Falling for the Babysitter

Deacon is kissing the side of my breast, watching my face with a teasing smile. “How was that?” he asks.

“What the fuck just happened?” I say, breathless and a little confused. How had I been masturbating for years and never knew it could be like that? It’s almost like a betrayal, like my body has been lying to me this entire time.

He buries his face between my breasts and starts laughing. Like, crack-up laughing. I feel kind of dumb, like some ignorant little girl instead of the sexual woman I try to portray myself to be.

“You’ve never had an orgasm before?” he says when he finally stops laughing.

I’m still breathless, my heart pounding in the back of my neck. “Not like that. Nothing close to being like that.”

He looks at me, smug now when he smiles. “Oh, honey, that’s nothing compared to the things I plan to do to you.”

A shiver rolls through me and it feels a little like Christmas right now. I’m so excited I can hardly sit still.

spot and it’s as though the rest of the world has just slipped away into the abyss. I close my eyes, marveling in the feelings he’s giving me. He sucks at the skin of my labia, nursing at my clit. Tongue driving deep. Drinking in my excitement. He’s so focused. The skin on his forehead tightens as he concentrates on

so good.” Then he’s diving back in. I hold the back of his head, running my fingers through his thick

it. Sucking and licking as if he’s afraid to miss a single

awkward and confusing with other boyfriends when we’d fool around and it was obvious that neither of us had enjoyed the experience as much as we should have. Maybe it’s because Deacon is older and more experienced. He

and though I’ve been fingered before—including by myself—it’s as if he’s found some kind of secret passage, a pleasure center that’s been hidden my whole life and only his finger is the key

painfully quiet as not to wake up the baby. It’s probably too late for

a second finger. It’s an uncomfortably narrow fit.

him away. I don’t want this to stop. I don’t want him

virgin.