Ex-Husband's Regret

Chapter 54

The Howell’s
It was almost noon when I wake up. At first I thought that everything was as it was supposed to

be, but then everything comes crashing down on me. It wasn’t a bad dream like I had thought.

Ethan had really betrayed me.

I feel my tears well up. I cried myself to sleep yesterday and I was just so damn tired of crying. I

went to bed wishing that it would all change when I woke up. Praying for a miracle, but here I am.

Nothing’s changed. What I wanted to be nothing but a nightmare, was now my reality.

I slowly get out of bed. I had no energy to do anything, but I also knew I couldn’t sleep and wallow

in bed all day.

I take a long shower hoping it will make things better. It doesn’t. I don’t think anything can make

everything that happened better.

After dressing in a t–shirt and some yoga pants, I go to the kitchen for something to eat. I was just

taking out some eggs when my doorbell rang. I heave a sigh of defeat. I wasn’t in the mood to see

anyone. I just wanted to be left alone.

“Hi” Letty says with a small smile when I open the door.

She looks as tired and worn as I am. Hers is probably more physical unlike mine which is both

physical and psychological.

“Hi Letty” I stand awkwardly at the door.

I didn’t want to be rude but I also didn’t want anyone near me or around me. Like I said, I wanted to

be left alone to come to terms with all that I learned yesterday.

“I know you probably don’t to see anyone right now, but can I please come in?” she pleads.

It still surprises me how well we’ve come to know each other. It’s like we’ve known each other for

years, instead of months.

I let out a breath. “Yeah sure”

It as she walks in that I notice she has a couple of boxes with her.

“Food” she says and I nod.

I really didn’t feel like cooking even though I

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to the living room instead. Seating down on the big sofa, Letty joins me and sets down

boxes of food.

don’t talk as we eat.

can’t be

eating.

a moment I think about lying to her that I was okay. Just to get

to pretend most of the time than to face

crosses my mind, I push it away. I needed to talk because I felt like I

drowning.

hard time accepting

I thought were my family aren’t really blood

was harder to

me. If life would have been

me from ever meeting Rowan, but

things would be different had I not

everything all over again if it

him. Now more than ever I wish Noah

anchor.

even begin to imagine all you must be feeling. I

pulling me back from my

She really wasn’t good at comforting

was

feel.

Not to

I thought that I’d finally gotten a guy that would love me and

from me” I blink away the tears, not wanting to

for a man that played and toyed with

worse. Rowan for using

still using me

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to come out as rude but I’m gonna hit you with the truth. If I knew

the whole time, then I would have put

are you talking

out without hurting you further you went into

someone else. You can’t think that a man loving you

and you family

say anything before she

now. You think when you find the man that will love you then everything will fall into place. The only person who can fill that hole in your heart is you You alone can love yourself the way you want to be loved. You have to love yourself first and judging from the way I see things, you have never loved yourself” She slumps against

back of the couch

at her feeling a bit attacked

“Am 17”

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