Will it be a boy or a girl? What will we name him or her? All these thoughts race through my head at once until I feel like I might pass out. Now to tell my mom …

She’s waiting outside the bathroom door, pacing. She picks at her eyebrows, something she has always done when she’s nervous. She barely has any left and has to draw them on. She sees me and her eyes open wide. “Well?” she says.

I hold up the sticks and burst into happy tears. “I’m going to have a baby!”

She starts to cry too. “Oh my god,” she says. But instead of cussing or saying something that might break my heart, she smiles and says. “I’m going to be a grandma.”

We hug, both of us melting into tears. “What do you think Deacon’s going to say?” she says when we come apart.

I wipe away the mascara rolling down my cheeks. “He’s going to be really happy, Mom. I promise. You have nothing to worry about.”

She smiles, her eyes red and watering. “I trust you. I know you’re a smart girl and wouldn’t rush into anything unless you were absolutely sure you knew what you were doing.”

“Thanks Mom,” I say and hug her again.

Now to tell Deacon.

twisting my hands. They’re sweating. I feel like I’m going to pass out. Deacon will be happy. I know that. But I’m still afraid. This will drive a wedge so far between him

This isn’t

answers. He rolls his eyes when he sees me, but stands aside to let me in. There are boxes stacked up all over the living room. Bailey is in her playpen next to

of fear ringing through me. Someone has

He looks mad at first until he sees me. His face relaxes

a way that lets me knows he’s happy for the

need to talk to you.” I wave my hands

of my

means we can finally spend as much time together as we want, make as much noise as we want while

your fault,” Sam

don’t even know what’s going on,” I

gym bag on top of

she came into

What I do with my

what happens to my

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