Ex-Husband's Regret

Chapter 54

The Howell’s
It was almost noon when I wake up. At first I thought that everything was as it was supposed to

be, but then everything comes crashing down on me. It wasn’t a bad dream like I had thought.

Ethan had really betrayed me.

I feel my tears well up. I cried myself to sleep yesterday and I was just so damn tired of crying. I

went to bed wishing that it would all change when I woke up. Praying for a miracle, but here I am.

Nothing’s changed. What I wanted to be nothing but a nightmare, was now my reality.

I slowly get out of bed. I had no energy to do anything, but I also knew I couldn’t sleep and wallow

in bed all day.

I take a long shower hoping it will make things better. It doesn’t. I don’t think anything can make

everything that happened better.

After dressing in a t–shirt and some yoga pants, I go to the kitchen for something to eat. I was just

taking out some eggs when my doorbell rang. I heave a sigh of defeat. I wasn’t in the mood to see

anyone. I just wanted to be left alone.

“Hi” Letty says with a small smile when I open the door.

She looks as tired and worn as I am. Hers is probably more physical unlike mine which is both

physical and psychological.

“Hi Letty” I stand awkwardly at the door.

I didn’t want to be rude but I also didn’t want anyone near me or around me. Like I said, I wanted to

be left alone to come to terms with all that I learned yesterday.

“I know you probably don’t to see anyone right now, but can I please come in?” she pleads.

It still surprises me how well we’ve come to know each other. It’s like we’ve known each other for

years, instead of months.

I let out a breath. “Yeah sure”

It as she walks in that I notice she has a couple of boxes with her.

“Food” she says and I nod.

grateful. I really didn’t feel like cooking

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the living room instead. Seating down on the big

boxes of food.

in. We don’t talk as we eat. Both of us seemingly lost in

This can’t be easy for you” she

eating.

moment I think about lying to her that I was okay.

to pretend most of the time than to face

push it away. I needed to talk because I felt like

drowning.

“I’m still having a hard time accepting that Ethan isn’t the

were my family aren’t

harder to accept. I keep

for me. If life would have been

have saved me from ever meeting Rowan, but then I would never have had

how things would be different had I not met

again if it meant having my son

than ever I wish Noah was here with me. He has always been

anchor.

must be

says, pulling me back from my

look at her and smile a little. She really wasn’t good at comforting someone or making

though. Her realness was better than someone

feel.

I’m just having a hard time. Not to mention

finally gotten a guy that would

blossom into anything, it gets ripped away from me” I

for a man that played and toyed

know who is worse. Rowan for using me for sex while he thought

using me for sex while he planned

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want to come out as rude but I’m gonna hit you with the

thinking the whole time, then I would have put a

you

again. “How do I put this out without hurting you

else. You can’t think that a man

Rowan and you

say anything before she

the man that will love you then everything will fall into place. The only person who can fill that hole in your heart is you You alone can love yourself the way you want to be loved. You have to love yourself first and judging from the way I see things, you have never loved yourself”

back of the couch

wrong” I glare at her

“Am 17”

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