Cruel World

Chap 65

Sarah

Sarah shut her car door and took off her sunglasses, straighten her skirts and felt conscious about her appearances as she was overdressed for the session but she was already late, so without any further delay she enters Becca office and waited for her

Becca enters her office and greets her 'Hi Sarah how are you.. (she give a look) you look good at this outfit'

Sarah nervously laughed 'i know I'm overdressed but today we had a big conference that we need to attend ..it was a long drive to another state and since my father in law joined the business again it was basically for his honor to make him know whats happening...so I was really busy at that' she starts babbling

It was true after more than a month ago...Mr Grey was really in a good health and he wanted to join business again...when Sarah told him to rest.

His answer was that he really need to get out of this house and do something productive.....it was clear how much he miss Theo but he never show it and never ask about it and same goes for Sarah who was waiting every minute when theo will come back

Becca nodes 'well then you should take a rest...why you came here directly. I can understand you know'

Sarah blinked and came back from her trance ', yeah but I have already lost the previous session so I don't want to lose this one'

Becca casually walks to another table where coffee was placed and hold two cups and give one to sarah 'im happy that you took these sessions seriously and yes we lost I guess two sessions if I remember you got really sick isn't it...'

Sarah shake her head 'it was so bad...i got it from Ava she had eat something bad that led her to throw up for days ...i was worried she got food poising but luckily it was not that worse but then I picked the virus from her and you know rest'

Becca nodes 'i hope you checked the doctor'

Sarah smiles 'thanks for asking. I did actually....she said it was a normal virus...she did some test and hopefully I will get this week'

Becca nodes and observe Sarah keenly.

Becca, she said seriously 'Sarah why you here....what you want to talk about'

Sarah blushed was she that obvious she play with her hand 'you know why I'm here to, talk'

Becca smiled 'and we talk a lot...we have been doing that a lot after theo departure and I'm impressed how you open up more, you share your fears and insecurities more in details that's what I wanted and most of your fears are gone...but some are still holding you back isn't it, so tell me what you want to know'

Sarah winced, she has been getting better and she can feel herself but she has been restless for more than a month.

Sarah openly said aloud 'i want to know about theo...what he is doing..why he is still not contacted me....is he ok?' she was so concerned that it made her look so pale

Becca sighs 'so that what you want to know...you know its two-month therapy theo has gone to and it's only a month..'

Sarah lost it 'no I want to know something which I don't know...he is gone and I don't have any contact with him, his daughter keep on asking me where is daddy is his father don't say a word but his eyes are always looking at the door for his son and me...(she suddenly feel too emotional) me. I feel so alone and worried about him all the time... I know it's a prison for him and I live in one which was not good...so please tell me is he okay'

Becca's eyes become sympathetic 'Sarah....(she look down) ok I will tell you... I have been contacted with rehab to know how theo is doing...honestly speaking he is not that good...he has been there where he has to deal with some tough exerciser that checks his tolerance level ...his guilt and grieve consulting....which he lost it quite a time .....he also signed to kill the habit of smoking which is also not helping him ..so he had some episodes...he is better than starting days but still he is recovering...he talk lot...mostly about you and his sister Tina looks like he needed a deep grieve consoling too..but he doesn't want to write any letter to you guys as according to him he wants you to find him changed man when he comes back, not like this'

Sarah's eyes were not blinking and drops of water start falling...she gasped the armchair....she felt her tears and wiped them 'sorry it was little overwhelming....thank you for telling me'

but inside it was killing her...when she heard how theo is surviving

Becca note down something 'but why Sarah, you have been in the worst situation then theo...so why you feel bad for him..why you miss him.'

Sarah looked her like it was obvious 'because I don't want anyone to go through this pain..i have been too....in the past few months we have been ...(she don't know how to say this) we have been friends...so I miss him' she sounds unsure what she really want to say

Becca give her a knowing look 'i can see that how much you miss him...but the thing he has done with you made you forget everything or let me rephrase will you ever forgive him for the things he did to you...will you ever love him ...again?'

Sarah was uncomfortable with this change of topic. They never talk on this before not even when Theo was here

Sarah was quite then Sarah looked her 'i will never forget what he did to me. I just can't but forgiveness....forgiveness is something which is earned and now I don't know what you think of me but I think he earned it and I'm willing to forgive him and maybe move on someday....'

Becca gaze doesn't leave Sarah 'what about love...can you ever let your fear go away completely and confess your love for him?"

Sarah took a deep breath, she rubbed her temples 'why we are having this intense talk' she tries to avoid this question

Becca shrugs 'well you know it was coming so why not now'

Sarah looked lost ...she was gone to those moments when she was stupid enough to confess her love to theo when all the time he was planning to use her make fun of her love and feelings....she can't take that pain again but things have changed isn't it? Then why she can't let go those feelings.

Becca left her chair and sit down with Sarah and touch her shoulder 'Sarah just let it out... I can see in your eyes the millions of emotions that you have stored....those pain that still hurt you....just let it out'

Sarah holds Becca hand...like she needs her to understand 'i don't know...i just become speechless when I try to say something about love... I knew it by heart what I feel but I can never say it aloud like something was stopping me to say it. When I stupidly confess my love to him before you know what he did to me ...it hurt me more than the physical pain. I just can't put myself there, please tell me what should I do' her eyes were totally filled with water and confusion

Becca kindly touch her hair 'sarah that's what I want you to do...to speak..to tell what you hesitant to do..what makes you angry or happy....can I tell you something?' Rebecca softly asked her

Sarah nodes keenly but Becca looks away 'i don't know how to say this but theo really don't need to go to rehab...he was already controlled and sober in his situation..he was fit to be here'

Becca stopped when she saw Sarah shocked expression 'what? why..why would you do that'

Becca replied 'because when I said that I was disgusted with the things he did to you. I only give him chance to see his regret and chance to change himself and most importantly checked him is he dangerous for you or not. Sarah, I just took your case because I wanted to save you... I got many millions of married couple coming to me to save their marriage but most of the time I try to save individuals first. I try to check their mindset. I told thousands of women to run away from their husbands when I see no improvement in their male counterpart but when I saw how Theo was changing how he was accepting things. How he was willing to do anything to help you to become a strong woman, give me hope for you guys,

Becca hold sarah hand to make her focus what she will say next

man and yes he deserves to be

Sarah totally lost into her own inner

and felt rapid beating sound of

her lips

mouth ...'.i......I love him .....i think i love him more now' she finally

the moment he was left....just waited for you to

is free from everything that was stored in her heart...she said it all..she don't care what happens next all she knows she is confident enough to

away from the city..so you won't find me on next session but I have a feeling we are quite done here.....but you can call me if you felt you need to tell something else that bothers you

took the card and hugged him 'thank you Becca...thank you so

'that's

the car...and smiled when she sees herself in the car

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Theo

stuff but he feel like its suffocating him..he remember when he put Sarah in the

he lost his temper during intense work out and aggression class....he doesn't want to yell...he doesn't want to punch the punching bag ...but the fucking instructor yelled in his eras to do it...and he did it quite well but at the same time call the instructor to be a sadist bastard and other abusive words...so

the picture of Sarah and his beautiful daughter Ava...he smiled

was punished bad or when she was too sad....like he is.....god this is a pure torture he is in but

open...about fucking time...he saw the man wearing, of course, white uniform...'Mr. Theo

hates it. God how much he hates it.....they all ask him about tina...and damn it ..it put a dagger in his heart when he tells how he let down his

tiredly stands and follows the bulky

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

After a week ago

Sarah

of the story' Sarah closed the

did not say

you so

said 'i miss daddy....tell him I don't

he misses you also but it's a game and now you are sad so

shine 'when...when

the blanket 'in very

looked confused what it was good

suddenly wanted the presence of theo...this room makes her feel more alone and depressed...she

starts sending emails when she saw her inbox was filled with some message from banks. From the website she never knows and from the hospital...then it clicks

casually opens the

a normal virus..she checked her vitals were normal even her sugar and blood too but then she saw the sign positive ..then she looked deeply ..and then he lost all the color from her

'Fuck' she cursed

no...no'

report clearly said....she is

to be shaking...oh god, she can see the flashback when she gets to know she was pregnant

stands and tries to control her beating 'its ok..sarah

opens her draw but couldn't find it...she runs to the closet and looks for her purse and hurriedly opens her bag

like 10 secs

Becca sleepy voice sound

the phone tight 'Becca...Becca..im...i just...find..oh god..i...email...i..'

to calm her 'ok ok sarah...im here...just listen to me... ok...just do what

very shaking 'ok...but

hear the shiver in your voice...ok now take a

and after a minute her breathing was

ok? ....ok now tell me whats wrong....are you in trouble' she sounded

'no...yes... I mean I don't know...i

was patient 'ok what that email said and who its

....you remember I was sick....but I'm

'so

immediately replied 'no no..she is fine...good..its report

silent for a moment and Sarah can feel her anxiety

Sarah...just relax...and tell me why you are

eyes 'how can you say

and not use protection it was quite obvious..and secondly Sarah if you can have a baby when your relationship with theo was toxic and so

reducing..she digest

are you still

I'm here. I'm sorry I called you at this

replied 'no problem I'm happy you called...so tell me why you

honestly replied 'it was so sudden I just had the flashback when I was expecting Ava...and it made me react like this.....I'm so sensitive. I don't know whats wrong with me'

just put your hand in your

Sarah replied 'what?'

her 'just do it

slowly touches her stomach and

continue 'now close your eyes...and imagine a little life is growing in your tummy..who will be in your arm in few months....you will hold it and cherish it like you did with Ava.....you will learn it from the past and try to make things better and this time you know

to be false and now she felt such immense love for this baby....like her heart is growing more for this baby.....she

child no matter how big your issues and fears are...you will always be