Forrest
Chapter 5 Troubled
FORREST
“GOOD TO see you again, Forrest.” Dr. Diana Reed sat back to her chair after our handshakes.
“You too, Dr. Reed.” I took a seat on the couch across hers while she was taking her notes and pen.
She smiled. “So, what brings you here today?”
I rested my arms on my thighs and linked my fingers together. “I don’t know.”
She studied me for a while before she asked. “Have you been having trouble sleeping lately?”
“No.” I hated it when people tried to read me, but this woman helped me a lot over the years. Alan usually gave me a long speech to visit my therapist if he knew constant nightmares were keeping me awake, but this time, I came here willingly. For what reason? I didn’t know.
“Something’s bothering you.” She smiled knowingly. “Let me rephrase. Is someone keeping you awake?” She must have noticed the dark circles under my eyes.
I licked my lips and shifted on the couch. I always kept everything under wraps, but I didn’t have an excuse when it came to my therapy. I had to talk about it somehow. “What made you say that?”
“I am your therapist, Forrest. You said you don’t have trouble sleeping, then this might be something new. Tell me about it.”
“I can’t say that she’s a bother though.”
“But?”
There was definitely a but. Of course. I opened my mouth to say something, but I couldn’t put what was bothering me into words. So I shut my mouth again.
“Okay. Tell me three things you think first thing in the morning.” She scribbled on her notes, then glanced back at me.
Fuck. Me.
“There’s nothing to be ashamed of, Forrest.”
“I am not ashamed, Dr. Reed.”
“Then you knew everything we discuss here is just between you and me. It’s normal to feel something toward a woman, to be sexually attracted over someone. And you’re young and good-looking.”
“I know. It’s just. It’s not about myself I am troubled about.”
“It’s normal to worry about someone.”
“Yeah. I guess so.”
“Let us think that you’re not talking to your therapist right now. Think of me as someone you trust.”
“I trust you, Dr. Reed.”
“So you have feelings for her.”
My gaze snapped at her. Her? Do I have? ”I am not sure.”
“But you care about her.”
I wanted to run and never come back. Something kept me from not doing so, instead, I crossed my legs, resting my back
Tell me about it.”
know if she knows that I’d been watching her. We don’t talk, I mean we exchanged his and hellos a couple of times, but we never got a chance to have a
“Why not?”
in common. We have different perspectives about relationships.”
believe that two opposite people attract?”
”Maybe.” I shrugged.
you two have
been keeping tabs on her. I know it sounds creepy,
Tell me about
start? I cleared my throat. “She’s straightforward, funny, quirky, beautiful, but what enticed me...” Enticed? Jesus. I wanted to hit myself in the head. “...is her loose-tongued sharpness. I know not most men like that quality in a woman, but I like her just the way she is.” Whatever her reasons for avoiding a relationship, I wouldn’t stop until I figure out. “I have different views about sex. I want a deeper intimate connection with my sexual partner as much as possible or at least
great. Go on.”
escape, but I’ve been in a serious relationship as well. I can handle the temptation, I am good at that, but I believe
you believe that she doesn’t
so. She’s a commitment-phobic. Her friends’ word.
it’s bothering you.”
I don’t care. It’s just— the thing is—” Fuck! I sighed. Why does it hard for
so?”
sad, and I knew something’s wrong. I’ve never seen her so down since I met her, but I can’t just tell her to open up to me, besides, she already questioned my motives on why suddenly, I am talking to
“You want to gain her trust for
how should I answer her that I wanted more. The fact that I didn’t even know how to approach Megan or why I was so bothered, to begin with? It’d been almost two years since I’d been watching her, and I was satisfied with that arrangement. But lately, I couldn’t just watch her as she ruined her life with whatever she was trying to deal
Something flipped inside me and told me to do something, and
Reed was right, it was immensely bothering
wish it’s that
to trust yourself, Forrest.”
***
somewhere else most of the time. The Fleur Gym was just next door from the tattoo shop, also owned by Alan. I didn’t know what I was doing here,
since I planned on approaching Megan and asked her if we could talk over a coffee. I scoffed. Now, I’m weird. Over a coffee? Yeah, I kinda knew what coffee she liked. Just the word talk made me wince in embarrassments of not
flat, and did a few bench pressing. Then, I placed the weight back,
his hips, looking down at me. “Try sharing. It’s not bad to talk to someone and ask for help once in a while. Just don’t ask me for cash.”
I denied, raking my fingers through my
balls already and just do whatever you are planning to do,” he added. Yeah, maybe it was easier said than done.
stood up and walked away from him.
your balls,
need growing!”
shower with a hazy brain. I needed to put myself together. I couldn’t let this thing mix up with my priority that I’d been investing over these years. Personal entanglement was the last
to embrace what I’d become. Nothing was going to change my past. I was happy with it, until recently that I had to ask myself
me, and I liked the feeling that
A message popped up from my screen that had my heart leaped over
I am doing at the diner across the tattoo
after reread her message. It was really from her because
What are you doing here, Megan? Wanna get a tattoo?
air, rereading my message if it was right to ask or I sounded like a stupid.
What do you think? I don’t eat ink and
her rolling her eyes. I typed
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