Ex-Husband's Regret

Chapter 54

The Howell’s
It was almost noon when I wake up. At first I thought that everything was as it was supposed to

be, but then everything comes crashing down on me. It wasn’t a bad dream like I had thought.

Ethan had really betrayed me.

I feel my tears well up. I cried myself to sleep yesterday and I was just so damn tired of crying. I

went to bed wishing that it would all change when I woke up. Praying for a miracle, but here I am.

Nothing’s changed. What I wanted to be nothing but a nightmare, was now my reality.

I slowly get out of bed. I had no energy to do anything, but I also knew I couldn’t sleep and wallow

in bed all day.

I take a long shower hoping it will make things better. It doesn’t. I don’t think anything can make

everything that happened better.

After dressing in a t–shirt and some yoga pants, I go to the kitchen for something to eat. I was just

taking out some eggs when my doorbell rang. I heave a sigh of defeat. I wasn’t in the mood to see

anyone. I just wanted to be left alone.

“Hi” Letty says with a small smile when I open the door.

She looks as tired and worn as I am. Hers is probably more physical unlike mine which is both

physical and psychological.

“Hi Letty” I stand awkwardly at the door.

I didn’t want to be rude but I also didn’t want anyone near me or around me. Like I said, I wanted to

be left alone to come to terms with all that I learned yesterday.

“I know you probably don’t to see anyone right now, but can I please come in?” she pleads.

It still surprises me how well we’ve come to know each other. It’s like we’ve known each other for

years, instead of months.

I let out a breath. “Yeah sure”

It as she walks in that I notice she has a couple of boxes with her.

“Food” she says and I nod.

grateful. I really didn’t feel like cooking even though I

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to the living room instead. Seating down on the big sofa, Letty joins

boxes of food.

dig in. We don’t talk as we eat. Both

how are you? I’m worried about you Ava. This can’t be easy for

eating.

to her that I was okay. Just to

pretend most of the time

as that thought crosses my mind, I push it away. I needed to talk because I

drowning.

isn’t” I begin. “I’m still having a hard time accepting that Ethan isn’t the man

I thought were my family

don’t know which of the two was harder to accept. I keep asking myself if things

for me. If life would have been great had I been raised by my real

have saved me from ever meeting Rowan, but

things would be different had I not met Rowan, I

everything all over again if it meant having my son

miss him. Now more than ever I wish

anchor.

can’t even begin to imagine all you must be feeling. I don’t even know where to begin in

says, pulling me back

smile a little. She really wasn’t good at comforting

Her realness was better than someone

feel.

I’m just having a hard time. Not

that I’d finally gotten a guy that would love

ripped away from me” I

a man that

worse. Rowan for using me for sex

using me for sex while he

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but I’m

you were thinking the whole time, then I would have put a stop

you talking

I put this out without hurting you

expectation on someone else. You can’t think that a man loving you

Rowan and you

say anything before she

fall into place. The only person who can fill that hole in your heart is you You alone can love yourself the way you want to be loved. You have to love yourself first and

back of the couch

glare at her

“Am 17”

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