BDSM Checklist: A, B, C

Chapter 61

Though Master James was still toying with her breast Beth was no longer floating in a haze of aroused anticipation. She opened her eyes, though kept them submissively lowered.

Master James’s fingers stopped moving, his hand flattening over her chest.

“Can you do me a favor?” Though she could tell Master James was looking at her, it was clear he was speaking to the other Dom.

“Of course.”

“I need some things.”

Beth remained still as Master James leaned away from her to whisper to the other man. When he’d left, Master James shifted slightly, adjusting pillows until he was in a more relaxed half-reclining position.

He tugged Beth’s shoulders until she was reclining against his side, her head pillowed on his shoulder. “We haven’t talked about our letter.”

Beth found her tension slipping away as she lounged against him. “No, Master James, we haven’t.”

“I assume Madame Cat told you it’s C.”

“I figured it out.”

“The cage and the collar, or lack thereof, were a rather large clue. How are you feeling about Madame Cat removing her collar?”

Beth shrugged.

“No, I want to hear how you’re feeling. The truth.” The command was clear in his voice.

“I knew Madame Cat was moving and leaving LA. I didn’t know it was going to be today.”

“That’s what you know, not how you feel.”

A valid point, and she should have known he’d ask what for her was a difficult question. “I didn’t feel surprised when she removed her collar. I was…resigned. I’d planned to give up my own membership when Madame Cat left.”

“Because you didn’t want to submit to anyone but her?” He sounded both surprised and concerned.

“No, because being a sub is not what I thought it would be. I have not enjoyed it.” She shook her head, because that wasn’t quite right. “It has not been what I expected.”

“You’re disappointed.”

“Yes. Disappointed.” It felt good to say it, and it was true, but given her current position it was an odd statement. “In the Subs’ Garden, when others talk about their sessions and scenes…” Beth didn’t want to finish the sentence. Anything she said would sound pathetic, as if she were whining. She didn’t want to do that.

“Your submission hasn’t been fulfilling.”

She was glad he understood. “Exactly.”

“Have you considered topping?”

sucked in air and almost choked.

find that

never do it. I could never be

said that you’re good at reading

emotions, not in situations like this.” She gestured to the courtyard, which was slowly filling with

up and look

twisted, this time

did you join

said, “I won’t answer that.” The answer revealed too many things, asked her

have the right not to. But I have

stiffened. “I’m

thing. When you think about submitting, what do you imagine,

The last person to ask that was Master Leo at her interview for

her neck, thumb pressed lightly to the

to not worry,”

“Worry about what?”

if I’m saying the right thing, doing the right thing. I want to be with another person, but know that I’m being with them

the rules of BDSM…that’s how you’ll know you’re doing it the right way.” He spoke slowly, as if he

“Yes.”

to ask, are you,

people had either assumed or accused her of being on the autism

rude of me to say anything.” His matter-of-fact tone lacked the pity she feared. “But I’m worried that this is some kind of coping mechanism,

hadn’t considered

do to you,

with anyone else. It was him—he made her behave this way. The only reason she dared was because he’d pleased her far

sparkle in his eyes inviting

am I insulting

I can’t pleasure

that.” She bit the inside of

is that in all your years

so it’s

James let out a bark of laughter and Beth

faded to a grin and he looked pointedly to

every eye was on them. If it had been

He continued smiling, as if this were still funny, but all Beth could think was that

pushed herself to the edge of the chair, ready to drop to her

“Oh no, you don’t.”

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