My mind wanders back to Deacon and last night. I think about the way he smelled my hair and moved it off my shoulders to expose my neck. Thinking about how he leaned in to kiss me, has me giddy.

Ignoring the reality of Sam’s intrusion, I picture what could’ve been. Deacon’s and my lips touching, our tongues tangled passionately. Him lifting me off the ground, my legs wrapping around his waist while he carried me to his room and lay me on his bed.

Kissing, touching, learning about each other’s bodies and the things we like. Until finally, he takes my virginity, coming inside of me, then falling into his arms. Breathless and weak, but content.

There’s a loud thunk as the coffee carafe slams onto the tabletop. It startles me out of my daydream.

“Cream?” my mom says.

I look at her wide-eyed and a little afraid, as if she were reading my thoughts about Deacon creaming inside of me.

“What?” I ask.

“Are you still using the cream?” she asks.

No. Sorry,” and slide

her coffee and sits back. “So how was the babysitting

to calm myself

words clipped. I hope she doesn’t

sips her coffee, reading the wet newspaper. “Good. Did he

He offered me the

says without looking up from her paper. “Maybe

sigh

I bring a bag full of children’s books and vegetables from the

Deacon says, his face lighting up when he answers

his. How is it possible that

I brought some stuff for Bailey,” I say

so sweet

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