Ex-Husband's Regret

Chapter 54

The Howell’s
It was almost noon when I wake up. At first I thought that everything was as it was supposed to

be, but then everything comes crashing down on me. It wasn’t a bad dream like I had thought.

Ethan had really betrayed me.

I feel my tears well up. I cried myself to sleep yesterday and I was just so damn tired of crying. I

went to bed wishing that it would all change when I woke up. Praying for a miracle, but here I am.

Nothing’s changed. What I wanted to be nothing but a nightmare, was now my reality.

I slowly get out of bed. I had no energy to do anything, but I also knew I couldn’t sleep and wallow

in bed all day.

I take a long shower hoping it will make things better. It doesn’t. I don’t think anything can make

everything that happened better.

After dressing in a t–shirt and some yoga pants, I go to the kitchen for something to eat. I was just

taking out some eggs when my doorbell rang. I heave a sigh of defeat. I wasn’t in the mood to see

anyone. I just wanted to be left alone.

“Hi” Letty says with a small smile when I open the door.

She looks as tired and worn as I am. Hers is probably more physical unlike mine which is both

physical and psychological.

“Hi Letty” I stand awkwardly at the door.

I didn’t want to be rude but I also didn’t want anyone near me or around me. Like I said, I wanted to

be left alone to come to terms with all that I learned yesterday.

“I know you probably don’t to see anyone right now, but can I please come in?” she pleads.

It still surprises me how well we’ve come to know each other. It’s like we’ve known each other for

years, instead of months.

I let out a breath. “Yeah sure”

It as she walks in that I notice she has a couple of boxes with her.

“Food” she says and I nod.

feel like cooking even though

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down on the big sofa, Letty

boxes of food.

eat. Both of us seemingly lost in

you? I’m worried about you Ava. This can’t

eating.

I was

easier to pretend most of the

my mind, I push it away. I needed to talk because I

drowning.

time accepting that Ethan isn’t the man I thought he

people I thought were my family aren’t really

know which of the two was harder to accept. I keep asking myself if things

would have been great had I been

me from ever meeting Rowan,

how things would be different had I not met Rowan, I turn back

I would do everything all over again if it meant having my son

miss him. Now more than ever I wish

anchor.

imagine all you must be feeling. I don’t even know where

says, pulling

little. She really wasn’t good at comforting someone

don’t mind that though. Her realness was better

feel.

having a hard time. Not to mention that it hurts. I was

I thought that I’d finally gotten a guy that would love me and

ripped away from me” I blink away the tears, not wanting to

for a man

worse. Rowan for using me for sex while he thought about

and still using me for sex while he planned

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sighs. “I don’t want to come out as rude but I’m gonna hit you with the truth. If

you were thinking the whole time, then I would have put a stop to

are you talking

you” She sighs again. “How do I put this out without hurting you

build you whole expectation on someone else. You can’t think that

hole Rowan and you family

to say anything

love you then everything will fall into place. The only person who can fill that hole in your heart is you You alone can love yourself the way you want to be loved. You have to love yourself first and judging from the way I see things, you have never loved yourself” She

back of the couch

I glare at her feeling a bit attacked and

“Am 17”

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