Falling for the Babysitter

Will it be a boy or a girl? What will we name him or her? All these thoughts race through my head at once until I feel like I might pass out. Now to tell my mom …

She’s waiting outside the bathroom door, pacing. She picks at her eyebrows, something she has always done when she’s nervous. She barely has any left and has to draw them on. She sees me and her eyes open wide. “Well?” she says.

I hold up the sticks and burst into happy tears. “I’m going to have a baby!”

She starts to cry too. “Oh my god,” she says. But instead of cussing or saying something that might break my heart, she smiles and says. “I’m going to be a grandma.”

We hug, both of us melting into tears. “What do you think Deacon’s going to say?” she says when we come apart.

I wipe away the mascara rolling down my cheeks. “He’s going to be really happy, Mom. I promise. You have nothing to worry about.”

She smiles, her eyes red and watering. “I trust you. I know you’re a smart girl and wouldn’t rush into anything unless you were absolutely sure you knew what you were doing.”

“Thanks Mom,” I say and hug her again.

Now to tell Deacon.

my hands. They’re sweating. I feel like I’m going to pass out. Deacon will be happy. I know that. But I’m still afraid. This will drive a wedge so far between him and Sam that I don’t know if that relationship will ever recover. I don’t want to be the one responsible for ruining a

has to know. And soon. This isn’t something

eyes when he sees me, but stands aside to let me in. There are boxes stacked up all over the living room. Bailey is in her playpen next to the

of fear ringing through me. Someone has obviously packed their belongings

until he sees me. His face

you doing here?” he asks in a way that lets me knows he’s happy for

you.” I wave my hands around, pointing at all the boxes. “What is all

a place of my own,” he

a place of his own that means we can finally spend as much time together as we want, make as much noise as we want while having sex. Hell, we can walk

fault,” Sam says, glaring at

fault? I don’t

a gym bag

didn’t start fighting until she

I do with my life has nothing to

care about what