Breaking The Routine

            Sam entered in her empty house and tossed the keys as custom. She took off her heels and pushed them under the table. It had been a week since she lied for her father and against David. She looked over to the couch and remembered the day David came over for lunch more or less.

            She felt tears well up in her eyes and her heart ached. She wanted him gone and for things to go back to normal that day but things would never go back to being the way they were before. In the diner no one whispered or snickered at her any more like she had wanted but now everyone looked at her with disapproval, concern, or pity. Sam wasn't sure which look she hated most.

            No one longer tried to talk to her and ignored her when possible but instead of simply not seeing her as they used to, they hated her. Stephanie accused Sam being a traitorous brown nosing douche bag when she had heard of what had happened, except Stephanie had used much more colorful language. Even Adam, the biggest goody two shoes had started looking down on her and snubbing any conversation with her.

            Sam wiped a tear from her cheek and turned away from the couch. Out of all those people in the club why did David have to dance with her, and why out of all the companies in the country did he have to work for her father, she asked silently. Why did he care for her when she was the one person in this world that wasn't made to live like everyone else because as she had proven time and time again she could only screw things up! Sam was sure it was some kind of defect at birth she had that made a simple thing impossible.

            Tabby still wasn't speaking to her and the house seemed to be haunting her. She trudged towards the kitchen to start dinner but only threw it out when she was finished. She wasn't able to stomach anything despite her hunger; her stomach clenched on itself and threatened to reject anything she would eat.

            Sam asked herself for the millionth time, if she did the right thing lying to David like that and if it was then why did she feel so awful. She let out a loud sigh to break the silence as she dragged her feet towards the bathroom. She slowly took off the clothing staring at her reflection as if she expected it to tell her what she needed to hear but of course it only mimicked her movements. Scowling at her reflection she turned on the shower and stepped under the steaming hot water trying to ease the stress that attacked her body ignoring the fact the water had scalded her skin pink.

            She stepped out of the shower once the water had gone cold and wrapped herself in a yellow fluffy towel, yellow was supposed to make people feel better or so she had heard but she didn't feel better. She walked into the living room and picked up her cell phone where it laid near her keys.

            She needed her friend and needed to fix things between them. Especially since it was probably the only thing she could be able to fix out of this whole mess. Her spirits rose slightly upon hearing Tabby's voice.

            "I am so sorry, Tabby! I am so sorry I said those aweful things to you! I didn't mean any of them at all," She sobbed.

            "Oh I know Sam, I am sorry too. I guess I shouldn't have been so blunt," Tabby replied.

            "No the fault is all mine, Tabby. I should have known you were only trying to help," Sam replied.

            They talked for hours and Tabby thankfully didn't mention David or the horrible incident once. Sam apologized during the conversation nearly a hundred times wanting to make sure she still had her best friend. Sam really loved that crazy blonde and the thought of losing her too was enough to kill her. When the call finally did end Sam hung up the phone with a small sad smile, at least she still did have her best friend, that had to count for something!

            A month passed and things with Tabby had gotten back to normal. Sam sat in the diner waiting for Tabby to arrive. The warm summer sun felt good on her skin, and she allowed herself to enjoy the simple pleasure. She looked up to see Tabby sit down with her and Sam felt her heart leap to her throat when the guy that was David's lawyer sat down beside her. The look he gave her was murderous and Sam swore if it wasn't for Tabby he would have reached over the table and snap her neck.

            "Hey Sam, I don't think you two have ever been officially introduced. Sam this is Mark and Mark this is Sam," Tabby said clearly missing the tension between them and Mark's face suddenly changed to a softer expression.

            "H-hello," Sam managed to croak.

            "Hello Sam," he said with a hint of ice on his voice. A teen came over to take their order and as much as Sam tried to make up an excuse to leave Tabby managed to break through them forcing Sam to stay. She didn't want Mark to know she wanted to run away from him as far as possible. Tabby happily talked away, about Mark, their relationship, or telling Mark about work, life, and so on while Sam tried to eat but her stomach was a nervous knot.

            Every time Tabby would look away Mark's face would harden and grow hateful and Sam bowed her head shamefully. Her list of people who hated her was growing by the day, she thought sadly. Why did everyone hate her so much, she only did what had to be done! Why couldn't anyone see that but her!

            Shortly after the run in with Mark, Sam decided to sell her grandmother's house. As much as she loved the house she just couldn't live there anymore. The silence was haunting her and made her think about David nearly constantly which made her heart break all over every time she woke up or came home from work. It took a while to sell, nearly a whole month before Dottie's daughter and husband decided to buy the place. Sam sold all the furnature that the couple didn't want and rented a tiny apartment that was only five minute walk from work buying all new furniture. So nothing could possibly ever remind her of David and the time they had spent together.

            Though she couldn't help but think of him on a daily basis. She hoped he didn't suffer too much because of her but then realized what a silly thought that was. Sam was nothing special and nothing that a man like David could suffer over. He probably already had another girlfriend the first day he went back to New York; guys like him never stay single for long.

            Though the thought of him with another woman made her feel so jealous that she wanted to scream till her throat was raw but she forced herself to swallow the petty emotion. She had no right to be jealous! David was never hers or meant to be hers, and she shouldn't even be allowed to miss him what's more feel jealous!

            Sam got up from her desk and picked up the papers that her father needed that morning and headed to his office. It had been two months since the incident with David. "You look horrible," her father stated harshly as he looked up at Sam and she shook her head with disbelief.

            "Well I'm not exactly feeling that great nor am I sleeping that well," she confessed with a little bitterness in her voice and he glared at her darkly.

            "Well when you come into work I want you looking ready for the day," he retorted and she laid the papers on his desk and sat in a chair in front of him. He gave her a confused look as she eyed him slowly and seriously, for the first time she really tried to look at him.

            "Dad," she started,

   "Mr. Peters," he corrected her angrily and she

       "Dad," she repeated pointedly. "I want to talk to my father not my boss!" Sam snapped then sighed leaning her head back into the chair and glared up at the ceiling. "I am not doing so well, I don't think we acted right with David," she explained sadly bringing her head forward to look at her father. His

           "Don't talk about that boy with me, Samantha. I am still trying to fix all that mess you made," he snapped and she sighed. He still blamed the whole

           "Dad, if you hadn't pushed him like you did and I didn't lie like I did, you wouldn't have a mess to clean up," she snapped at him. "I know it's

Samantha! You wouldn't know the first thing about love," he told her with cold amusement marking his face. "We did what we had to do that

answer," Sam demanded. "I come to you for help...for comfort...and this is what you tell me, Grow up, deal with it and get back to work?" She asked not

         "Yes Samantha that is what I am telling you! Quit expecting me to solve all your problems for you, you're an adult woman and you deal with your own problems. Now grow up, deal with it and get to work," he told her raising

her. Her father, the man that should love and cherish her but she saw no love or

I...," She started getting up

busy man and I don't time to set aside to listen to your claims for drama," he told her with a dismissive way of his hand. Sam slammed her fists down

            "My claims for drama? You bitter old man, how dare you! You've ruined my

   "I can't believe you father, after every stupid thing I have done for you, I can't believe you can't simply return the damn favor," She told him

the three months she had been in Indianapolis she found she loved it. It had been four months since she

had thought about calling or going to see David several times. She even dialed his number countless times but quickly hung up; she was just too ashamed of herself. He probably had already moved on and didn't want to hear from or see her again. She had betrayed him so badly the last time she saw him that she doubt no matter what she said he wouldn't be able to forgive her.

that threatened fall. She looked at her text book opened up at her lap. She tried to go back to reading the paragraph she

          "Oh fine I guess," she sighed returning her attention back

      "That doesn't

         "That's because I am not very convinced. How are things in the big apple?" Sam

Sam let another small smile spread across her lips. Sam was really happy for her friend though she also felt really jealous too. She knew if she hadn't been so stupid she could have had that too.

          "That's awesome Tabby. You two are really great

it but I can't resist. How come you never ask me about him? You know that he and Mark are really close," Tabby asked finally and Sam felt

          "I have thought about it. Almost every day I think about it," she admitted honestly. "But I don't

me so it becomes real. Real that he has forgotten me and real the wonderful girl that has entered in his life that managed heal all the hurt I have done, the jealousy would be enough to kill

going on, how can you be so sure that it's like that?" Tabby asked and Sam felt her stomach flip on itself. She cursed

      "It's not assumption Tabby, it's how life works now

A month of mopping and eating

            Sam laughed at Tabby's choice of subject change; she had a committed boyfriend but still found time to talk about men. "I am too busy learning to take notice of

      "Well then there can't be any guys there that hot or

are a constant flirt Tabby; you're going to drive poor Mark nuts!" Sam scolded her friend playfully. They continued to talk for a hour longer till Sam had to finally hang up to get her reading done she glanced out the window looking to the city draped in the early night. She smiled sadly before turning to her book but she

David. She couldn't help but wonder what he was doing at that exact moment or who he was with. She felt a pang of jealousy thinking of him with another woman at this very moment. She sighed again covering her face with her hands feeling pathetic and depressed. Would she ever be able to feel good again, she wondered

do yesterday. She looked around the large library with the walls covered with books, and book cases that towered over her. She loved this place and always felt as if she stepped into a new world. It was the only place she to feel relaxed and at peace. She sat down at her favorite table near a large window. She felt a smile sneak up

coming here on a Saturday morning," a man said with a playful smile sitting down in the chair in front of her. She looked up at him and rolled

         "Good morning Robert," she

     "Don't act like you don't love my company,"

          "I don't believe I ever made such

that sigh you made after you said so dully "Good morning Robert." So what has my little study bunny smiling today," Robert asked her breaking as he tucked a piece of his rebellious brown hair behind his ear and she laughed shaking

   "Study bunny that is a new one," she said with

words that is why I am a philosophy professor you know," Robert told her with wink. "So," he insisted. "What has got my overcast comrade actually smiling,"

     "This is my favorite place and my

off his glasses to clean them with a little cloth he always kept in his vest pocket. Sam smiled at him knowing that was his form of a

she liked that about him. Almost all the girls she talked with thought they were having some secret love affair but he was only a good friend to her. Shortly after meeting him, much to her surprise he did ask her out to dinner but she refused. There was only ever one man for Sam, and she