Ex-Husband's Regret

Chapter 0335

Rowan

Fuck, I hate it! I hate this tension and unease between Ava and me. I hate that every single time we cross paths, she stares at me like she doesn’t know what to do with me.

It’s been a couple of days since that morning. I thought that things would be okay between us once I explained everything, but I was damn wrong. In fact, it’s like, after I told her everything, things just went downhill from there.

I moved back home, and things haven’t been the same. Don’t get me wrong, she hasn’t turned into a raging bitch or anything like that, but at this point, I would prefer that to the cold politeness she shows me.

My fear of losing her gets stronger and stronger each and every day. I can’t help but wonder what will happen once she gets her memory back and finds out that we are divorced. That I had deceived her. The fear has a grip on my fucking heart. I don’t want to lose her, and I’m afraid that’s what will happen when the truth comes out.

Unable to sit still, I stand up and start pacing. My office here at home has been the place where I’ve spent most of my time. I hardly sleep. The thought of losing her keeps me awake most nights.

Part of me wants to just tell her the truth. You know, rip it off like a band aid and just face the consequences head–on. The other part, though, is unwilling to. The other part still holds on to hope that Ava and I will be okay.

My door opens and Gabe walks in. For a split second, I see how busy and chaotic it is outside my office before the door closes.

“Ava went all out this time, didn’t she?” He asks with a small smile while sitting down.

Today was Noah’s birthday, and the organizers were doing the final touches. It was a superhero theme party because that was what Noah wanted, and what he wanted, he got. All his friends from school were invited, and so was his entire class. He even invited his favorite teacher.

up what needed to be set up. Ava was

and I can’t get my eyes off even if I tried. As if sensing my gaze, she turns, and our eyes collide. We stare at each other for a

have things been?” Gabe asks after

“Terrible”

I. Instead, I continued to stare outside. L continue staring at her, willing her to turn around and look at me. When she doesn’t, I exhale a

you explained things to her?”

fucking mood to talk, but I knew I needed to get myself together. Today is Noah’s birthday; I am not going to be a downer and spoil the day

she did before, but she isn’t back to

can tell you that it sucked balls. If I could, I would spit it out, but I can’t. This is karma… And

and give her some fucking time. Remembering what you told her isn’t easy; I mean, hell, if I’d been in her shoes, I would be torn. No matter your explanation, no matter whether you meant it or not, none of that matters. Hearing those words from the man you love is shattering.”

if the roles had been reversed. I have no

can’t help but wish and pray that she will forgive me. That she would give us a chance even if I

she told you anything? What she’s thinking? Or how she’s feeling?” he asks,

because she’s trying to make a decision on whether to stay with me or not,” I answer honestly, leaning tiredly against the

Has she told you that?”

of a gut

There’s uncertainty in them about whether to forgive me or leave me. It

we just

already feeling defeated. “Yes. That’s the only thing to do right now.”