My mind wanders back to Deacon and last night. I think about the way he smelled my hair and moved it off my shoulders to expose my neck. Thinking about how he leaned in to kiss me, has me giddy.

Ignoring the reality of Sam’s intrusion, I picture what could’ve been. Deacon’s and my lips touching, our tongues tangled passionately. Him lifting me off the ground, my legs wrapping around his waist while he carried me to his room and lay me on his bed.

Kissing, touching, learning about each other’s bodies and the things we like. Until finally, he takes my virginity, coming inside of me, then falling into his arms. Breathless and weak, but content.

There’s a loud thunk as the coffee carafe slams onto the tabletop. It startles me out of my daydream.

“Cream?” my mom says.

I look at her wide-eyed and a little afraid, as if she were reading my thoughts about Deacon creaming inside of me.

“What?” I ask.

“Are you still using the cream?” she asks.

flushed, I say, “Oh. No. Sorry,” and slide

cream in her coffee and sits back. “So how

a breath to calm myself down. “Fine.

nervous. My words clipped. I hope

newspaper. “Good.

offered

she says without looking up from her paper. “Maybe now you can start

sigh of relief. “No

bring a bag full

says, his face lighting up

own face mirroring his. How is it possible that he looks even better today

brought some stuff for Bailey,”

so sweet

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