Forrest
Chapter 5 Troubled
FORREST
“GOOD TO see you again, Forrest.” Dr. Diana Reed sat back to her chair after our handshakes.
“You too, Dr. Reed.” I took a seat on the couch across hers while she was taking her notes and pen.
She smiled. “So, what brings you here today?”
I rested my arms on my thighs and linked my fingers together. “I don’t know.”
She studied me for a while before she asked. “Have you been having trouble sleeping lately?”
“No.” I hated it when people tried to read me, but this woman helped me a lot over the years. Alan usually gave me a long speech to visit my therapist if he knew constant nightmares were keeping me awake, but this time, I came here willingly. For what reason? I didn’t know.
“Something’s bothering you.” She smiled knowingly. “Let me rephrase. Is someone keeping you awake?” She must have noticed the dark circles under my eyes.
I licked my lips and shifted on the couch. I always kept everything under wraps, but I didn’t have an excuse when it came to my therapy. I had to talk about it somehow. “What made you say that?”
“I am your therapist, Forrest. You said you don’t have trouble sleeping, then this might be something new. Tell me about it.”
“I can’t say that she’s a bother though.”
“But?”
There was definitely a but. Of course. I opened my mouth to say something, but I couldn’t put what was bothering me into words. So I shut my mouth again.
“Okay. Tell me three things you think first thing in the morning.” She scribbled on her notes, then glanced back at me.
Fuck. Me.
“There’s nothing to be ashamed of, Forrest.”
“I am not ashamed, Dr. Reed.”
“Then you knew everything we discuss here is just between you and me. It’s normal to feel something toward a woman, to be sexually attracted over someone. And you’re young and good-looking.”
“I know. It’s just. It’s not about myself I am troubled about.”
“It’s normal to worry about someone.”
“Yeah. I guess so.”
“Let us think that you’re not talking to your therapist right now. Think of me as someone you trust.”
“I trust you, Dr. Reed.”
“So you have feelings for her.”
My gaze snapped at her. Her? Do I have? ”I am not sure.”
care about her.”
me from
me about it.”
“This happened about a year and a half ago. I just don’t know if she knows that I’d been watching her. We don’t talk, I mean we exchanged his and hellos a couple of times, but we never got a chance to have a long chit-chat and talk about
not?”
“We have nothing in common. We have different perspectives
“Do you believe that two
”Maybe.” I shrugged.
you say that you
“I’ve been keeping tabs on her. I know it sounds creepy, but I mean no harm.”
me about
just the way she is.” Whatever her reasons for avoiding a relationship, I wouldn’t stop until I figure out. “I have different views about sex. I want a deeper intimate connection with my sexual partner as much as
Go on.”
“I had a couple of one-night stands. It’s because I couldn’t escape, but I’ve been in a serious relationship as well. I can handle the temptation, I am good at that, but I believe sex has more meaning when two persons share it with special connections, with trust at least.”
believe that she doesn’t believe in relationships?”
so. She’s a commitment-phobic. Her friends’ word. Not
“And it’s bothering you.”
just— the thing is—” Fuck! I sighed. Why does it hard for me to express?
so?”
can’t just tell her to open up to me, besides, she already questioned my motives
her trust for her to open
satisfied with that arrangement. But lately, I couldn’t just watch her as she ruined her life with whatever she was trying to deal with alone. She needed someone. She needs me. Does she now, dumbass?
thought that was it, but I was completely wrong. Something flipped inside me and told
was right, it
“I wish it’s
to trust yourself, Forrest.”
***
breath after an hour on the treadmill, a hundred push-ups, crunches, and sit-ups, but I wasn’t nearly satisfied, and my mind was somewhere else most of the time. The Fleur Gym was just next door from the tattoo shop, also owned by Alan. I didn’t know what I was doing here, the fact that I had a mini-gym in my pad. Perhaps, I needed a little bit of advice.
Yeah, I kinda knew what coffee she liked.
did a few bench pressing. Then, I placed the weight back, sat up, and
after stepping out of the treadmill. Then propped his hands on his hips, looking down at me. “Try sharing. It’s not bad to talk to someone and ask for help once in
my fingers through my
fixed his 3C hair with the black headband. “Grow some balls already and just do whatever you are planning to do,” he added. Yeah, maybe it was easier
said I’m fine.” Pissed, I stood
grow your balls, Wood!”
need
to put myself together. I couldn’t let this thing mix up with my priority that I’d been investing over these years. Personal entanglement was the last thing I wanted. It would complicate things. I kept reminding myself
do any good, but this was me. I had to embrace what I’d become. Nothing was going to change
friends. They’d grown on me, and I liked the feeling that I
my screen that had my heart leaped over my throat. Speaking of
Megan: Hi. Sorry for this unusual message. I don’t even know what I am doing at the diner
I swallowed hard as I reread after reread her message. It was really from
are you doing here, Megan?
in the air, rereading my message if it was right to ask or I sounded like a
you think? I don’t eat
her eyes. I typed my
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