The Howell’s
It was almost noon when I wake up. At first I thought that everything was as it was supposed to

be, but then everything comes crashing down on me. It wasn’t a bad dream like I had thought.

Ethan had really betrayed me.

I feel my tears well up. I cried myself to sleep yesterday and I was just so damn tired of crying. I

went to bed wishing that it would all change when I woke up. Praying for a miracle, but here I am.

Nothing’s changed. What I wanted to be nothing but a nightmare, was now my reality.

I slowly get out of bed. I had no energy to do anything, but I also knew I couldn’t sleep and wallow

in bed all day.

I take a long shower hoping it will make things better. It doesn’t. I don’t think anything can make

everything that happened better.

After dressing in a t–shirt and some yoga pants, I go to the kitchen for something to eat. I was just

taking out some eggs when my doorbell rang. I heave a sigh of defeat. I wasn’t in the mood to see

anyone. I just wanted to be left alone.

“Hi” Letty says with a small smile when I open the door.

She looks as tired and worn as I am. Hers is probably more physical unlike mine which is both

physical and psychological.

“Hi Letty” I stand awkwardly at the door.

I didn’t want to be rude but I also didn’t want anyone near me or around me. Like I said, I wanted to

be left alone to come to terms with all that I learned yesterday.

“I know you probably don’t to see anyone right now, but can I please come in?” she pleads.

It still surprises me how well we’ve come to know each other. It’s like we’ve known each other for

years, instead of months.

I let out a breath. “Yeah sure”

It as she walks in that I notice she has a couple of boxes with her.

“Food” she says and I nod.

I really didn’t feel like cooking

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living room instead. Seating down on the big sofa, Letty joins me

boxes of food.

immediately dig in. We don’t talk as we eat. Both of us seemingly lost in our

This can’t

eating.

a moment I think about lying to her that I was okay. Just to

most of the time than to face

mind, I push it away. I needed to talk

drowning.

begin. “I’m still having a hard time accepting that Ethan isn’t

thought were my family aren’t

was harder to

better for me. If life would have been great

would have saved me from ever meeting Rowan, but

how things would be different had I not met Rowan, I turn back from

again if it meant having my son

wish Noah was here with me.

anchor.

imagine all you must be feeling. I don’t even know where

pulling

little. She really wasn’t good

I don’t mind that though. Her realness was better than

feel.

Letty. I’m just having a hard time. Not

gotten a guy that

ripped away from me” I blink away the tears, not wanting

man

Rowan for using

me for sex while he planned on

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want to come out as rude but I’m gonna hit you with the truth. If I

time, then I would have put a stop to

you

again. “How do I put this out without hurting you

someone else. You can’t think that a man loving you will

Rowan and you family

to say anything before she

never saw it until now. You think when you find the man that will love you then everything will fall into place. The only person who can fill that hole in your heart is you You alone can love yourself

back of the couch

her feeling a bit attacked

“Am 17”

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