Fatal Shadows

Cops before breakfast. Before coffee even. As if Mondays weren’t bad enough. I stumbled downstairs, unlocked the glass front doors, shoved back the ornate security gate and let them in: two plainclothes detectives.

They identified themselves with a show of badges. Detective Chan was older, paunchy, a little rumpled, smelling of Old Spice and cigarettes as he brushed by me. The other one, Detective Riordan, was big and blond, with a neo-Nazi haircut and tawny eyes. Actually I had no idea what color his eyes were, but they were intent and unblinking, as though waiting for a sign of activity from the mouse hole.

“I’m afraid we have some bad news for you, Mr. English,” Detective Chan said as I started down the aisle of books toward my office.

I kept walking, as though I could walk away from whatever they were about to tell me.

“...concerning an employee of yours. A Mr. Robert Hersey.”

I slowed, stopped there in front of the Gothic section. A dozen damsels in distress (and flimsy negligees) caught my eyes. I turned to face the cops. They wore what I would describe as “official” expressions.

“What about Robert?” There was a cold sinking in my gut. I wished I’d stopped for shoes. Barefoot and unshaven, I felt unbraced for bad news. Of course it was bad news. Anything to do with Robert was bound to be bad news.

“He’s dead.” That was the tall one, Riordan. He-Man.

“Dead,” I repeated.

Silence.

“You don’t seem surprised.”

“Of course I’m surprised.” I was, wasn’t I? I felt kind of numb. “What happened? How did he die?”

They continued to eye me in that assessing way.

“He was murdered,” Detective Chan said.

My heart accelerated, then began to slug against my ribs. I felt the familiar weakness wash through me. My hands felt too heavy for my arms.

“I need to sit down,” I said.

I turned and headed back toward my office, reaching out to keep myself from careening into the crowded shelves. Behind me came the measured tread of their feet, just audible over the singing in my ears.

I pushed open my office door, sat heavily at the desk and opened a drawer, groping inside. The phone on my desk began to ring, jangling loudly in the paperback silence. I ignored it, found my pills, managed to get the top off, and palmed two. Washed them down with a swallow of whatever was in the can sitting there from yesterday. Tab. Warm Tab. It had a bracing effect.

“Sorry,” I told LA’s Finest. “Go ahead.”

had stopped ringing, started up again. “Aren’t you going to answer that?” Riordan inquired after

“How did —? Do you

The silence was even

was found stabbed to death last night in the

beat, “What can you tell us about Hersey? How well did you know

He’s worked for me for about a

problems there? What kind of an

blinked up at Chan. “He was okay,” I

kind of friend was he?”

“Sorry?”

sleeping

mouth

lovers?” Chan asked,

“No.”

straight as a stick figure, summing me up with those cool eyes, and finding me lacking

What of

“And Hersey was homosexual?”

enough to get angry. “We were friends, that’s all. I don’t know who Robert was sleeping with. He slept with a lot

mean it that way, I thought as Chan made a note. Or did I? I still couldn’t take it in. Robert murdered? Beaten up, yes. Arrested, sure. Maybe even dead in a car crash — or by autoerotic misadventure. But murdered? It seemed

wanting to ask if they were sure. Probably everyone they interviewed asked the same

because Riordan asked abruptly, “Are you all right, Mr. English? Are you

“I’m all right.”

the names of Hersey’s — uh — men

I didn’t socialize

“I thought

“We were. But —”

had the impression that Riordan was the main man. The one to watch

“We were friends, but Robert worked for me. Sometimes that put

“Meaning?”

all day; we wanted to

the last time you saw

point out that I had just said Robert and I didn’t socialize. I finished

“What friend?”

“He didn’t say.”