There’s just something…
Calvin had called immediately he got the missed call notification. He’d explained that the reason he didn’t pick up is because he was in a meeting and his phone had been silent.

He wanted to come home right away, but told him that everything was now fine. That I had taken

care of the situation and that Gunner was fine. He wasn’t crying anymore. Neither was he sad.

That was enough for me.

He was reluctant, but he finally agreed given that his meeting would run late.

Now here I was cooking dinner for us. With thousands of thoughts running through my head. It’s like I can’t get a break from my own thoughts. They’re constantly there and now there some that are added concerning Gunner.

“What are we having for dinner mom?” Noah asks sitting down at the counter.

“Yes, what? I am starving” Gunner adds smiling at me.

There it was again. That damn smile. It’s not that I hated it. I could never hate any smile Gunner gives me. It’s just that it fucking bothers me so much. There was something about it that I just couldn’t place my finger on.

“I’m not sure” I tell them. “Why don’t we see

what my craving will pick?”

Noah smiles wide and turns to Gunner. “Mom has insan

cravings. Sometimes they’re really great

and other times it’s totally disgusting”

Gunner nods his head. “Can I help?”

“Sure. Why don’t you flow the chicken?” I tell him.

Noah wasn’t really that helpful in the kitchen. In fact he was a complete disaster. That’s why he normally never helps unless it’s something he can actually do. Something he won’t mess up.

I got out the marinating sliced chicken breasts and the Ziploc bag of seasoned flour and handed them over to Gunner.

He took them willingly with a smile on his face. One thing I learned about him was that he loved food and he also loved cooking. He was going to make a very lucky woman happy one day if he continued like this.

“As for you, Noah, you can help with the dessert” I turn to him

+15 BONUS

“At least that’s easy and I won’t mess it up” he says grinning, making both me and Gunner laugh

He was self–aware. I liked that about him.

“Now, if you get the buttermilk marinade on your fingers, don’t get it near your eyes. It’ll burn,

because of the Tabasco and salt that is in it I warn Gunner.

“Okay”

We get to work. Chatting and simply having fun. I was so glad that I could give this to Gunner. So happy that I was able to give him happiness. I couldn’t take away all his pain and sadness, but

this had to be enough for now.

He was a lovely boy. Shy at first, but when you got to know him, you realize how amazing he is. I

just couldn’t understand why his mother would do this to him.

From what little I gathered. She doesn’t want to be in his life. I don’t know if it’s by choice or

maybe forced circumstances, all I know is that it was hurting Gunner. The last thing I want is for

to grow up with issues just

prayed for” his low voice pulls me back to the

“What?” Noah asks him.

breath before answering. “This. Having a mom by

cooking alongside her. That kind of thing. Don’t get me wrong, dad is amazing

can never be

for this little boy. If I could, I would give

not sible. Some things just aren’t possible. Like how Noah

to get

okay, honey?” I ask

me. “Yes. I have you, Noah and dad.

like a mom to

doing and give him a hug before

“Damn!” Noah groans.

2/5

+15 BOMUS

chastise him and he

while “I’ve been pushing and pushing for you and dad to get back together without realizing how lucky I am that you’re

he immediately steps

kissing his forehead too.

forgiven” I tell him while letting him

keep praying and hoping, but

“Thank you” I say

They both help me set the table and we

down to eat.

say four, we almost clean everything, but I put my foot down for some left overs. Calvin was probably going to come home tired and hungry. He won’t have time

cook something.

them shower and then it is off

after they were asleep that the idea came to me. I had a five bedroom house. There was

Gunner’s room.

anytime he was over and it could also be his safe space while he was here. I

what I would need.

to ask Calvin

when it

know what he likes.

was sure he’d agree. Well I hoped he would. Plus

the room. He knows Gunner better

was just finishing up the list of essentials when the doorbell rang. I wiggle up and go to open

that it will Calvin on

“Hi” I tell him.

to you too” he says, giving me a tired

comes in. We move to the living

3/5

*15 BONUS

quiet Are they asleep?”

“Yes”

I had so many question, but I

was crying because of

I say those words, his face turns

me and my son over and over again. What kind of woman abandons her son? I get and understand that she doesn’t love me and she never will, it hurts, but I learned to accept that. Turning her back on Gunner is something else. I will never forgive

for Rowan. I didn’t want my friend to go through it, but it looks

and she refuses to come see Gunner kills

but as he got older he started to understand things. He started to understand that his mother doesn’t want him and she wants nothing to do with him. Fuck I hate her so much, but I also can’t stop loving her”

radiating from his

reach. I regret ever

and that is one thing

my own

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