Chapter 663 Deep-Seated Trauma
“No, I won’t,” Toby said weakly with a shake of his head. He knew that he had issues, too, but he didn’t think these were issues that could go away with therapy.
Sonia frowned unhappily when she heard this and countered by saying, “Why not? And how would you know you won’t get better until you’ve tried it?”
He closed his eyes tiredly. “My mom, she… She regretted giving birth to me…”
“What?” Sonia froze at first, then eyed him in bewilderment. “Did you just say your mom regretted giving birth to you?”
He said nothing, but his silence was an affirmation.
She shook her head incredulously. “That can’t be right. No, that’s impossible! How would you know your mom regretted giving birth to you? Grandma told me that you were really close with your mom and that she was gentle.”
A woman who could earn such praise from Rose couldn’t possibly have regretted giving birth to Toby, but as Sonia assessed the expression on his face, she didn’t think he was lying at all. So what in the world is going on here?
Toby still had his eyes closed, and he did not utter a single word.
Seeing him like this only made her worry more. She leaned closer to him and pleaded, “Tell me, Toby. You can talk to me about anything; I’ll be your most faithful listener. Don’t keep it all inside, or it’ll only make you spiral deeper. Grandma and I really care about you, and we all want to see you walk away from your past and embrace your usual self. If you don’t talk to us or try to overcome the trauma, it’ll only make us worry about you more, and we won’t ever get a peace of mind. Do you really want to see Grandma and I running around like headless chickens every year because of you? Don’t forget that Grandma isn’t getting any younger.”
She didn’t tell him that Rose had collapsed. Given his current state, Rose’s predicament would only add to his burdens. I’ll wait until he feels better, Sonia thought.
current state would indeed make everyone around him worry incessantly. More importantly, Rose really wasn’t getting any younger, and with each passing day, her body grew more feeble.
her own life…” he whispered, finally willing to speak
at him intently.
me in her arms and told me a bunch of stuff…” He trailed off as he fixed his hollow gaze on the ceiling. “My mom cried about Connor’s upcoming marriage, and she told me that she would have run away with Connor had she not been pregnant with me at the time. She told me that she only stayed
Sonia faltered a little, then pressed, “So you think that she regretted having you
dad, but she chose to stay in the Fuller Family because of me, and she stayed married to my father for the same reason. I was secretly happy when she told me this, until the next morning when I found her body. From there on, my nightmare began to torture me, and it’s been this way for over a decade. In my dreams, I would
as she urged, “Those are only dreams; they
my mom had conveyed to me on the night she took her own life had been her true feelings.” The light in his eyes looked as if it was extinguished as he gazed at Sonia. “Because of these dreams, I realized that my birth was the reason why my mom couldn’t pursue her own happiness. My existence tethered her to
been a result of his witnessing his
She shook her head vehemently. “Toby, don’t even for a second believe that you caused your mom’s death, and your mom never once thought of you as a burden. Listen to me carefully: you only think that you had anything to do with your mom’s suicide because those dreams told you so, and you were convinced at a young age that that was the truth. However, your mom could never mean what she said that night. You were her son, and there was no
I would never regret having a child with another man. As far
as quickly as she shook his head. “You’re not her; you can’t possibly
Grandma. She said your mom was a gentle person who loved you as a mother should, even though she never loved your father. But she chose to take up her responsibility as a mother for your sake, and I don’t think she ever regretted having you. She only said what she did out of sentiment, musings on what could have been if she had taken another road in life. That was not
“Also, if she truly did regret having you and thought of you as something that kept her from pursuing her own happiness, then she wouldn’t have loved you the way she did. She never would have been a good mother to you. On that note, Toby, I conclude that you are only so affected by her words because of those nightmares. What you should be aware of is that those nightmares are not reality but a manifestation of your childhood trauma. So please, Toby, forget about those words and
“It’s been over ten years
she rose from the couch to walk to the side of the room, whereupon she retrieved a paper
gaze, she reached into the bag
a scarf, a black
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