slowly in a whisper tone, he started to sing the song I knew by heart. How much I had wished so many times

wolf come

Little Willow hum around,"

All I want to do was to hug Papa and feel

"Twisting toes,

Swirling fun,"

be strong,

count

Let's take a run,"

to sing along with him, the last chance I might have. My voice breaking as I readied myself for what I ought to

The wind whispered

hold on my shoulder tightening

more

around, me facing the endless

Roaring wolf make it one.

dashed into the endless forest, but this time Papa and Mama aren't just running around

Those were the words I kept repeating in my head yet I can't stop my

(end of flashback)

bottom lip to stop the tears until I tasted blood. A bittersweet memory I can never forget easily, even the pain wasn't

Xyrus the one thing my father fight for with his life was my freedom. And he, claiming me would make it all go to waste. I am not yet ready to tell him my secrets, my wounds, and my story. But I wish I could tell him…someday. I wonder what the moon goddess

finally nearing the border and a sigh of relief escaped my lips. One more array of trees and I will soon leave the

my view of the human road, and stop a moment to breathe. I was on my knees, breathing heavily