Ex-Husband's Regret

Harper

This week has been completely hectic. It's like I've been running errands since I came back to this city without even taking a moment to rest.

At least Lilly is now more comfortable. Gabriel didn't agree to ship her mattress, given the one she has here is more comfortable, but he did agree to ship her sheets and blankets. It has made a difference, with her now sleeping the whole night.

Gabriel, where can I even begin? He comes home even if it's in the late hours, but that's the extent of it. We have been avoiding each other, trying to live like the other doesn't exist. I think it's better for us to do it this way. It will keep Lilly from seeing us fight all the time.

"Mom, you wanted to speak to me?" Lilly's voice pulls me back from to the present.

I put down the clothes I was folding, and sit on the bed before signaling her to do the same. She crosses the room with a frown and sits down next to me.

We were in my room. As you have guessed, Gabriel and I don't share a room. That is the one thing I don't know how to explain to Lilly. She'll be curious, given that Liam and I shared the master bedroom.

"Mom?"

"Sorry, there are a few things I wanted to explain to you," I tell her, pulling her close to me.

I need the strength to tell her what I've been hiding. It's not every day your mother tells you that the man you thought was your father isn't. The one thing I'm afraid of is her reaction. I know she'll be mad but I hope that she'll understand. But then again, how will she understand that I deliberately kept her from her biological father?

How can I tell her the entire truth without revealing the kind of man Gabriel is? Or how terrible of a husband he was back then?

That's where my dilemma stems from. How can I tell her the truth without telling her the entire truth?

"You want to start by explaining the shining diamond that you're currently rocking?" she asked with one eyebrow raised high.

I knew she noticed, but I didn't tell her anything. Since I didn't say a thing, she didn't ask... but I knew it was only a matter of time.

got married," I simply

have liked to be

wasn't a love match. How was I going to explain that my marriage to Gabriel was just a contract? That if I could have my way, and if he wasn't threatening to

that things happened so fast," I began. "There wasn't any

"But why?"

able to understand right now,

when she's older, I'll explain that my marriage was just a contract. That it wasn't anything real. "Do you love him?" she asked

at her as I think of an answer that will placate

complicated," I

say when they don't want to answer a question," she muttered while rolling her eyes. "You could have just been honest and said

my baby girl so much, but deep down I

is that what you wanted to talk to

up pace. Anxiety clawed its way inside me, trying to seize me completely. This was the moment

I said nervously. "It's

"Okay, shoot"

to rip it off like

hand in mine. "Gabriel

her eyes. "I'm not stupid, mom, I know

same school. They were classmates, back at home. Her parents got divorced

Lilly... I mean, Gabriel is your dad, your biological father," I whisper, my voice full

at me as if she were trying to piece together the information I just told her. I see the moment she finally grasps it and her

ripping hand

father." tears fill my eyes as I