Hoping against hope
I stare at my son. I’m so proud of him and of the bond he has with his mother. No one, not even her best

friends and her parents, knew the name she had chosen, yet she had told Noah.

“That’s really good,” Mary says, smiling at Noah. “You’re already shaping up to be a great big brother.”

Noah just nods, then looks up at me.

“One day we were on her bed while eating ice cream because she wanted it so much. I asked her what

name we were going to give to the baby. We spent hours going through baby names until we settled on

those two. It was so much fun, and we laughed a lot.”

Tears start filling his eyes once again, and I pull him to my side. It physically hurt to see him hurting. To see him in pain. I wanted to ease his heartache, but I didn’t have the power.

“When will she get better? I miss her so much,” he continues to cry.

I kept quiet because I have no answer to that. Not even the doctors know when or if Ava will wake up.

Mary kneels down to his level. She gently tugs at him a little. Noah doesn’t let me go, but he twists his

head to face her.

“Tell you what? How about I let you visit your sister? You’ll be the first person to see her,” she tells him.

“Really?” he asks as he wipes away his tears.

“Really” she smiles. “Just give me a few minutes, and I’ll come to get you. Is that okay?”

Noah nods his head as a small smile takes over his lips. The sadness is still there, but it’s been pushed

back.

When Mary stands up, I give her an appreciated nod. It may seem like a small thing, but she has done

something huge. She has given Noah hope. Something, or rather, someone to hold on to while he waits

for his mother to recover.

She nods to the rest and then turns to leave. Taking Noah’s hand, I lead him to the seats. I was damn

exhausted. Mentally, psychically, and emotionally. I could use some sleep, but I won’t get it until I see

both mother and child.

To my surprise, Calvin, Gunner and Kate walk in. Gunner’s hand is held firmly in Kate’s. They were chatting

while Calvin walked behind them. I can’t really tell whether they’ve told Gunner the truth.

I watch as Gunner’s eyes land on Emma. They become huge. I don’t understand that part, because I’m

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He let’s go of his grandmother’s hand and literally launches himself at Emma. Emma doesn’t have it though. She gently pushes him away from her with a look of disapproval. Gunner’s face falls, and tears start filling his eyes.

hugs his father. Calvin in turn glares at Emma, as do Kate, Travis, and everyone else who had watched the

shrinks into herself but

had his head on my shoulder and was

The bitter voice makes me look up, only to find Kate

for Ava,”

twists into something ugly. “I didn’t know that Ava was buddies

you didn’t, since you know nothing

as the matriarch

“If

fact that he is here, then you’re free to leave. Personally, I

that you treated Ava like

shut Kate up, but it also drenches up something that I wasn’t ready to

eyes snap open. He looks at the rest before looking at

He didn’t say the words loudly, but it was

everyone’s attention.

their faces. It’s like they’d completely forgotten that Noah was

you to worry about,” I try to assure

doesn’t buy it.

shit means, and grandpa is talking as if mom

hard as it nears the end

was afraid this day would come. I notice that everyone except for Calvin and

without making him hate us? Without making him

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see your baby sister?” Mary comes back out with a smile on

of relief and thank the heavens for the distraction. Noah

accompany him,” she says, turning around as Noah takes

my head

enter a separate room where they sanitize us before giving us a medical gown, gloves, and masks to wear. Once that is done, we are then taken to the NICU unit. We pass a few babies who were also in incubators

smiles at us.

had me wrapped around her tiny fingers. She wasn’t my blood, but she already has my fucking

her lips and the piece of hair that was sticking out of

her. She didn’t deserve this. She should still be cushioned in

She’s alive.

Right. That’s what matters.

hold her?” Noah asks

珍味

was right. Noah was already shaping up to be a great

face. There is no fucking way

can’t…But you can touch her only if you promise to

hands inside the incubator. He softly touches her cheeks,

though she doesn’t

stay inside for a while until the nurse lets us know it’s time for us to leave.

Noah after we get out of the protective gear. I felt

present, but not at

is Theo?” I ask my brother while

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she looked

The nurse couldn’t let both of them in

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