Ex-Husband's Regret

Chapter 54

The Howell’s
It was almost noon when I wake up. At first I thought that everything was as it was supposed to

be, but then everything comes crashing down on me. It wasn’t a bad dream like I had thought.

Ethan had really betrayed me.

I feel my tears well up. I cried myself to sleep yesterday and I was just so damn tired of crying. I

went to bed wishing that it would all change when I woke up. Praying for a miracle, but here I am.

Nothing’s changed. What I wanted to be nothing but a nightmare, was now my reality.

I slowly get out of bed. I had no energy to do anything, but I also knew I couldn’t sleep and wallow

in bed all day.

I take a long shower hoping it will make things better. It doesn’t. I don’t think anything can make

everything that happened better.

After dressing in a t–shirt and some yoga pants, I go to the kitchen for something to eat. I was just

taking out some eggs when my doorbell rang. I heave a sigh of defeat. I wasn’t in the mood to see

anyone. I just wanted to be left alone.

“Hi” Letty says with a small smile when I open the door.

She looks as tired and worn as I am. Hers is probably more physical unlike mine which is both

physical and psychological.

“Hi Letty” I stand awkwardly at the door.

I didn’t want to be rude but I also didn’t want anyone near me or around me. Like I said, I wanted to

be left alone to come to terms with all that I learned yesterday.

“I know you probably don’t to see anyone right now, but can I please come in?” she pleads.

It still surprises me how well we’ve come to know each other. It’s like we’ve known each other for

years, instead of months.

I let out a breath. “Yeah sure”

It as she walks in that I notice she has a couple of boxes with her.

“Food” she says and I nod.

really didn’t feel like cooking even though I

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to the living room instead. Seating down on the big sofa, Letty joins me and sets

boxes of food.

dig in. We don’t talk as we eat. Both of us seemingly lost in

are you? I’m worried about you Ava. This can’t be easy for you” she

eating.

that I was okay. Just

easier to pretend most of the time than

mind, I push it away. I needed to talk because I

drowning.

still having a hard time accepting that Ethan isn’t

thought were my family aren’t

two was harder to

been great had I been raised

from ever meeting Rowan, but then I

think of how things would be different had

I would do everything all over again if it

him. Now more than ever I wish Noah was here with me. He

anchor.

must be feeling. I don’t even know where

pulling me back from

really wasn’t good at comforting someone or making

though. Her realness was better than someone pretending

feel.

Not to mention that

on, you know? I thought that I’d finally gotten a guy that

me” I blink away the

Especially for a man that played

for using me for sex while he thought about Emma

and still using me

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but I’m gonna hit you with the truth. If

the whole time, then I would have put a

you talking

this out without hurting you

else. You can’t

and you family

to say

this fantasy and I never saw it until now. You think when you find the man that will love you then everything will fall into place. The only person who can fill that hole in your heart is you You alone can love yourself the way you want to be loved. You have to love yourself first and judging from the way I see things, you have never loved yourself”

back of the couch

at her feeling a bit attacked

“Am 17”

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