Ex-Husband's Regret

His confession
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I’ve been obsessing for the last few days over the note. I just wanted to nail whoever this person is so

that I could move on peacefully with my life.

I hated that I was now jumpy and scared all the damn time. Noah has even noticed that I haven’t been

myself. Every time he asks, I just tell him that I am okay when I am clearly not.

My life was so simple back when I was married to Rowan as compared to now. The only thing I worried

about was whether or not he would come for dinner or if he would ever love me. I know I used to be in

constant pain, but I’d pick that over dying any day.

I haven’t had a moment of peace since I divorced Rowan. An attempt on my life was made three times.

My car was blown up, my house burned down, and I was kidnapped twice. After I agreed to Reaper being

in my life, I thought that things would settle down, but no… Now someone was after me. Again.

“Mom, can I go over at Gunner’s?” Noah asks, scaring the crap out of me.

I try to calm my heart down. See what I mean when I say I’m jumpy?

He looks at me funny, but I ignore it and force my lips into a semblance of a smile.

“Sure, use the back door, though, okay?”

He nods his head, and I stand up. I wanted to make sure that he crossed over to Calvin’s side safely and

that he got inside his house.

“Today we are going to play games. Last time I won, this time Gunner hopes that he wins,” he tells me as

we walk.

“That’s good”

I haven’t seen Calvin since that day in my kitchen. He has been avoiding me as much as he can. I’m not

sure if it’s because he’s embarrassed or because he was hurt by my rejection. Maybe it is both.

Anyway, I’ve been giving him space because I didn’t want things to be even more awkward than they

already were.

“See you later, mom,” Noah says as he crosses over to Cal’s.

is in their house,

and not even a minute later, there is a knock on my door. I approach it with

wasn’t

Rowan Fuck I’d forgotten that we were supposed to talk. With

was

his hands

nervous. Again, this was something I

him while

note arriving while he was

gives me a

“What?” I ask.

thought you would

come in or not?”

last look before he enters my house. Without waiting too long,

someone is watching

become so paranoid over the past few days that sometimes it terrifies me. The sooner we deal

better for

in my recliner. I bought it a few weeks ago because it helped relieve my back pain.

because it made my back pain

to talk to me about?” I stare

Noah?”

breath before releasing.

him, confused, wondering if he had truly lost his mind. What

no us, Rowan. You seem to be forgetting that

this with him. Not when I had so much going

to me, please,” he pleads, his voice

is, but I don’t want to put too much thought into it. Instead,

if he were struggling to find the right words. The more he takes his

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love you,

mouth drops open, and I gape at him like a fish

his forehead

Running a fever? Or

features soften. He grabs my hand, turns it, and kisses my palm in a really gentle

all I know is that I love you, Ava. I didn’t see it back then. I was so overcome with bitterness and anger that I didn’t realize what a true gem I had married. In the last few months, it’s been hard to be without you. Seeing you in pain or hurt destroys me every time. It has taken me time to realize that I’m in love with you, but here I am, begging you to give me a chance to show you the love you deserved from

me. This all seems like a dream. It’s like

start, trying to make my brain function. “You don’t love me. You’ve never loved me. Emma is

and regret flash in his eyes. I feel bad for him, but I know that maybe he’s just confused about

be in love with me when he hates me so

Ava” he says as the pain changes to

over and over again how little you care for me. You have hurt me more times than I can count, all in the name of punishing me for ruining your relationship with Emma. You held on to her for years, and now all of a sudden,

force it down. I have no time or energy to

heartache.

you’ll never know how much I regret hurting you, but if you could only give me a chance,