Ex-Husband's Regret

Divorce decree
I get out of my car and slowly walk towards the mansion. My hands were trembling and my body was sweaty.

I still couldn’t believe that it was done. That I was finally divorced from him. The proof of that was currently in my handbag. I was here to bring the final papers to him and to pick Noah up.

Entering the house, I follow the sounds of hushed voices but stop in my tracks when I near the kitchen.

Right now I could hear them clearly and what I heard encased my soul in ice.

“I still don’t understand why you can’t live with me and mommy?” Noah asks his father.

My shaking hands go to my chest. My heart breaking at the sadness in his voice. I would do anything for him, but this divorce was inevitable.

Our marriage had been a mistake. Everything about us was a mistake. It just took me a while to see the truth.

“You know why Noah, you mother and I are no longer together” His voice is soft as he replies.

It’s weird really. That during the duration of our marriage he has never once spoken to me softly. It was always cold. Always flat and devoid of any emotion

“But why?”

“These things just happen” he mumbles.

I can imagine his face frowning. As he tries to make Noah understand so that he doesn’t ask any more questions. But Noah is my son. Curiosity and inquisition is in his blood.

“Don’t you love her?”

My breath gets caught at the simple heartfelt question. I take a step back and lean against the wall. Heart racing, I wait in anticipation for his answer.

I knew his answer. I’ve always known what it is. Everyone with the exception of Noah probably knows that damn answer.

The truth is he doesn’t love me. Never had and never will. That was as clear as day. Knowing this, I still wanted to hear his reply. Would he tell our son the truth or lie to him?

He clears his throat, obviously stalling. “Noah…”

or not?” Noah asks again, his voice

love her for giving me you” he finally

a placation not

fills me. After all this time. It still hurts. I feel my heart breaking all over again. I don’t know why a small part of me had hoped that

to me. Not when we got married or when I gave birth to Noah, nor after in the years

back through the entire duration of our marriage. I gave him my all but he gave me nothing

but instead of two, there were three of us in our marriage. Him, me and the love of his life. The woman he’s

I was tired of

told you it’s rude to listen

the silent space. Interrupting my thoughts in the process. I square my shoulders and enter the

near the kitchen counter. My now ex-husband, Rowan

mocking grey eyes pins

thing in my life. His good looks are definitely curtesy of his dad. He has

I give them a small

jumps down from the counter. He rushes to

before he steps away from me and goes back to his

be my home, but now I feel out of

though, I

this house with HER in mind. This was HER dream house, everything

have been the first indication that he wasn’t planning on letting her go. That

doing here?” he asks in annoyance and stares at his watch.

got the divorce degree today and I thought I could bring you

his lips form a thin line. Every time he looks at me like this, a piece of

shattered my soul. I continued loving him. Holding on. Thinking things will change, but

I’ve been craving since I was a child. I was wrong. Marriage turned to be a nightmare. I was always

to ease the pain that was encased

does no good. It still fucking hurts even though we’ve been separated for

mother and I need to discuss something” Rowan says through clenched teeth, the word mother slipping out of his

for a minute before

fighting” he commands