Forrest
Chapter 5 Troubled
FORREST
“GOOD TO see you again, Forrest.” Dr. Diana Reed sat back to her chair after our handshakes.
“You too, Dr. Reed.” I took a seat on the couch across hers while she was taking her notes and pen.
She smiled. “So, what brings you here today?”
I rested my arms on my thighs and linked my fingers together. “I don’t know.”
She studied me for a while before she asked. “Have you been having trouble sleeping lately?”
“No.” I hated it when people tried to read me, but this woman helped me a lot over the years. Alan usually gave me a long speech to visit my therapist if he knew constant nightmares were keeping me awake, but this time, I came here willingly. For what reason? I didn’t know.
“Something’s bothering you.” She smiled knowingly. “Let me rephrase. Is someone keeping you awake?” She must have noticed the dark circles under my eyes.
I licked my lips and shifted on the couch. I always kept everything under wraps, but I didn’t have an excuse when it came to my therapy. I had to talk about it somehow. “What made you say that?”
“I am your therapist, Forrest. You said you don’t have trouble sleeping, then this might be something new. Tell me about it.”
“I can’t say that she’s a bother though.”
“But?”
There was definitely a but. Of course. I opened my mouth to say something, but I couldn’t put what was bothering me into words. So I shut my mouth again.
“Okay. Tell me three things you think first thing in the morning.” She scribbled on her notes, then glanced back at me.
Fuck. Me.
“There’s nothing to be ashamed of, Forrest.”
“I am not ashamed, Dr. Reed.”
“Then you knew everything we discuss here is just between you and me. It’s normal to feel something toward a woman, to be sexually attracted over someone. And you’re young and good-looking.”
“I know. It’s just. It’s not about myself I am troubled about.”
“It’s normal to worry about someone.”
“Yeah. I guess so.”
“Let us think that you’re not talking to your therapist right now. Think of me as someone you trust.”
“I trust you, Dr. Reed.”
“So you have feelings for her.”
My gaze snapped at her. Her? Do I have? ”I am not sure.”
care about her.”
“Yes.” Jesus! I just admitted. I wanted to run and never come back. Something kept me from not doing so, instead, I crossed my legs, resting my back
“That’s progress. Tell me
and a half ago. I just don’t know if she knows that I’d been watching her. We don’t talk, I mean we exchanged his and hellos a couple of times, but we never got a chance to have a long chit-chat and
not?”
have nothing in common. We have different perspectives about relationships.”
believe that two
I
made you say that you two have
her. I know it sounds
alright. Tell me about her.”
most men like that quality in a woman, but I like her just the way she is.” Whatever her reasons for avoiding a relationship, I wouldn’t stop until I figure out. “I have different views about sex. I want a deeper intimate connection with
great. Go on.”
relationship as well. I can handle the temptation, I am good at that, but I believe sex has more
you believe that she doesn’t believe in
think so. She’s a commitment-phobic. Her friends’ word.
it’s bothering
care. It’s just— the thing is—” Fuck! I sighed. Why does it hard for me to
so?”
her to open up to me, besides, she already questioned my motives
gain her trust for her to open up to you?”
or why I was so bothered, to begin with? It’d been almost two years since I’d been watching her, and I was satisfied with that arrangement. But lately, I couldn’t just watch her as she ruined her life with whatever she was trying to deal with alone. She needed someone. She needs me. Does
Something flipped inside me and told me to do something, and that I
right, it was immensely bothering me.
it’s
to trust yourself, Forrest.”
***
but I wasn’t nearly satisfied, and my mind was somewhere else most of the time. The Fleur Gym was just next door from the tattoo shop, also owned by Alan. I didn’t know what I was
Yeah, I kinda knew what coffee she liked. Just the word talk made me wince in embarrassments of not having guts to ask her. Every time I saw her number on my phone,
lied down flat, and did a few bench pressing. Then, I placed the weight back, sat up, and growled
after stepping out of the treadmill. Then propped his hands on his hips, looking down at me. “Try sharing. It’s not bad to talk to someone and ask for help once in a while.
denied, raking my fingers through
headband. “Grow some balls already and just do whatever you are planning to do,” he added. Yeah, maybe
stood up and
“Whatever grow your balls,
need growing!”
myself together. I couldn’t let this thing mix up with my priority that I’d been investing over these years. Personal entanglement was the last thing I wanted. It would complicate things. I kept reminding myself
was me. I had to embrace what I’d become. Nothing was going to change my past. I was happy with it, until recently that I had to
liked the feeling
that had my heart leaped over my throat. Speaking
Hi. Sorry for this unusual message. I don’t even know what I am doing at the diner across
her message. It was really from her because I had her number
Forrest: What are you doing here, Megan? Wanna get a tattoo?
if it was right to ask or I sounded
What do you think? I
I could feel her rolling her eyes. I typed my reply.
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