Ex-Husband's Regret

Late Realizations.
Rowan.

I stare at the door, wondering what the hell I was doing here. I should give Ava her space, but fuck it. I can’t seem to stay away from her. I’m drawn to her in a way I can’t fucking explain.

Knocking, I wait rather impatiently for the door to be opened. A minute later, the door opens

revealing Noah.

“Dad” he throws himself at him and I catch him. “I thought I would have to wait till Saturday to

see you”

I hug him close to me. Feeling myself relax and melt. “Hey buddy”

How could I ever have hated Ava? I wonder. She gave me the best gift when she gave birth to Noah. I should have appreciated her then instead of punishing her. The night I thought was the

worst night of my life, brought about the best gift I could have gotten.

I didn’t see it then because I had my head so up my ass I couldn’t see straight. My eyes are opened

now. I see it so fucking clearly. Ava was right. I used to regret that night not realizing that without

there wouldn’t be Noah and no matter what, I would never regret my son.

that night happening

“Come in. Mom is in the shower. She said she needed to soak her tired, aching bones.” He informs

me. “I’m having my dinner and there is enough. You can have some if you haven’t eaten dinner
yet”

He leads me into the kitchen. He gets on the stool and resumes eating after pointing to the food. I

shamelessly take a plate and pile food on it.

I didn’t appreciate it when we were married. Taking the small things for granted. I admit that I’ve missed her cooking.

“So…Mom is a real catch” Noah begins making, me turn to him.

“Yes” I agree, not really sure where he was going with this.

“A lot of good looking guys want her…just a few days ago there was a man here who’d come to visit her. I wonder who’ll get her as his wife” he says it so casually, but I see the smirk he is trying to hide.

“What man?”

415 BONUS

I try to contain the jealousy, but it’s fucking hard. The need to scream that Ava is mine is intense. “I don’t remember his name, but mom said that he was her new friend” the smirk is still in place as he say that “He was scary looking but I liked him, now I don’t know who I like better for mom. Him or Uncle Cal. He had tattoos which Uncle Cal doesn’t and from what I know women dig tattoos

and abs

I glare at him, but he just chuckles

Fuck it. I know he was trying to make me jealous and I should let it go, but I can’t. I have never

liked my son less than I did at that moment.

who was at the door?” her voice comes

say anything.

face is free from makeup. She looks

tear it from her

are you doing here?” she ask, her face changing into an indifference

that too. She used to be so expressive, now I barely know what she’s feeling

“Rowan?” she calls again.

fucking tell her. How am I supposed to tell her that I missed

wanted to see her.

to tell me when you’re leaving,

atmosphere.

he flees the room. Within

is the man Noah was talking about?” I ask standing

she tries backing away from me, but there is nowhere

voice turns hard. I was jealous and pissed off

don’t know what you’re talking about or what he was talking about.” She sasses. “Could

+15 BONUS

that? Is it so you can entertain one of the many men who Noah seems to think are interested in becoming

care. Not when envy was boiling in my blood.

I don’t entertain any man” she

me as I walk closer

my hands around her waist, I bring her closer to me. I feel every inch of her body. Her belly and her breast are pressed close to my chest

peaks of her breast.

I felt was more than arousal. It was something

she shrieks but I still don’t let her go.

mindful of

She can’t move me. Not only because I

because I couldn’t pull myself off her even if I’d wanted. She felt perfect in my arms.

stay with her like

this is exactly where I want you? You’re

not yours. I’ve never been yours. Now let me go before Noah finds us like this and thinks

other thing, you will always be mine and I won’t let you whore yourself to other men

her hand move. The punch comes as a surprise, so because of the shock I

myself? First of all, I was a fucking virgin when we slept together for the first time in case you’ve forgotten. Second, I can fuck whoever I want. I am a free woman and nothing is holding me back from sleeping with men who actually want me. Men who aren’t thinking

those words were going to come back to bite me in the fucking

“Ava…”

+15 BONUS

it. You yourself told me that you slept with me while imagining Emma. You told I was just an object for scratching an itch. That I would never be the woman you want, so what the hell are

me the hell aione?”

The words instead get stuck in my throat. I don’t know how to express my feelings

you, Ava. So fucking much” my voice turns

were married for nine years. Nine fucking years. How then can you be this-

struggles to find

“This what?”

How can you all of a sudden be interested in me when

of our marriage? It’s just not

me there, but how can I explain something that I didn’t understand myself? I

from or

too difficult to accept that I

so yes, it’s hard to believe that you are now