Ex-Husband's Regret

Emma.

"You have to get out of this room, Emma. You can't spend your days stuck in this dump." Mom told me, but I didn't even spare her look as my eyes were fixated on the sad series I was watching.

I sat in my bed, still in my pajamas, with some snacks scattered around my duvet. I had different drinks and a tub of ice cream, which I was currently drowning myself in. My curtains were closed, shutting off the sunlight since I'd gotten blackout curtains a few months ago.

"That's what I've been trying to tell her, but the damn woman won't listen to me," Molly fired.

I could feel her staring daggers at the side of my head, but that didn't bother me one bit. I just wanted to be left alone so that I could suffer in my misery. After all, I am the one who brought this upon myself. "What would Gunner say if he saw you like this? You are unkempt and so is your room. I don't even know when you last brushed your hair or showered," she said in a disapproving voice.

I perk up when I hear Gunner's name. Immediately, my eyes turned towards my mom.

"Did he ask for me? Does he want to come to voice?" I asked, hope coating my voice.

Mom has been spending time with him and so has Travis. They get to meet and as far as I can tell, things are going well. They don't like talking about him when I am around, because they know how much it hurts me that they get to be with him when I don't, but I've heard them talking when they thought I wasn't in the vicinity.

I got my answer when mom looked away and didn't say anything. My heart broke at that. The amount of guilt and regret that is eating me up can't be described. When he used to ask for me, I never bothered to give him the time of day.

I took him for granted and only saw him as a mistake that I regretted. Now he doesn't want anything to do with me and it breaks me. This is how he must have felt every time I ignored him. Karma was indeed a bitch, and she was serving me loads and loads of her specialty.

Molly cleared her throat before saying, "Come on, let's get you in the shower, then we can go out for lunch."

away from them and focus on the TV once again. "I don't really feel like doing anything.

remote from the bed and switches off the TV.

you, Emma. I won't watch you wither away because you refused to grow up and accept that this is all your fault. Instead of wasting away in this fucking room, you could be trying to redeem yourself and fix things with Calvin and

rarely does it. I can count the number of times mom

surprise yet again when she grabbed

me, Mom!" I shout behind her, trying to pull away,

bathroom, she pushes me inside

I yelled, trying to

she yells back. "And second, this door will remain shut until you take

to the counter and just stare at myself in the room. Sighing, I turn around after a minute or so. I can hardly stand to look at myself

but there is no one to blame but myself. That is the one thing I hate about this whole thing. It would be much easier if someone else were

allow the hot water to wash over

more than thirty

only after her words register that I realize I've been in here longer than I'd planned. Turning off the shower, I grab a towel and wrap it around my body. Again, I stand in front of the mirror. This time I look better than a few minutes ago, but you

time, it opens. Stepping out

wear," she tells me, pointing to a cute blue sundress. "Like I told you earlier, we are going out

Isn't it enough that I've taken

emotionally drained, and all I wanted to do was