Ex-Husband's Regret

Divorce decree
I get out of my car and slowly walk towards the mansion. My hands were trembling and my body was sweaty.

I still couldn’t believe that it was done. That I was finally divorced from him. The proof of that was currently in my handbag. I was here to bring the final papers to him and to pick Noah up.

Entering the house, I follow the sounds of hushed voices but stop in my tracks when I near the kitchen.

Right now I could hear them clearly and what I heard encased my soul in ice.

“I still don’t understand why you can’t live with me and mommy?” Noah asks his father.

My shaking hands go to my chest. My heart breaking at the sadness in his voice. I would do anything for him, but this divorce was inevitable.

Our marriage had been a mistake. Everything about us was a mistake. It just took me a while to see the truth.

“You know why Noah, you mother and I are no longer together” His voice is soft as he replies.

It’s weird really. That during the duration of our marriage he has never once spoken to me softly. It was always cold. Always flat and devoid of any emotion

“But why?”

“These things just happen” he mumbles.

I can imagine his face frowning. As he tries to make Noah understand so that he doesn’t ask any more questions. But Noah is my son. Curiosity and inquisition is in his blood.

“Don’t you love her?”

My breath gets caught at the simple heartfelt question. I take a step back and lean against the wall. Heart racing, I wait in anticipation for his answer.

I knew his answer. I’ve always known what it is. Everyone with the exception of Noah probably knows that damn answer.

The truth is he doesn’t love me. Never had and never will. That was as clear as day. Knowing this, I still wanted to hear his reply. Would he tell our son the truth or lie to him?

He clears his throat, obviously stalling. “Noah…”

or not?” Noah asks again, his

him sigh in defeat. “I love her for giving me

a placation not an

all this time. It still hurts. I feel my heart breaking all over again. I don’t know why a small part of me had

or when I gave birth to Noah, nor after in the years that had passed or when

the entire duration of our marriage. I gave him my all but he gave me nothing

of us in our marriage. Him, me and the love of his life. The woman he’s refused to let

way. I was tired of

anyone ever told you it’s rude

silent space. Interrupting my thoughts in the process. I square my shoulders and

kitchen

eyes pins me to the

and joy. The only good thing in my life. His good looks

give them a

mommy” Noah places his half eaten sandwich down and jumps down from the counter. He

I kiss his forehead before he steps away from me and goes back

This used to be my home, but now I feel out of place

truth though,

with HER in mind. This was HER dream house, everything down to

have been the first indication that he wasn’t planning on letting her go. That he wouldn’t reciprocate

he asks in annoyance and stares at his watch. “You promised you

the divorce degree today and I thought I could bring you the copy while I pick

turns stone cold and his lips form a thin line. Every time he looks at me like this, a piece of me breaks.

my heart and shattered my soul. I

been craving since I was a child. I was wrong. Marriage turned to be a nightmare. I was always fighting with the ghost of his past. The ghost

my chest. Trying to ease the pain that

good. It still fucking hurts

Your mother and I need to discuss something” Rowan says

between us for a minute

he