Ex-Husband's Regret

Chapter 0335

Rowan

Fuck, I hate it! I hate this tension and unease between Ava and me. I hate that every single time we cross paths, she stares at me like she doesn’t know what to do with me.

It’s been a couple of days since that morning. I thought that things would be okay between us once I explained everything, but I was damn wrong. In fact, it’s like, after I told her everything, things just went downhill from there.

I moved back home, and things haven’t been the same. Don’t get me wrong, she hasn’t turned into a raging bitch or anything like that, but at this point, I would prefer that to the cold politeness she shows me.

My fear of losing her gets stronger and stronger each and every day. I can’t help but wonder what will happen once she gets her memory back and finds out that we are divorced. That I had deceived her. The fear has a grip on my fucking heart. I don’t want to lose her, and I’m afraid that’s what will happen when the truth comes out.

Unable to sit still, I stand up and start pacing. My office here at home has been the place where I’ve spent most of my time. I hardly sleep. The thought of losing her keeps me awake most nights.

Part of me wants to just tell her the truth. You know, rip it off like a band aid and just face the consequences head–on. The other part, though, is unwilling to. The other part still holds on to hope that Ava and I will be okay.

My door opens and Gabe walks in. For a split second, I see how busy and chaotic it is outside my office before the door closes.

“Ava went all out this time, didn’t she?” He asks with a small smile while sitting down.

Today was Noah’s birthday, and the organizers were doing the final touches. It was a superhero theme party because that was what Noah wanted, and what he wanted, he got. All his friends from school were invited, and so was his entire class. He even invited his favorite teacher.

I just nod before looking outside my window. The planners were busy setting up what needed to be set up. Ava was busy

she turns, and our eyes

have things been?” Gabe asks after

“Terrible”

and neither do I. Instead, I continued to stare outside. L continue staring at her, willing her to turn around and look at me. When she doesn’t, I exhale a tired sigh and

things to her?” he inquires.

knew I needed to get myself together. Today is Noah’s birthday; I am

“She doesn’t ignore me like she did before, but she isn’t back to her normal

balls. If I could, I would spit it out, but I can’t. This

fucking time. Remembering what you told her isn’t easy; I mean, hell, if I’d been in her shoes, I would

understand. I would also be shattered if the roles had been reversed. I have no excuse. I’m a total asshole, and now my actions are back to bite

torn. I know I’m the only one to blame for my pain, but I can’t help but wish and pray that she will forgive me. That she would give us a chance even if I didn’t give

you anything? What she’s thinking? Or how she’s feeling?” he

trying to make a decision on whether to

told

more of a gut

at me. There’s uncertainty in them about whether to forgive me or leave me. It fucking scares me

we just

That’s the only thing