Ex-Husband's Regret

Chapter 0483

Emma.

"Why do you think you refused to let go of Rowan? Why do you think you held on to him for years even knowing that he was married to Ava?"

Mia's question plays in my head as I try to think of a way to answer her. Why did I not let go of Rowan the

moment he slept with Ava? Why had I kept holding on despite the fact that he married her and stayed with her for years?

Sure, everyone told me how miserable he was. That he and Ava weren't getting on well. That he treated her like she didn't exist. Everyone told me that he still loved me and had refused to give Ava a chance.

Looking back now though, I'm not as blinded as I was. Despite what everyone told me, he still chose to remain married to her. He could have asked for a divorce anytime he wanted. Hell, the moment Ava was out of school, a bit stable in her job and Noah was a bit older, he could have filed for a divorce. He would have been able to be there for Noah and support him without being married to Ava, yet he never once thought of leaving their marriage.

divorce. We all thought that if they were

voice pulls me

see it now. I wasn't able to let go because even though I was miles away in a different city, everyone kept pulling me to the past by reminding me how Rowan was unhappy and miserable with Ava.

continue. "It gave me hope. It made me hold on to that hope, thinking our love was great. Otherwise, why would Rowan still hold on to me when he had a wife

internally as my mind wanders to the past. How much of our so-called love was actually love? Is it really love when you've been manipulated to love and want someone? Is it love when you didn't fall in love by your own design, but because

you gotten a second chance? Would you have stayed

therapy was easy? It isn't, not at all. It requires you to dig deep and find the answers that you've been running from. Answers that you didn't want to hear so

have

what we had was young, immature love. No, it wouldn't have survived us growing up

been painful coming to this conclusion two years ago, but I accepted the truth for what it was. Rowan would always be my first love.

you keep Calvin at arm's length?" she pushes, refusing to give me the

I had hope that Rowan would eventually be mine. That we would eventually get back together. I didn't want him to find me in love with someone else when