Ex-Husband's Regret

Chapter 54

The Howell’s
It was almost noon when I wake up. At first I thought that everything was as it was supposed to

be, but then everything comes crashing down on me. It wasn’t a bad dream like I had thought.

Ethan had really betrayed me.

I feel my tears well up. I cried myself to sleep yesterday and I was just so damn tired of crying. I

went to bed wishing that it would all change when I woke up. Praying for a miracle, but here I am.

Nothing’s changed. What I wanted to be nothing but a nightmare, was now my reality.

I slowly get out of bed. I had no energy to do anything, but I also knew I couldn’t sleep and wallow

in bed all day.

I take a long shower hoping it will make things better. It doesn’t. I don’t think anything can make

everything that happened better.

After dressing in a t–shirt and some yoga pants, I go to the kitchen for something to eat. I was just

taking out some eggs when my doorbell rang. I heave a sigh of defeat. I wasn’t in the mood to see

anyone. I just wanted to be left alone.

“Hi” Letty says with a small smile when I open the door.

She looks as tired and worn as I am. Hers is probably more physical unlike mine which is both

physical and psychological.

“Hi Letty” I stand awkwardly at the door.

I didn’t want to be rude but I also didn’t want anyone near me or around me. Like I said, I wanted to

be left alone to come to terms with all that I learned yesterday.

“I know you probably don’t to see anyone right now, but can I please come in?” she pleads.

It still surprises me how well we’ve come to know each other. It’s like we’ve known each other for

years, instead of months.

I let out a breath. “Yeah sure”

It as she walks in that I notice she has a couple of boxes with her.

“Food” she says and I nod.

grateful. I really didn’t feel like cooking even though

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room instead. Seating down on the big sofa, Letty joins me and sets

boxes of food.

talk as we eat. Both

how are you? I’m worried about you Ava. This can’t be

eating.

I think about lying to her that I was okay. Just to get her off my back. Besides,

easier to pretend most of the time than to face

my mind, I push it away. I needed to talk because I felt like

drowning.

begin. “I’m still having a hard time accepting that Ethan isn’t the man I

the people I thought were my family aren’t

was harder to accept. I keep asking myself if things would

If life would have been great had I been raised by my

ever meeting Rowan, but

things would be different had I not met Rowan,

would do everything all over again if it meant having my

wish

anchor.

begin to imagine all you must be feeling. I

comfort” Letty says, pulling

at her and smile a little. She really wasn’t good at comforting someone or

I don’t mind that though. Her realness was better than

feel.

a hard time. Not to

you know? I thought that I’d finally gotten a guy that would love me and

gets ripped away from me” I blink away the tears,

man that played and toyed

worse. Rowan for using me for sex while he thought

for playing me and still using me for sex while he planned on

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“I don’t want to come out as rude but I’m gonna hit you with the truth.

thinking the whole time, then I would have put a stop to

are you

sighs again. “How do I put this out without hurting you further you went into a relationship with Ethan wanting

build you whole expectation on someone else. You can’t think

hole Rowan and

to say

when you find the man that will love you then everything will fall into place. The only person who can fill that hole in your heart is you You alone can love yourself the way you want to be loved. You have to love yourself first and

back of the couch

her feeling a bit attacked

“Am 17”

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