Chapter 23: Hope

I am sleep deprived. I couldn’t think straight while staring at the copper-colored ceiling of the four corners of our room. My head was aching, I just want to die.

I can feel myself shake every time I see Vigor. The trauma that inflicted me that night keeps coming back when I see him. Especially that I confirmed it 5 weeks ago.

I couldn’t leave the place; I am stock in here. I can’t even have a time for myself. My emotional health is unstable. Vigor can’t see me because I will shake in fear. The mixed emotion of anger, fear and pain never left my body since then. As I am trying to make myself understand that all of these weren’t normal, the pain of betrayal upon knowing that the man I love, was still in love with someone is killing me and the fact that the beast that almost killed me that night was the man I also love.

Am I that unlucky to deserve all these things?

I held my round tummy. Its harder to breath day by day plus my baby is heavy.

Sometimes, I would go to the balcony for some fresh air, but I couldn’t last long because my back hurts in too much standing. I would also think of…what will be my baby’s form.

Although I want to wake up from this nightmare, but those days that have past were enough already to collect my sanity and just accept the bitter truth that I unraveled, myself.

If… Vigor’s a beast. Does that mean my baby will be a beast too?

That fact brings pain on me. I am feeling so lonely. I am feeling so hurt, I am feeling so…lost.

I held my chest as my tears streamed down on the side of my eyes, I just want to die to remove all this pain I am carrying.

I wiped my tears away when I heard a knock on the door.

“My Lady, I will get inside to assist you.” She heard a soft voice from one of the clan’s women.

I didn’t bother to answer because I know she will still come inside though.

When she’s inside, she’s holding a basin and a white cloth. I can also see the signal light coming from the notification of her cellphone.

I sat on the bed and have let her remove my clothes off my body. When she did, she started wiping me from my neck and arms.

watching the lights on her cellphone. Maybe if I grab that then I will be able to seek help and contact

hope. Like a robot or a slave that’s only alive because

that’s it. I am only a

married me so that my parents will get confident about my stay here, where in fact, they want me to give

him

tears fell again, I will fucking make

her off. “For the baby? Yes I won’t harm my

panicked, “Leave me alone.” I

hesitated but then

pass before grabbing her phone that I snatched.

she might wonder and find her missing phone

but they were out of coverage.

so I

she answered after

immediately greeted, panting and excited

from

I know

get me out of here. I-I have so many things to tell you.” I

calm down. Where are you?” She asked,

uhm, I am here in Saint

her took a deep breath, “I’m

it wouldn’t be so obvious that we planned all of

relieved upon knowing that I can rely on someone. I am feeling so alone these past few days and it was

I didn’t expect Miho to come exactly this time because we planned it tomorrow. But I really want to get out

sleep early, and because I was sleep deprived these past few weeks, I can

I tried my best to get up and bath because

the middle of the bathroom when I

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