Ex-Husband's Regret

Harper

This week has been completely hectic. It's like I've been running errands since I came back to this city without even taking a moment to rest.

At least Lilly is now more comfortable. Gabriel didn't agree to ship her mattress, given the one she has here is more comfortable, but he did agree to ship her sheets and blankets. It has made a difference, with her now sleeping the whole night.

Gabriel, where can I even begin? He comes home even if it's in the late hours, but that's the extent of it. We have been avoiding each other, trying to live like the other doesn't exist. I think it's better for us to do it this way. It will keep Lilly from seeing us fight all the time.

"Mom, you wanted to speak to me?" Lilly's voice pulls me back from to the present.

I put down the clothes I was folding, and sit on the bed before signaling her to do the same. She crosses the room with a frown and sits down next to me.

We were in my room. As you have guessed, Gabriel and I don't share a room. That is the one thing I don't know how to explain to Lilly. She'll be curious, given that Liam and I shared the master bedroom.

"Mom?"

"Sorry, there are a few things I wanted to explain to you," I tell her, pulling her close to me.

I need the strength to tell her what I've been hiding. It's not every day your mother tells you that the man you thought was your father isn't. The one thing I'm afraid of is her reaction. I know she'll be mad but I hope that she'll understand. But then again, how will she understand that I deliberately kept her from her biological father?

How can I tell her the entire truth without revealing the kind of man Gabriel is? Or how terrible of a husband he was back then?

That's where my dilemma stems from. How can I tell her the truth without telling her the entire truth?

"You want to start by explaining the shining diamond that you're currently rocking?" she asked with one eyebrow raised high.

I knew she noticed, but I didn't tell her anything. Since I didn't say a thing, she didn't ask... but I knew it was only a matter of time.

got married," I

me, I would have liked to be there with you, it's not like

know what to tell her. This wasn't the kind of marriage she thought; it wasn't a love match. How was I going to explain that my marriage to Gabriel was just a contract? That if I could have my way, and

you have to understand that things happened so fast," I began. "There wasn't any wedding party or anything like that... we just had

"But why?"

won't be able to understand right now, but when you're

she's older, I'll explain that my marriage was just a contract. That it wasn't anything real. "Do you love him?" she asked after a

I think

I finally

what adults say when they don't want to answer a question," she muttered while rolling her eyes. "You could have just been honest and said you don't want

I loved my baby girl so much, but deep down I knew that I was

that what you wanted to talk to me

its way inside me, trying to seize me completely. This

nervously.

"Okay, shoot"

to rip

in mine. "Gabriel is

her eyes. "I'm not stupid, mom,

They were classmates, back at home. Her parents got divorced about

biological father," I whisper, my voice

together the information I just told her. I see the moment she finally

shouted, ripping hand from mine.

not lying... Gabriel is your father." tears fill my eyes as