Ex-Husband's Regret

Divorce decree
I get out of my car and slowly walk towards the mansion. My hands were trembling and my body was sweaty.

I still couldn’t believe that it was done. That I was finally divorced from him. The proof of that was currently in my handbag. I was here to bring the final papers to him and to pick Noah up.

Entering the house, I follow the sounds of hushed voices but stop in my tracks when I near the kitchen.

Right now I could hear them clearly and what I heard encased my soul in ice.

“I still don’t understand why you can’t live with me and mommy?” Noah asks his father.

My shaking hands go to my chest. My heart breaking at the sadness in his voice. I would do anything for him, but this divorce was inevitable.

Our marriage had been a mistake. Everything about us was a mistake. It just took me a while to see the truth.

“You know why Noah, you mother and I are no longer together” His voice is soft as he replies.

It’s weird really. That during the duration of our marriage he has never once spoken to me softly. It was always cold. Always flat and devoid of any emotion

“But why?”

“These things just happen” he mumbles.

I can imagine his face frowning. As he tries to make Noah understand so that he doesn’t ask any more questions. But Noah is my son. Curiosity and inquisition is in his blood.

“Don’t you love her?”

My breath gets caught at the simple heartfelt question. I take a step back and lean against the wall. Heart racing, I wait in anticipation for his answer.

I knew his answer. I’ve always known what it is. Everyone with the exception of Noah probably knows that damn answer.

The truth is he doesn’t love me. Never had and never will. That was as clear as day. Knowing this, I still wanted to hear his reply. Would he tell our son the truth or lie to him?

He clears his throat, obviously stalling. “Noah…”

mommy or not?” Noah

hear him sigh in defeat. “I love her

a placation

of pain that fills me. After all this time. It still hurts. I feel my heart breaking all over again. I don’t know why a small part of me

gave birth to

duration of our marriage. I gave him my all but he gave

us in our marriage. Him, me and the love of

eyes but I rub them way. I was tired of crying.

you it’s rude

silent space. Interrupting my thoughts in the process. I square my shoulders and enter

near the kitchen counter.

pins me to

The only good thing in my life. His good

them a small

from the counter. He rushes to me

his forehead before he

to be my home, but now I feel out of place in it. Like

though, I never

unknowingly, he built this house with HER in mind. This was HER dream house, everything

the first indication that he wasn’t planning on letting her go. That he wouldn’t reciprocate my love

in annoyance and stares at his watch. “You promised you wouldn’t interrupt my

the divorce degree today and I thought I could bring

me like this, a piece of me breaks. I’ve loved him since I can remember but that doesn’t mean a damn thing to

heart and shattered my soul. I

would finally get love. The love I’ve been craving since I was a child. I was wrong. Marriage turned to be a nightmare. I was always fighting with the ghost of his

my chest. Trying to ease the pain

does no good. It still fucking hurts even though we’ve been separated for

go up to your room? Your mother and I need to discuss something” Rowan says through clenched teeth, the

looks between us for

fighting” he