Ex-Husband's Regret

Chapter 54

The Howell’s
It was almost noon when I wake up. At first I thought that everything was as it was supposed to

be, but then everything comes crashing down on me. It wasn’t a bad dream like I had thought.

Ethan had really betrayed me.

I feel my tears well up. I cried myself to sleep yesterday and I was just so damn tired of crying. I

went to bed wishing that it would all change when I woke up. Praying for a miracle, but here I am.

Nothing’s changed. What I wanted to be nothing but a nightmare, was now my reality.

I slowly get out of bed. I had no energy to do anything, but I also knew I couldn’t sleep and wallow

in bed all day.

I take a long shower hoping it will make things better. It doesn’t. I don’t think anything can make

everything that happened better.

After dressing in a t–shirt and some yoga pants, I go to the kitchen for something to eat. I was just

taking out some eggs when my doorbell rang. I heave a sigh of defeat. I wasn’t in the mood to see

anyone. I just wanted to be left alone.

“Hi” Letty says with a small smile when I open the door.

She looks as tired and worn as I am. Hers is probably more physical unlike mine which is both

physical and psychological.

“Hi Letty” I stand awkwardly at the door.

I didn’t want to be rude but I also didn’t want anyone near me or around me. Like I said, I wanted to

be left alone to come to terms with all that I learned yesterday.

“I know you probably don’t to see anyone right now, but can I please come in?” she pleads.

It still surprises me how well we’ve come to know each other. It’s like we’ve known each other for

years, instead of months.

I let out a breath. “Yeah sure”

It as she walks in that I notice she has a couple of boxes with her.

“Food” she says and I nod.

am grateful. I really didn’t feel like cooking even though I was

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on the big sofa, Letty joins me and

boxes of food.

eat. Both of us seemingly lost in our

I’m worried about you Ava. This can’t be easy for you” she says

eating.

I think about lying to her that I was

most of the time than to

soon as that thought crosses my mind, I push it away. I needed to talk because I

drowning.

having a hard time accepting that Ethan isn’t

thought were my family aren’t really

know which of the two was harder to accept. I keep asking myself if things

been great

me from ever meeting Rowan, but then I

of how things would be different had I not met Rowan, I

over again if it meant having my son

than ever I wish Noah was

anchor.

can’t even begin to imagine all you must be feeling. I

says, pulling me back

and smile a little. She really wasn’t good at comforting someone or

though. Her realness was better than someone

feel.

Not

I thought that I’d finally gotten a

me” I

a man that played and

know who is worse. Rowan for using me for sex while he thought about

for playing me and still using me for

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as rude but I’m gonna hit you with the truth. If I

you were thinking the whole time,

are you

out without hurting you further you

build you whole expectation on someone else. You can’t think that a man

hole Rowan and you family

say anything

fall into place. The only person who can fill that hole in your heart is you You alone can love yourself the way you want to be loved. You have to love yourself first and judging from the way I see things, you have never loved yourself” She slumps against

back of the couch

I glare at her

“Am 17”

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