Ex-Husband's Regret

The past Nine years ago. My phones pings with a new notification waking me up from yet another restless sleep. For some reason, I haven’t been able to sleep well for the past two years. Part of me thinks it’s because of Rowan. That my heart and head aren’t at peace because he isn’t near me anymore. My restlessness started when he joined university two years ago. During the time he’s away at Uni, I rarely sleep but when he’s home for the breaks, I sleep like a baby. Groaning at yet another night without sleep, I wake up and check my phone. I’m surprised but it quickly turns to happiness when I see what the notification is. I paid someone money to install an app that lets me track Rowan every time he’s around. Right now it just notified me that he was home. Jumping out of bed, I get dressed quickly. He was probably back with Emma or maybe Travis or Gabe, but I didn’t mind. I just wanted to see him even if it’s from a far. Once I’m done getting ready, I sneak out through my bedroom window. I had the furthest room in the house. It’s nearly Impossible for my parents or the maids to hear me leaving. I get safely down and begin walking. Taking my phone out, I order an Uber. “This is a terrible idea!” a voice niggles in my sub–consciousness I ignore it. My head is already swimming with visions of my Rowan. I haven’t seen him in months and my eyes were dying to feast on him. “Ava, go back home. You’re making a mistake” the voice continues shouting. I stop in my tracks. That isn’t right. Nothing about Rowan would ever be a mistake. Cementing that in my head, I push all other thoughts to the back of my mind. Minutes later, my ride arrives. “Please, Ava, turn back” the damn voice pleads with me just as I am getting into the car. I feel torn. Like I was fighting against my own mind and body. Finally I manage to push the thought aside and get inside the car. +15 BONUS I should have listened to its warning. Another thirty minutes, we arrive at a bar. I pay the guy and get out. I stare at the dingy place wondering what the hell Rowan was doing here. This wasn’t his kind of scene. 1 Squaring my shoulders, I walk towards it and manage to get in using a fake ID. Quickly, I walk to a hidden spot and survey the place looking for him. I locate him within seconds, surprised to find he was alone. I stay hidden for a while. Waiting to see if any of the others will arrive but none of them do. He was here alone. “You’ve feasted your eyes, now let’s leave” damn that stupid voice. I ignore it completely. This might be my chance to get him to notice me. Now that he was here alone and Emma wasn’t by his side. I take a deep breath and walk the short distance to him. “Hey Rowan” I greet shyly. He turns and gives me a blinding smile. Catching me off guard. We rarely talk and he has always gone to great lengths to ignore and avoid me, so the smile catches me off guard. “It’s little Ava” he shouts. “How are you doing?” he asks

quiet Waiting for +15 BONUS “She doesn’t want to marry me” he says after a while. I stare at him. I was already feeling a kind of buzz. “Who? Emma?” “Yes, I asked her to marry me. I had the ring and I proposed. I even took her to a special place and got down on one knee. I did everything right but she still turned me down.” I look at him in shock. Unable to believe that he had asked her to marry him. I’m hurt, but I push it down. “She said that she wasn’t ready. That she wants to focus on school first. Why didn’t she want to marry me? Doesn’t she love me?” he ask, his voice full of hurt and pain. I didn’t know what to say. Part of me was glad she turned him down, while the other hurt on his behalf because I could see that it was tearing him apart. “You are awesome Rowan. If she doesn’t want to marry you then that’s her loss. I say fuck her, you can do so much better” I raise my drink up. He stares at me for a while before smiling. “You’re right, fuck her” he slurs as he clinks our glasses. I don’t know for how long we stay there. We talk, dance and drink. By the time we were leaving we were both drunk, him more so than me. He suggest I share his hotel room and I agree. I couldn’t go home drunk. My parents would skin me alive given I could barely stand straight. He calls a cab and a few minutes later we are in his room The moment the door closes behind us, he is on me. Kissing me and touching me. He rips my clothes off until I’m left in nothing but my panties. “Fuck! I’ve been waiting for this for

making love to. I look at him and push away my pain. He looked liked he needed someone, so I walk to him and place my hand on his shoulder. Trying to give him comfort. Instead he reacts violently. He pushes me so forcefully that I fall. “Don’t fucking touch you bitch!” he roars, anger and bitterness radiating off him in waves. 1 I stand up, tears filling my eyes. “Rowan, I never planned on this happening” I can tell he’s already lost to me. “Just fucking leave… I never want to see your face ever again” he says sitting down on the bed, heartbroken. Tears swimming in his eyes. The look on his face breaks my heart. He looked torn, shattered. I wanted to help him but I knew he wouldn’t accept my help. So instead I leave. I wanted this to be a bad dream, but it wasn’t. I had messed up big time. Two days later +15 BONUS ‘here is that fucking bitch?” I hear Emma scream from downstairs. y hearts pounds, almost breaking my chest. Deep down I knew that Rowan had told her the ath. She was now out to get blood. efore I can do hide like the coward I am, my bedroom door flies open and Emma walks in. She as crying, mascara was running down her face, a battle between anger and pain waging war in er eyes. don’t have time to