Barely Breathing

The cold wind in its morning routine, brushes my skin, blending well with my cold and tormented heart. The grass felt smooth under my feet, yet gives no comfort. The forest that once been a haven, seems to taunt me, reminding me that I now belong to its alpha.

I didn't look back. No, I would not dare. I kept a hold of myself, now is not the time to be messed up with unwanted emotions. And, looking back would break the resolve I made.

I ran half-heartedly and went deeper into the forest. Ever so careful not to be caught by lookouts. Patrols are on guard even in daylight.

I can't stay anymore. Xyrus left me with no choice. He knew from the very beginning that I don't want to be chosen yet he can't understand. He wouldn't. He's forcing me to things I despise the most.

He is awakening some emotions within me that I so hardly buried deeper in my consciousness. Memories that had been dormant in the back of my mind for years. And with his doings, he is opening a wound bound to never heal.

I felt the fragments of the past traitorously played in my mind. I tried to stop it but of no use.

(Flashback 5 years ago)

I gazed at the man in front of me and forced the tears to not fall. For years, he had been a stranger but for this moment, he decided to be my father, again.

His dark, tired eyes that mirror a decade of sorrow held me captivated as he lovingly gazed at me. I feel like a daughter again and it somehow made a bitter smile crept on my lips.

His once built physique was replaced by a feeble appearance, though I believed he was much stronger than he looks. He held me by the shoulder and made me looked at him. His eyes have that spark of determination.

"Listen to me Willow, do you remember the song your mother and I sing when you were a child?" His voice strained.

The mention of my mother made another stab in my heart. I might be only thirteen but I know what was going on and what was about to happen. Tears blurred my vision as I nodded my head.

"Good. I want you to sing it with me. You know how it works. "

"Papa…I…"

He kissed my head and lingered there for a moment. I felt something wet rolled on the side of my face. He was crying. My papa was crying.

almost ten years, he had kept it all to himself. I never saw him cried yet he lived a dead

 shirt, savoring the fatherly care I was deprived of, for eight years. Only for it to come to an end.

daughter, forgive Papa will

to see the pain in his eyes. Slowly in a whisper tone, he started to sing the song I knew by heart. How much I had wished so many times to

wolf come

Little Willow hum around,"

I was so scared. All I want to do was to hug Papa and feel safe. But his eyes pleading me

"Twisting toes,

Swirling fun,"

be strong, it

a count

Let's take a run,"

have. My

wind

shoulder tightening yet I

hushes more it can

spun me around, me

make it one.

just running around playing with me; I was

were the words I kept repeating in my head yet I can't stop my tears from falling. I was at stake and his life was the one sacrifice in order to prolong

(end of flashback)

I can never forget easily, even the pain wasn't lessened by time. In just a couple of days, my life changed, and most of it not

am not yet ready to

finally nearing the border and a sigh of relief escaped my lips. One more array of

moment to breathe. I was on my