Cruel World

Chap 65

Sarah

Sarah shut her car door and took off her sunglasses, straighten her skirts and felt conscious about her appearances as she was overdressed for the session but she was already late, so without any further delay she enters Becca office and waited for her

Becca enters her office and greets her 'Hi Sarah how are you.. (she give a look) you look good at this outfit'

Sarah nervously laughed 'i know I'm overdressed but today we had a big conference that we need to attend ..it was a long drive to another state and since my father in law joined the business again it was basically for his honor to make him know whats happening...so I was really busy at that' she starts babbling

It was true after more than a month ago...Mr Grey was really in a good health and he wanted to join business again...when Sarah told him to rest.

His answer was that he really need to get out of this house and do something productive.....it was clear how much he miss Theo but he never show it and never ask about it and same goes for Sarah who was waiting every minute when theo will come back

Becca nodes 'well then you should take a rest...why you came here directly. I can understand you know'

Sarah blinked and came back from her trance ', yeah but I have already lost the previous session so I don't want to lose this one'

Becca casually walks to another table where coffee was placed and hold two cups and give one to sarah 'im happy that you took these sessions seriously and yes we lost I guess two sessions if I remember you got really sick isn't it...'

Sarah shake her head 'it was so bad...i got it from Ava she had eat something bad that led her to throw up for days ...i was worried she got food poising but luckily it was not that worse but then I picked the virus from her and you know rest'

Becca nodes 'i hope you checked the doctor'

Sarah smiles 'thanks for asking. I did actually....she said it was a normal virus...she did some test and hopefully I will get this week'

Becca nodes and observe Sarah keenly.

Becca, she said seriously 'Sarah why you here....what you want to talk about'

Sarah blushed was she that obvious she play with her hand 'you know why I'm here to, talk'

Becca smiled 'and we talk a lot...we have been doing that a lot after theo departure and I'm impressed how you open up more, you share your fears and insecurities more in details that's what I wanted and most of your fears are gone...but some are still holding you back isn't it, so tell me what you want to know'

Sarah winced, she has been getting better and she can feel herself but she has been restless for more than a month.

Sarah openly said aloud 'i want to know about theo...what he is doing..why he is still not contacted me....is he ok?' she was so concerned that it made her look so pale

Becca sighs 'so that what you want to know...you know its two-month therapy theo has gone to and it's only a month..'

Sarah lost it 'no I want to know something which I don't know...he is gone and I don't have any contact with him, his daughter keep on asking me where is daddy is his father don't say a word but his eyes are always looking at the door for his son and me...(she suddenly feel too emotional) me. I feel so alone and worried about him all the time... I know it's a prison for him and I live in one which was not good...so please tell me is he okay'

Becca's eyes become sympathetic 'Sarah....(she look down) ok I will tell you... I have been contacted with rehab to know how theo is doing...honestly speaking he is not that good...he has been there where he has to deal with some tough exerciser that checks his tolerance level ...his guilt and grieve consulting....which he lost it quite a time .....he also signed to kill the habit of smoking which is also not helping him ..so he had some episodes...he is better than starting days but still he is recovering...he talk lot...mostly about you and his sister Tina looks like he needed a deep grieve consoling too..but he doesn't want to write any letter to you guys as according to him he wants you to find him changed man when he comes back, not like this'

Sarah's eyes were not blinking and drops of water start falling...she gasped the armchair....she felt her tears and wiped them 'sorry it was little overwhelming....thank you for telling me'

but inside it was killing her...when she heard how theo is surviving

Becca note down something 'but why Sarah, you have been in the worst situation then theo...so why you feel bad for him..why you miss him.'

Sarah looked her like it was obvious 'because I don't want anyone to go through this pain..i have been too....in the past few months we have been ...(she don't know how to say this) we have been friends...so I miss him' she sounds unsure what she really want to say

Becca give her a knowing look 'i can see that how much you miss him...but the thing he has done with you made you forget everything or let me rephrase will you ever forgive him for the things he did to you...will you ever love him ...again?'

Sarah was uncomfortable with this change of topic. They never talk on this before not even when Theo was here

Sarah was quite then Sarah looked her 'i will never forget what he did to me. I just can't but forgiveness....forgiveness is something which is earned and now I don't know what you think of me but I think he earned it and I'm willing to forgive him and maybe move on someday....'

Becca gaze doesn't leave Sarah 'what about love...can you ever let your fear go away completely and confess your love for him?"

Sarah took a deep breath, she rubbed her temples 'why we are having this intense talk' she tries to avoid this question

Becca shrugs 'well you know it was coming so why not now'

Sarah looked lost ...she was gone to those moments when she was stupid enough to confess her love to theo when all the time he was planning to use her make fun of her love and feelings....she can't take that pain again but things have changed isn't it? Then why she can't let go those feelings.

Becca left her chair and sit down with Sarah and touch her shoulder 'Sarah just let it out... I can see in your eyes the millions of emotions that you have stored....those pain that still hurt you....just let it out'

Sarah holds Becca hand...like she needs her to understand 'i don't know...i just become speechless when I try to say something about love... I knew it by heart what I feel but I can never say it aloud like something was stopping me to say it. When I stupidly confess my love to him before you know what he did to me ...it hurt me more than the physical pain. I just can't put myself there, please tell me what should I do' her eyes were totally filled with water and confusion

Becca kindly touch her hair 'sarah that's what I want you to do...to speak..to tell what you hesitant to do..what makes you angry or happy....can I tell you something?' Rebecca softly asked her

Sarah nodes keenly but Becca looks away 'i don't know how to say this but theo really don't need to go to rehab...he was already controlled and sober in his situation..he was fit to be here'

Becca stopped when she saw Sarah shocked expression 'what? why..why would you do that'

Becca replied 'because when I said that I was disgusted with the things he did to you. I only give him chance to see his regret and chance to change himself and most importantly checked him is he dangerous for you or not. Sarah, I just took your case because I wanted to save you... I got many millions of married couple coming to me to save their marriage but most of the time I try to save individuals first. I try to check their mindset. I told thousands of women to run away from their husbands when I see no improvement in their male counterpart but when I saw how Theo was changing how he was accepting things. How he was willing to do anything to help you to become a strong woman, give me hope for you guys,

Becca hold sarah hand to make her focus what she will say next

about his determination to change for you...made me openly say that Sarah...he is a changed man and yes he deserves to be

that made Sarah totally lost into her own

put her hand in her chest and

her lips and said

love him .....i

squeezed her shoulder 'i knew the moment he was

the session was over...sarah felt a weird and light feeling like she is free from everything that was stored in her heart...she said it all..she don't care what happens next all

away from the city..so you won't find me on next session but I have a feeling we are quite done here.....but you can call me if you felt

the card and hugged him

her 'that's my

to the car...and smiled when she sees herself

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Theo

white room is killing him....although it's a room with some necessary stuff but he feel like its suffocating him..he remember when he put Sarah in the basement

at the same time call the instructor to be a sadist bastard and other abusive words...so this is his time out... in the cold white room...where he has to write why he got angry at what he felt when he was

bed and think about Sarah and Ava. That's one of his thing here, he opens the draw an took out the picture of Sarah

bad or when she was too sad....like

door open...about fucking time...he saw the man wearing, of course,

about tina...and damn it ..it put a dagger in his heart when he tells how he let down his sister...according

and follows the bulky

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

After a week ago

Sarah

of the story' Sarah closed the

not say anything..Which

what's wrong why you so quite' Sarah

'i miss daddy....tell him I don't

game and now you are sad so you know what daddy said..if you are

shine 'when...when

'in very few

it was good enough

presence of theo...this room makes her feel more alone and depressed...she

saw her inbox was filled with some message from banks. From the website she never knows and from the hospital...then it clicks 'oh the result of the report of

casually opens the

her sugar and blood too but then she saw

'Fuck' she cursed

god...no no...no' she

said....she is

she can see the flashback when she

control her beating 'its ok..sarah its ok ' she consoles

it...she runs to the closet and looks for her purse and hurriedly opens her bag and took it out and then she dialed the

10 secs but felt like an

ok' Becca

the phone tight 'Becca...Becca..im...i

sarah...im here...just listen to me...

hands very shaking 'ok...but

I can hear the shiver in your voice...ok now take a

after a minute her breathing

you ok? ....ok now tell me whats wrong....are you in trouble'

head 'no...yes... I mean I

patient 'ok what that email said and who its

snips 'its from my doctor ....you

replied 'so whats

'no no..she is fine...good..its report said I'm...I'm pregnant' she

moment and Sarah can feel

Sarah...just relax...and tell me why you are

closes her eyes 'how can

quite changed...this news is surprised but what you expect to have sex and not use protection it was quite obvious..and secondly Sarah if you can have a baby when your relationship with theo was toxic and so dangerous then why not now...as things are much better

reducing..she digest Becca

are

here. I'm sorry I called you

called...so

so sudden I just had the flashback when I was expecting Ava...and it made

just put your

Sarah replied 'what?'

her 'just do

slowly touches her stomach

hold it and cherish it like you did with Ava.....you will learn it from the past and try to make things better and this time you know your baby father will be there ...will be loved him or her...and

small baby....she just feel it all.....a moment ago she wanted this news to be false and now she felt such immense love for this baby....like her

this child no matter how big your issues and fears are...you will always be a