Ex-Husband's Regret

Chapter 0483

Emma.

"Why do you think you refused to let go of Rowan? Why do you think you held on to him for years even knowing that he was married to Ava?"

Mia's question plays in my head as I try to think of a way to answer her. Why did I not let go of Rowan the

moment he slept with Ava? Why had I kept holding on despite the fact that he married her and stayed with her for years?

Sure, everyone told me how miserable he was. That he and Ava weren't getting on well. That he treated her like she didn't exist. Everyone told me that he still loved me and had refused to give Ava a chance.

Looking back now though, I'm not as blinded as I was. Despite what everyone told me, he still chose to remain married to her. He could have asked for a divorce anytime he wanted. Hell, the moment Ava was out of school, a bit stable in her job and Noah was a bit older, he could have filed for a divorce. He would have been able to be there for Noah and support him without being married to Ava, yet he never once thought of leaving their marriage.

all thought that if they

voice pulls me

away in a different city, everyone kept pulling me to the past by

into space as I continue. "It gave me hope. It made me hold on to that hope, thinking our love was great. Otherwise, why would Rowan still hold on to me when he had a wife and son? It also didn't help that, from when we were young, everyone, especially our mothers would tell us how good we looked together. That

really love when you've been manipulated to love and want someone? Is it love when you didn't fall in love by your

her notebook. "And do you think you would have been happy with Rowan had you gotten a second chance? Would you have stayed together had he not slept with Ava? Would what you felt for each other

was easy? It isn't, not at all. It requires you to dig deep and find the answers that you've been running from. Answers that you didn't want to

we have been

That what we had was young, immature love. No, it wouldn't have survived us growing up or real life or life away from our parents. We would have eventually realized that we were influenced

was. Rowan would always be my first love. At least, what

arm's length?" she pushes, refusing to give me the

held on to Rowan. I had hope that Rowan would eventually be mine. That we would eventually get back together. I didn't want him to find me in love with someone else when