The Howell’s
It was almost noon when I wake up. At first I thought that everything was as it was supposed to

be, but then everything comes crashing down on me. It wasn’t a bad dream like I had thought.

Ethan had really betrayed me.

I feel my tears well up. I cried myself to sleep yesterday and I was just so damn tired of crying. I

went to bed wishing that it would all change when I woke up. Praying for a miracle, but here I am.

Nothing’s changed. What I wanted to be nothing but a nightmare, was now my reality.

I slowly get out of bed. I had no energy to do anything, but I also knew I couldn’t sleep and wallow

in bed all day.

I take a long shower hoping it will make things better. It doesn’t. I don’t think anything can make

everything that happened better.

After dressing in a t–shirt and some yoga pants, I go to the kitchen for something to eat. I was just

taking out some eggs when my doorbell rang. I heave a sigh of defeat. I wasn’t in the mood to see

anyone. I just wanted to be left alone.

“Hi” Letty says with a small smile when I open the door.

She looks as tired and worn as I am. Hers is probably more physical unlike mine which is both

physical and psychological.

“Hi Letty” I stand awkwardly at the door.

I didn’t want to be rude but I also didn’t want anyone near me or around me. Like I said, I wanted to

be left alone to come to terms with all that I learned yesterday.

“I know you probably don’t to see anyone right now, but can I please come in?” she pleads.

It still surprises me how well we’ve come to know each other. It’s like we’ve known each other for

years, instead of months.

I let out a breath. “Yeah sure”

It as she walks in that I notice she has a couple of boxes with her.

“Food” she says and I nod.

am grateful. I really didn’t feel like

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instead. Seating down on the big sofa, Letty joins

boxes of food.

We don’t talk as we eat. Both of us seemingly

are you? I’m worried about you Ava. This can’t be easy for you” she

eating.

her that I was okay. Just to get her off my

easier to pretend most of the time than

thought crosses my mind, I push it away. I needed to talk because

drowning.

time accepting that Ethan isn’t the man I thought he

that the people I thought were my family aren’t really blood

don’t know which of the two was harder to

would have been great had I been raised by my real

have saved me from ever meeting Rowan, but then I would never

had I not met Rowan,

do everything all over again

than ever I wish Noah was here with

anchor.

you must be feeling. I don’t even know where

Letty says, pulling me back from

at her and smile a little. She really

that though. Her realness was better than someone

feel.

Letty. I’m just having a hard time. Not to mention that it hurts. I

gotten a guy that would love me

me”

anymore. Especially for a man that played and toyed

worse. Rowan for using me for sex

for playing me and still using me for sex while

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want to come out as rude but

time, then I would

you talking

out

else. You can’t think that a

Rowan and

say anything

and I never saw it until now. You think when you find the man that will love you then everything will fall into place. The only person who can fill that hole in your heart is you You alone can love yourself the way you want to be loved. You have to love yourself first and judging from the way I see things, you have never

back of the couch

her

“Am 17”

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