The Howell’s
It was almost noon when I wake up. At first I thought that everything was as it was supposed to

be, but then everything comes crashing down on me. It wasn’t a bad dream like I had thought.

Ethan had really betrayed me.

I feel my tears well up. I cried myself to sleep yesterday and I was just so damn tired of crying. I

went to bed wishing that it would all change when I woke up. Praying for a miracle, but here I am.

Nothing’s changed. What I wanted to be nothing but a nightmare, was now my reality.

I slowly get out of bed. I had no energy to do anything, but I also knew I couldn’t sleep and wallow

in bed all day.

I take a long shower hoping it will make things better. It doesn’t. I don’t think anything can make

everything that happened better.

After dressing in a t–shirt and some yoga pants, I go to the kitchen for something to eat. I was just

taking out some eggs when my doorbell rang. I heave a sigh of defeat. I wasn’t in the mood to see

anyone. I just wanted to be left alone.

“Hi” Letty says with a small smile when I open the door.

She looks as tired and worn as I am. Hers is probably more physical unlike mine which is both

physical and psychological.

“Hi Letty” I stand awkwardly at the door.

I didn’t want to be rude but I also didn’t want anyone near me or around me. Like I said, I wanted to

be left alone to come to terms with all that I learned yesterday.

“I know you probably don’t to see anyone right now, but can I please come in?” she pleads.

It still surprises me how well we’ve come to know each other. It’s like we’ve known each other for

years, instead of months.

I let out a breath. “Yeah sure”

It as she walks in that I notice she has a couple of boxes with her.

“Food” she says and I nod.

didn’t feel like cooking even though I

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to the living room instead. Seating down on the big sofa, Letty joins

boxes of food.

We don’t talk as we eat. Both of us seemingly lost in our

about you Ava. This can’t be easy for

eating.

about lying to her that I was okay.

most of the time

as that thought crosses my mind, I push it away. I needed to talk

drowning.

“I’m still having a hard time accepting

were my family

was harder to accept. I keep asking myself if things would

better for me. If life would have been great had I been raised

ever meeting Rowan, but then I

be different had I not met Rowan, I

everything all over again if it meant having

I wish Noah was

anchor.

even begin to imagine all you must be feeling. I don’t even know where

says, pulling me

really

mind that though. Her realness was better than someone

feel.

a hard time. Not

know? I thought that I’d finally gotten

me” I

man that

who is worse. Rowan for using me

and still using me for sex while he planned on

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want to come out as rude but I’m gonna hit you with

you were thinking the whole time, then I

are you talking

men to love you” She sighs again. “How do I put this out without hurting you further you went into a relationship with Ethan wanting someone to

You

hole Rowan and

say anything

place. The only person who can fill that hole in your heart is you You alone can love yourself the way you want to be

back of the couch

I glare at her feeling a bit attacked and

“Am 17”

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