Choosing Her Lover

“More than one…. How many men are you fucking? Is that why you’re saying what you are about Mike? You play fast and loose, so you assume everyone else does? I thought you and I had something special. I thought it was you and me; that we were an item?”

“I never said that. I never said anything like that….”

“You slept with me. We made love together….”

“Ben, we’ve had half a dozen dates; that’s all. And yes, I slept with you, once. But…. So what? I’m sure you’re a great guy, but I have never said that I wanted to be tied to you. You just assumed it.”

I fall silent. It seems the best policy while Ben gets his brain on to the same planet I live on.

He stares at me, his face slack, but I can see the wheels turning in his head. Then, “Have you screwed my brother?”

Oh, fuck….

In the background, I see Michael’s eyes roll heavenward.

Should I lie?

Would it help?

No.

“Yes.”

“Yes? You’ve fucked Michael?”

And now I’m beginning to panic, not thinking clearly. “It was just once, a couple of years ago.” I stammer. “They were at a club I go to….”

“They? Who’s ‘they’?”

Oh, shit….

“Who’s they?” he repeats.

I don’t speak, staring at the floor and trying not to speak, before I make things worse.

I look up again. I try not to, but my gaze wanders between James and Michael, and Ben’s eyes

what you’re saying? You fucked with my brother and

between the two of them, then Charlotte, then back at me. Then, his voice quiet, almost calm, “Were you

that I’m not being fair to you, that I should call a

hair, then he turns to face me, eyes wide, lips pressed

don’t believe you,” he says finally. “Mike, tell me

folded, looking his brother in the eye. “Ben, Kirstie’s

stare at each other; Michael calm, his expression almost regretful, Ben confused,

seriously telling me that you married a woman, and you shared her with another

telling you that he shared her

him. “You’re not

Charlotte. “My family consists of my wife and my best friend. I’ve known him longer than her, but they both mean a lot to me and for the three of us, it works. So,

of boots stamping downstairs, the bang of a door and then the rumble of a car engine which grows quieter as it fades

the two men, wary and waiting. Michael, arms still folded,

going, shall I,” I mutter, and

that I am stranded. Ben brought me here and has driven away, leaving me behind.

go back into the house? Ask if I can use

don’t dare. The expression

minute, I realise I’m crying, tears rolling down my

here?” It’s

of my hand. As I turn, he looks stern, angry, but his face softens when he

you doing here?” he repeats as I blow my nose and try to clean my face. My skin feels hot. Some women can cry

“He’s driven off without me, and my bag and everything else is in his car.

you even here in

didn’t want to come, but Ben was so angry when he thought he’d seen Charlotte and James….” I swallow my words. “When he thought he’d seen them…. I was trying to stop him, or

don’t think it’s a good idea for you to risk running into James right now. I’ll call

don’t think it’s going to help much with James though. I’ll have

him off a bit before tomorrow. Come on, let’s get you home. Go

*****

following day, I am sitting at my desk, working, but waiting for the storm. Nausea rises in my throat and I

buzzes. “Hello, Kirstie. It’s Francis here