Ex-Husband's Regret

Chapter 0297
Ava
“Mom, can Gunner come for a sleepover this weekend?” Noah asks, but my mind is billions of galaxies away.
I was filled with nervousness. I know I said I’d visit Ethan when I was ready, but the situation has changed. For some reason, the issue keeps bugging me. Keeps infiltrating my mind day in and day out.
I haven’t had the chance to talk to Rowan about it. He clearly hates Ethan. It doesn’t take a genius to figure that out. It’s not that I want to ask his permission or anything like that. I will still go to see Ethan, whether he likes it or not.
What worries me is his reaction. Rowan loves Iris like his own. It’s clear to see that, but like I said, it’s also clear he despises her father. I’m sure he won’t be too happy about me visiting Ethan. What I’m not sure is if he’ll hate the idea because he loathes Ethan or because of something else. Maybe it’s both.
“Mom, are you even listening?”
Noah’s frustrated voice brings me back to the present. I hadn’t even noticed that I had zoned out again.
“What were you saying?”
He stares at me with his scrutinizing gray eyes. His mannerism and behavior are so similar to his father’s.
I sometimes find it uncanny how alike they were.
He repeats the question after looking upwards. As if he were praying for patience or divine intervention.

Letting out a sigh, I face my son, not really sure how to answer him. I get that Gunner is his best friend, but
I also know that Rowan doesn’t like his dad. Or at least, he never used to like him. I’m not sure if things have changed now that their sons are friends.
The memories of how Calvin and Rowan got into pis sing contests over Emma back when they were in school assault my mind. I didn’t want to think of those days. I didn’t want to think about the time Emma once had Rowan’s heart in her palm.
It still hurts me to know that. Still inflicts unimaginable pain when I remember the years he was cold towards me. Sure, things have changed now, but I can’t help but have doubts. They plague my mind even when we are asleep, and he’s holding me close to him.
It’s a constant battle. Especially when I don’t understand what changed or what pushed him to abandon his love for Emma and choose me. It also doesn’t help that I know he’s keeping something from me.
Lying to me.
Part of me is afraid that this is all a dream and that I’ll wake up and everything will fade. The other part is afraid that he is playing with me. Toying with me. I may be overthinking, but I’m afraid that he is playing his ultimate ace card.
I mean, what better way to get revenge on the woman who hurt you? Play the devoted, loving man that she always dreamed of, and then, when she falls for the act, rip her world apart by leaving her and telling her that it was nothing but a cruel joke. Nothing but revenge for the years he missed having the woman he
Noves with him.
“Mom!”
“Sorry, my love. I’m just a bit distracted today.”
He looked pis sed, and I completely understand why. Pushing those memories and doubts to the back of my mind, I focus on my son.
Whether Rowan’s intentions were pure or not, it didn’t matter. If he does hurt me, I’ll do what I’ve always done. Pick up the broken pieces and push forward. It will hurt like a bi tch, but I also know that I can live with a broken and dead heart.
Noah let’s out a frustrated breath. “So, is it okay for Gunner to come over?”
“How about I talk to your dad when he gets home?” I pull him to me, needing to feel him so I can anchor myself to the present. “If he agrees, then we can have him over the weekend.”
His frustrations melt away, and he gives me a blinding smile. I smile back, thinking of how he’ll give many girls sleepless nights when he gets older. Just like his father and uncle did.
“Thank you, mom,” he says, kissing my cheek. “I’m going to see if Iris is awake. I’ve missed her so much.”
“Okay”
I watch him as he runs up the stairs. I was so happy and proud of how he loved and cared for Iris. He was also really protective of her. It soothed my heart to know that Iris had someone like Noah in her life. I didn’t. Travis never cared for me, but I am glad that Noah cares for his sister. I don’t know if he knows that she’s his half-sister. Deep down, I know he does. He’s a very sharp boy, so I know he has already figured out that Rowan isn’t Iris’s dad. This just makes me love him more. It makes me happy that he has accepted her, even though she has a different dad.
“What are you thinking so hard about?” His deep voice startles me, making me jump a little.