Choosing Her Lover

“More than one…. How many men are you fucking? Is that why you’re saying what you are about Mike? You play fast and loose, so you assume everyone else does? I thought you and I had something special. I thought it was you and me; that we were an item?”

“I never said that. I never said anything like that….”

“You slept with me. We made love together….”

“Ben, we’ve had half a dozen dates; that’s all. And yes, I slept with you, once. But…. So what? I’m sure you’re a great guy, but I have never said that I wanted to be tied to you. You just assumed it.”

I fall silent. It seems the best policy while Ben gets his brain on to the same planet I live on.

He stares at me, his face slack, but I can see the wheels turning in his head. Then, “Have you screwed my brother?”

Oh, fuck….

In the background, I see Michael’s eyes roll heavenward.

Should I lie?

Would it help?

No.

“Yes.”

“Yes? You’ve fucked Michael?”

And now I’m beginning to panic, not thinking clearly. “It was just once, a couple of years ago.” I stammer. “They were at a club I go to….”

“They? Who’s ‘they’?”

Oh, shit….

“Who’s they?” he repeats.

I don’t speak, staring at the floor and trying not to speak, before I make things worse.

threatening. I look up again. I try not to, but my gaze wanders

them? Is that what you’re saying?

Then, his voice

not being fair to you, that I should call a

up and down, swiping a hand through his hair, then he turns to face me, eyes wide, lips pressed white against

you,” he says finally. “Mike, tell me what the

sigh, standing arms folded, looking his brother in the eye.

stare at each other; Michael calm, his

that you married a woman,

telling you that he shared her with me, and then

him.

lives the same way.” Michael waves a hand across to James and Charlotte. “My family consists of my wife and my best friend. I’ve known him longer than her, but they both mean a lot to me and for the three of us, it

storms out of the room. There is the sound of boots stamping downstairs, the bang of a door and then the rumble of a car engine which grows quieter as it

gaze passes between the two men, wary and waiting. Michael, arms still folded, looks at the

mutter, and

has driven away, leaving me behind. I can’t even

house? Ask

don’t dare. The expression on James’

stump looking down over the glorious lake view. I’m trembling, and after a minute, I realise I’m crying, tears rolling down my cheeks. Then uncontrollably, the sobs come, heaving at my

still here?” It’s Michael’s voice

the back of my hand. As I turn, he looks stern, angry, but his face softens when he sees me trying to wipe my face dry. Fishing

my nose and try to clean my face. My skin feels hot. Some women can cry and look good,

and everything else

hell were you even here

and James….” I swallow my words. “When he

getting late. I’d put you up in the hotel overnight, but I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to risk running into James

it’s going to help much with James though. I’ll have to see him at

a bit before tomorrow. Come on, let’s get you home. Go and wait in the

*****

for the storm. Nausea rises in my throat and I couldn’t face

intercom buzzes. “Hello, Kirstie. It’s Francis here from the director’s