The Howell’s
It was almost noon when I wake up. At first I thought that everything was as it was supposed to
be, but then everything comes crashing down on me. It wasn’t a bad dream like I had thought.
Ethan had really betrayed me.
I feel my tears well up. I cried myself to sleep yesterday and I was just so damn tired of crying. I
went to bed wishing that it would all change when I woke up. Praying for a miracle, but here I am.
Nothing’s changed. What I wanted to be nothing but a nightmare, was now my reality.
I slowly get out of bed. I had no energy to do anything, but I also knew I couldn’t sleep and wallow
in bed all day.
I take a long shower hoping it will make things better. It doesn’t. I don’t think anything can make
everything that happened better.
After dressing in a t–shirt and some yoga pants, I go to the kitchen for something to eat. I was just
taking out some eggs when my doorbell rang. I heave a sigh of defeat. I wasn’t in the mood to see
anyone. I just wanted to be left alone.
“Hi” Letty says with a small smile when I open the door.
She looks as tired and worn as I am. Hers is probably more physical unlike mine which is both
physical and psychological.
“Hi Letty” I stand awkwardly at the door.
I didn’t want to be rude but I also didn’t want anyone near me or around me. Like I said, I wanted to
be left alone to come to terms with all that I learned yesterday.
“I know you probably don’t to see anyone right now, but can I please come in?” she pleads.
It still surprises me how well we’ve come to know each other. It’s like we’ve known each other for
years, instead of months.
I let out a breath. “Yeah sure”
It as she walks in that I notice she has a couple of boxes with her.
“Food” she says and I nod.
feel like cooking even though I
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the living room instead. Seating down on the big sofa,
boxes of food.
don’t talk as we eat. Both of us seemingly lost in
how are you? I’m worried about you Ava. This can’t be easy for you” she says after we are
eating.
that I was okay. Just to get her
most of the time
as that thought crosses my mind, I push it away. I needed to talk because I felt like I
drowning.
still having a hard time accepting that Ethan isn’t the
thought were my
two was harder to accept. I keep asking myself
me. If life would have been
me from ever meeting Rowan, but then I would never have
how things would be different had
all over again
miss him. Now more than ever I wish Noah was here
anchor.
can’t even begin to imagine all you must be feeling. I don’t even know
comfort” Letty says, pulling me back
and smile a little. She really
I don’t mind that though. Her realness was better than someone pretending to know how
feel.
Not to mention that it hurts. I was finally
finally gotten a guy that would love me
me” I blink away the tears, not wanting to
man that played and
for using me for sex while he thought
me for sex
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out as rude but I’m gonna hit you with the
were thinking the whole time, then I would have put a stop to
are you talking
love you” She sighs again. “How do I put this out without hurting you further you went into a relationship with Ethan wanting
build you whole expectation on someone else. You can’t think that a man loving
and you
say anything before
You think when you find the man that will love you then everything will fall into place. The only person who can fill that hole in your heart is you You alone can love yourself the way you want
back of the couch
wrong” I glare at her feeling a bit attacked
“Am 17”
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