There’s just something…
Calvin had called immediately he got the missed call notification. He’d explained that the reason he didn’t pick up is because he was in a meeting and his phone had been silent.

He wanted to come home right away, but told him that everything was now fine. That I had taken

care of the situation and that Gunner was fine. He wasn’t crying anymore. Neither was he sad.

That was enough for me.

He was reluctant, but he finally agreed given that his meeting would run late.

Now here I was cooking dinner for us. With thousands of thoughts running through my head. It’s like I can’t get a break from my own thoughts. They’re constantly there and now there some that are added concerning Gunner.

“What are we having for dinner mom?” Noah asks sitting down at the counter.

“Yes, what? I am starving” Gunner adds smiling at me.

There it was again. That damn smile. It’s not that I hated it. I could never hate any smile Gunner gives me. It’s just that it fucking bothers me so much. There was something about it that I just couldn’t place my finger on.

“I’m not sure” I tell them. “Why don’t we see

what my craving will pick?”

Noah smiles wide and turns to Gunner. “Mom has insan

cravings. Sometimes they’re really great

and other times it’s totally disgusting”

Gunner nods his head. “Can I help?”

“Sure. Why don’t you flow the chicken?” I tell him.

Noah wasn’t really that helpful in the kitchen. In fact he was a complete disaster. That’s why he normally never helps unless it’s something he can actually do. Something he won’t mess up.

I got out the marinating sliced chicken breasts and the Ziploc bag of seasoned flour and handed them over to Gunner.

He took them willingly with a smile on his face. One thing I learned about him was that he loved food and he also loved cooking. He was going to make a very lucky woman happy one day if he continued like this.

“As for you, Noah, you can help with the dessert” I turn to him

+15 BONUS

“At least that’s easy and I won’t mess it up” he says grinning, making both me and Gunner laugh

He was self–aware. I liked that about him.

“Now, if you get the buttermilk marinade on your fingers, don’t get it near your eyes. It’ll burn,

because of the Tabasco and salt that is in it I warn Gunner.

“Okay”

We get to work. Chatting and simply having fun. I was so glad that I could give this to Gunner. So happy that I was able to give him happiness. I couldn’t take away all his pain and sadness, but

this had to be enough for now.

He was a lovely boy. Shy at first, but when you got to know him, you realize how amazing he is. I

just couldn’t understand why his mother would do this to him.

From what little I gathered. She doesn’t want to be in his life. I don’t know if it’s by choice or

maybe forced circumstances, all I know is that it was hurting Gunner. The last thing I want is for

to grow up with issues just like

what I’ve always wished and prayed for” his low voice pulls me

“What?” Noah asks him.

Having a mom by my side. Watching

kind of thing. Don’t get me wrong, dad is

can never be my

pieces for this little boy. If I

not sible. Some things just aren’t possible. Like

I to get back

okay, honey?” I ask

up at me. “Yes. I have you, Noah and dad. That

a

doing and give him

“Damn!” Noah groans.

2/5

+15 BOMUS

him and he goes

Noah says after a while “I’ve been pushing and pushing for you and dad to get back together

and he immediately steps into

kissing his forehead too.

I tell him while letting him

praying and hoping, but I’ll

“Thank you” I say

finish cooking. They

down to eat.

should I say four, we almost clean everything, but I put my foot down for some left overs. Calvin was probably going to come home tired and hungry. He

cook something.

make them shower and then it

house. There was still an extra room

Gunner’s room.

there anytime he was over and it could also be his safe space while he was here. I quickly get excited about the idea. Immediately I take a

what I would need.

have to

helpful when

know what he likes.

I was sure he’d agree. Well I hoped he would.

design of the room. He knows Gunner better than anyone.

just finishing up the list of essentials when the doorbell rang. I wiggle up and go

will Calvin

“Hi” I tell him.

says, giving me

in. We move to

3/5

*15 BONUS

quiet Are they asleep?” he

“Yes”

what to say. I had so many question, but I was

because of his

say those words,

me and my son over and over again. What kind of woman abandons her son? I get and understand that she doesn’t love me and she never will, it hurts, but I learned to accept that. Turning her back on Gunner is something

bitch? I’ve suffered through it since I first fell for Rowan. I didn’t want my friend to go through it, but it looks

come see Gunner kills me. He is

it from him, but as he got older he started to understand things. He started to understand that his mother doesn’t want him and she wants nothing to do with him. Fuck

radiating from

is totally out of my reach. I regret ever falling in love with her. Regret ever meeting her. But the thing is,

one thing I

from? Yeah from my own lips.

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