Ex-Husband's Regret

Divorce decree
I get out of my car and slowly walk towards the mansion. My hands were trembling and my body was sweaty.

I still couldn’t believe that it was done. That I was finally divorced from him. The proof of that was currently in my handbag. I was here to bring the final papers to him and to pick Noah up.

Entering the house, I follow the sounds of hushed voices but stop in my tracks when I near the kitchen.

Right now I could hear them clearly and what I heard encased my soul in ice.

“I still don’t understand why you can’t live with me and mommy?” Noah asks his father.

My shaking hands go to my chest. My heart breaking at the sadness in his voice. I would do anything for him, but this divorce was inevitable.

Our marriage had been a mistake. Everything about us was a mistake. It just took me a while to see the truth.

“You know why Noah, you mother and I are no longer together” His voice is soft as he replies.

It’s weird really. That during the duration of our marriage he has never once spoken to me softly. It was always cold. Always flat and devoid of any emotion

“But why?”

“These things just happen” he mumbles.

I can imagine his face frowning. As he tries to make Noah understand so that he doesn’t ask any more questions. But Noah is my son. Curiosity and inquisition is in his blood.

“Don’t you love her?”

My breath gets caught at the simple heartfelt question. I take a step back and lean against the wall. Heart racing, I wait in anticipation for his answer.

I knew his answer. I’ve always known what it is. Everyone with the exception of Noah probably knows that damn answer.

The truth is he doesn’t love me. Never had and never will. That was as clear as day. Knowing this, I still wanted to hear his reply. Would he tell our son the truth or lie to him?

He clears his throat, obviously stalling. “Noah…”

mommy or not?”

“I love her for

placation not an

After all this time. It still hurts. I feel my heart breaking all over again. I don’t know why a small part of me had

never said those three words to me. Not when we got married or when I gave birth to

entire duration of our marriage. I gave him my

of us in our marriage. Him, me and the love of his life. The woman he’s refused

my eyes but I rub them way. I was tired of crying. Tired of chasing

anyone ever told you it’s rude to listen to other

my thoughts

stands near the kitchen counter. My now ex-husband, Rowan

pins

The only good thing in my life. His good looks are definitely curtesy of his dad. He has my brown hair and his penetrating grey

I give them

sandwich down and jumps down from the counter. He rushes to

he steps away from me and goes back

my home, but now I feel out of place in it.

truth though,

unknowingly, he built this house with HER in mind. This was HER dream house, everything

that he wasn’t planning on letting her go. That he wouldn’t reciprocate my love

here?” he asks in annoyance and stares at his watch. “You promised you

I could bring

time he looks at me like this, a

shattered my soul. I continued loving him. Holding on. Thinking things will

would finally get love. The love I’ve been craving since I was a child. I was wrong. Marriage turned to be a nightmare. I was always fighting with the ghost of his past. The ghost of a girl I could never measure up to no matter how

to ease the

still fucking hurts even though we’ve been separated

your room? Your mother and I need to discuss something” Rowan says through clenched teeth, the word mother slipping out

looks between us for a minute before

he