Ex-Husband's Regret

Harper

This week has been completely hectic. It's like I've been running errands since I came back to this city without even taking a moment to rest.

At least Lilly is now more comfortable. Gabriel didn't agree to ship her mattress, given the one she has here is more comfortable, but he did agree to ship her sheets and blankets. It has made a difference, with her now sleeping the whole night.

Gabriel, where can I even begin? He comes home even if it's in the late hours, but that's the extent of it. We have been avoiding each other, trying to live like the other doesn't exist. I think it's better for us to do it this way. It will keep Lilly from seeing us fight all the time.

"Mom, you wanted to speak to me?" Lilly's voice pulls me back from to the present.

I put down the clothes I was folding, and sit on the bed before signaling her to do the same. She crosses the room with a frown and sits down next to me.

We were in my room. As you have guessed, Gabriel and I don't share a room. That is the one thing I don't know how to explain to Lilly. She'll be curious, given that Liam and I shared the master bedroom.

"Mom?"

"Sorry, there are a few things I wanted to explain to you," I tell her, pulling her close to me.

I need the strength to tell her what I've been hiding. It's not every day your mother tells you that the man you thought was your father isn't. The one thing I'm afraid of is her reaction. I know she'll be mad but I hope that she'll understand. But then again, how will she understand that I deliberately kept her from her biological father?

How can I tell her the entire truth without revealing the kind of man Gabriel is? Or how terrible of a husband he was back then?

That's where my dilemma stems from. How can I tell her the truth without telling her the entire truth?

"You want to start by explaining the shining diamond that you're currently rocking?" she asked with one eyebrow raised high.

I knew she noticed, but I didn't tell her anything. Since I didn't say a thing, she didn't ask... but I knew it was only a matter of time.

married," I simply

she whispered. "But why didn't you invite me, I would have liked to be there with you, it's not like I was against you getting married,

I going to explain that my marriage to Gabriel was just a contract? That if I could have my way, and if he wasn't threatening

"There wasn't any wedding party or anything like that... we just had to do

"But why?"

right now, but when you're older,

let it go. I wasn't lying; when she's older, I'll explain that my marriage was just a contract. That it wasn't anything real. "Do you love him?" she asked after a

I look at her as I think of an answer that

I finally

have just been honest and said you don't want to answer." "Fine, I don't want to

loved my baby girl so much, but deep down I

wanted to talk to me

clawed its way inside me, trying to seize me completely. This was

said nervously.

"Okay, shoot"

decide to rip it off like

in mine.

married to him now so that makes him my stepdad," she said again, rolling her eyes. "I'm

They were classmates, back at home. Her parents got divorced about three years ago and the dad married another

your biological father," I

if she were trying to piece together the information I just told her. I

ripping hand from mine.

but I am not lying... Gabriel is your father." tears fill my eyes as I look at her, which convey nothing