Falling For The Man I Married

I sighed for I guess a hundred times since I parked my car in the parking lot of an OBGyne clinic. Why am I here--- it's because George called me earlier, wanted me to sign some documents at the clinic because she put me as her employer.

But the moment I closed the car door, I felt my heart drop to the ground due to the scene not far from where I was.

Gabriel got out of his car. He opened the passenger side and helped get the bitch to step out. Stacey.

-'They're also having a monthly checkup? And Gabriel is with her?'- asked the left side of my heart.

-'Well, what would you expect? He's the father.'- and the right responded.

I gulped the pain which I noticed has become my daily dose of vitamins. I chuckled and shook my head.

He put his hand on her lower back and they laughed as if they were a real couple. Well, they are only if I'm not married to him.

"Wow, life! I love my life!" I muttered slowly and laughed again. "Come on, Madi! Don't you ever cry again! Aren't you used to it? Come on!" 

I asked patting both of my cheeks and trying not to cry. 

"If you allow your feelings and the pain to let you down again this moment, you can never call yourself a strong person! Pretending to be happy when you're in pain is an example of how strong you are as a person! Get up, Madi. Just this once! Go!" 

I cheered myself up as I watched them walking towards the building entrance. 

"Just pretend you haven't seen them or pretend it's not them! Come on, you can do it!" 

I sighed and started walking my way towards the building. 

"Remember who you are! You're Madi! The ever-beautiful, confident, and STRONG Madi!"

That was the last self-advice I gave myself before turning my attention to the path I was walking on. I looked straight ahead and waited for them to disappear from my sight before deciding to enter the building.

But to my not-so-lucky-fucking-day, they stopped right in front of the clinic door where George was currently at. And my hand automatically covered my mouth to suppress the gasp when I saw them kissing.

-'Oh fuck! So they're now together?'-

I didn't finish the scene as I ran towards the nearest restroom. The moment I entered the door, the loud sobs were racing to escape my throat. I was the only person inside, so I let the pain be out of my system. 

I looked at myself in the mirror with tears obscuring my vision and wondered in silence.

-'When will you learn, Madi? Until when will you let the pain eat you up every time you're about to see the same scene in front of you?-'

I looked down and closed my eyes.

-'When will you let go? When will you stop that stupidity in you? You've suffered so much since you learned to love him. How long will you let him hurt you in silence?'-

"Cheating or one-sided love?"

I gasped when someone spoke behind me. I looked at the person in the mirror and saw the woman who asked me. She's in her late fifties. I wiped my tears with the tissue I took from my bag and looked directly at her.

"Cheating or one-sided love?" she asked me again.

another river of

"Both." 

of the counter. I felt a hand on my shoulder and when I looked in the mirror, I saw

it's hurting you deeply. It cuts everything, your heart,

nodded, wiping my

you let go?

are the same questions I was

to cry, be sad, break down and tear apart, so that we can learn

go of my face and took both of my

"What's your name, honey?"

"Madi."

to be broken, so when the pain comes to an end, and you become whole again..

tears finally came

remember this, Madi. Suffering doesn't mean, you have to let those people or that person hurt you repeatedly. Once is enough, twice well, think about it. But if it's more than that, let go of it, honey. In

both of my knuckles and smiled

as his priority. Don't waste your time

laugh at her

him will cause you pain, and a wound from it. But when the pain subsides, the wound will heal. It will leave you a scar but it will fade and disappear over time. Don't embrace the pain, embrace the life

and winked at me. I was about to speak when

me, Ma'am. I just have to

I hope someday when we meet again, you're smiling or laughing. And you already find the perfect one for you. I wish

don't know but all her words were like the

"Hello, George?"

I have been waiting for you for

I just ran into someone on

"Someone?"

worry, I'm on my

"Okay. Bye."

on my face before deciding to go to the clinic where

deep breath just when I was exactly in front of the clinic. -'I can do

face of my husband sitting next to Stacey, and in front of them was

me while Gabriel couldn't paint the shock written on his face when he recognized me. I admit, seeing him next to her and inside that clinic was a big slap in my face. It was like a million knives stabbing into my heart, but then again, I just swallowed the pain and pretended it was nothing

Gabriel murmured, getting up but George

came!" George squealed and hugged me

I hugged her back. I can clearly see Gabriel in the corner of my eyes watching our interaction, but I pretended I didn't notice him

someone you said

tried to laugh and thanks to my acting skills, I

George doesn't recognize Gabriel or she's

someone... nothing

and was about to open my mouth when I felt a

"Madi."

I pretended to be surprised to see him in the

"Gabriel?"