Ex-Husband's Regret

Chapter 0507

I look at Ava's house, and it's just as I remember it. Nothing has changed, and it's still the same. I know this is a different house, but looking at it takes me back to years ago, when things changed after dad died.

I remember coming to her house to spew nonsense because I felt like I was losing Rowan all over again, and it was her fault. God, I am ashamed of the bullshit I said and did to her. The way I instigated her and when she stood her ground and fought back, I went back to Rowan and lied.

I had been jealous of her. Jealous that even though Rowan hadn't treated her well, he had spent almost a decade married to her. It also grated me that he had been faithful to her despite the fact that he didn't love her. We never slept together when we were dating, but I know men. There is no way he would have been celibate for nine years.

Back then, it felt like daggers in my heart when I thought of them sleeping together. I knew it happened even without Ava rubbing it in my face. In my head I thought it would have been better if he had cheated on her and had mistresses. It would have hurt less.

I wanted to cause trouble because I was hurt. There we were with a second chance, yet it seemed like Rowan's thoughts were consumed by Ava. He tried hiding it, but I knew him, and I knew he thought of her most of the time. It grated on me the way he would run to her every time there was trouble. She tried pushing him out of her life except when it concerned Noah, but he stood still.

lost him. It pained me to see him so jealous

all, if I truly wanted things to work out with Rowan, shouldn't I have given up Calvin? Yet I didn't. I didn't stop sleeping with Calvin until he ended things between us. Looking back, I think that the reason I held on to Rowan even when the signs were there that we didn't belong together is because I wanted him as a trophy. A trophy to prove to Ava that she hadn't taken him away from me. That Rowan still belonged to me.

how absurd things were. I held on to Rowan for almost a decade only to realize at the end that I didn't actually love him and neither did he. It's sad that we lost a decade running after

voice. "You've been zoned out, just staring at the house. I asked if you were

a deep breath before releasing it, I pull my mind back to the present. "Just got lost

didn't want him to stress, thinking I was reverting

him by grabbing

mine. "Are you ready for this? Cause if you

and it won't work. I am coming back to live