Ex-Husband's Regret

Chapter 54

The Howell’s
It was almost noon when I wake up. At first I thought that everything was as it was supposed to

be, but then everything comes crashing down on me. It wasn’t a bad dream like I had thought.

Ethan had really betrayed me.

I feel my tears well up. I cried myself to sleep yesterday and I was just so damn tired of crying. I

went to bed wishing that it would all change when I woke up. Praying for a miracle, but here I am.

Nothing’s changed. What I wanted to be nothing but a nightmare, was now my reality.

I slowly get out of bed. I had no energy to do anything, but I also knew I couldn’t sleep and wallow

in bed all day.

I take a long shower hoping it will make things better. It doesn’t. I don’t think anything can make

everything that happened better.

After dressing in a t–shirt and some yoga pants, I go to the kitchen for something to eat. I was just

taking out some eggs when my doorbell rang. I heave a sigh of defeat. I wasn’t in the mood to see

anyone. I just wanted to be left alone.

“Hi” Letty says with a small smile when I open the door.

She looks as tired and worn as I am. Hers is probably more physical unlike mine which is both

physical and psychological.

“Hi Letty” I stand awkwardly at the door.

I didn’t want to be rude but I also didn’t want anyone near me or around me. Like I said, I wanted to

be left alone to come to terms with all that I learned yesterday.

“I know you probably don’t to see anyone right now, but can I please come in?” she pleads.

It still surprises me how well we’ve come to know each other. It’s like we’ve known each other for

years, instead of months.

I let out a breath. “Yeah sure”

It as she walks in that I notice she has a couple of boxes with her.

“Food” she says and I nod.

feel like cooking

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living room instead. Seating down on the big sofa, Letty joins me and sets

boxes of food.

immediately dig in. We don’t talk as we eat.

how are you? I’m worried about you Ava. This can’t be easy

eating.

a moment I think about lying to her that I was okay. Just to get her off my

to pretend most of

that thought crosses my mind, I push it away. I

drowning.

still having a hard time accepting that Ethan isn’t the man I thought he

that the people I thought were my family

know which of the two was harder to accept. I keep asking myself

better for me. If life would have been great had I been raised by

ever meeting Rowan, but then

be different had I not met Rowan, I turn

everything all over again if it meant having my son

Now more than ever I wish Noah was here with me. He has always been

anchor.

begin to imagine all you must be feeling. I don’t

pulling me

little. She really wasn’t good at comforting

though. Her realness was better

feel.

Letty. I’m just having a hard time. Not to mention that it hurts. I was

that I’d finally gotten a guy that would love me

into anything, it gets ripped away from me” I blink away the tears,

anymore. Especially for a man that played and toyed with

worse. Rowan for using me

playing me and still using me for

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rude but I’m gonna hit you with the truth.

thinking the whole time, then I

you

men to love you” She sighs again. “How do I put this out without hurting you further you went into a

build you whole expectation on someone else. You can’t think that a man

hole Rowan and you family

say anything before

until now. You think when you find the man that will love you then everything will fall into place. The only person who can fill that hole in your heart is you You alone can love yourself the way you want to be loved. You have to love yourself first and judging

back of the couch

I glare at her

“Am 17”

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