Forrest
Chapter 5 Troubled
FORREST
“GOOD TO see you again, Forrest.” Dr. Diana Reed sat back to her chair after our handshakes.
“You too, Dr. Reed.” I took a seat on the couch across hers while she was taking her notes and pen.
She smiled. “So, what brings you here today?”
I rested my arms on my thighs and linked my fingers together. “I don’t know.”
She studied me for a while before she asked. “Have you been having trouble sleeping lately?”
“No.” I hated it when people tried to read me, but this woman helped me a lot over the years. Alan usually gave me a long speech to visit my therapist if he knew constant nightmares were keeping me awake, but this time, I came here willingly. For what reason? I didn’t know.
“Something’s bothering you.” She smiled knowingly. “Let me rephrase. Is someone keeping you awake?” She must have noticed the dark circles under my eyes.
I licked my lips and shifted on the couch. I always kept everything under wraps, but I didn’t have an excuse when it came to my therapy. I had to talk about it somehow. “What made you say that?”
“I am your therapist, Forrest. You said you don’t have trouble sleeping, then this might be something new. Tell me about it.”
“I can’t say that she’s a bother though.”
“But?”
There was definitely a but. Of course. I opened my mouth to say something, but I couldn’t put what was bothering me into words. So I shut my mouth again.
“Okay. Tell me three things you think first thing in the morning.” She scribbled on her notes, then glanced back at me.
Fuck. Me.
“There’s nothing to be ashamed of, Forrest.”
“I am not ashamed, Dr. Reed.”
“Then you knew everything we discuss here is just between you and me. It’s normal to feel something toward a woman, to be sexually attracted over someone. And you’re young and good-looking.”
“I know. It’s just. It’s not about myself I am troubled about.”
“It’s normal to worry about someone.”
“Yeah. I guess so.”
“Let us think that you’re not talking to your therapist right now. Think of me as someone you trust.”
“I trust you, Dr. Reed.”
“So you have feelings for her.”
My gaze snapped at her. Her? Do I have? ”I am not sure.”
“But you care about her.”
“Yes.” Jesus! I just admitted. I wanted to run and never come back. Something kept me from not doing so,
me about
about a year and a half ago. I just don’t know if she knows that I’d been watching her. We don’t talk, I mean we
“Why not?”
have nothing in common. We have
“Do you believe that two
Yes. ”Maybe.” I
made you say that you two have different
“I’ve been keeping tabs on her. I know it sounds creepy,
“It’s alright. Tell me about her.”
I wanted to hit myself in the head. “...is her loose-tongued sharpness. I know not most men like that quality in a woman, but I like her just the way she is.” Whatever her reasons for avoiding a relationship, I wouldn’t stop until I figure out. “I have different views about sex. I want a deeper intimate connection with my sexual partner as much as
“That’s great. Go on.”
because I couldn’t escape, but I’ve been in a serious relationship as well. I can handle the temptation, I am good at that, but I believe sex has more meaning when two
that she doesn’t believe in relationships?”
She’s a commitment-phobic. Her friends’
it’s bothering you.”
Why does it hard for
“How so?”
I’ve never seen her so down since I met her, but I can’t just tell her to open up to me, besides, she already questioned my motives on why suddenly, I am talking to her.
want to gain her trust for her to open up to you?”
that I didn’t even know how to approach Megan or why I was so bothered, to begin with? It’d been almost two years since I’d been watching her, and I was satisfied with that arrangement. But lately, I couldn’t just watch her as she ruined her life with whatever she was trying to deal with alone. She needed
reminded me of someone. I thought that was it, but I was completely wrong. Something flipped inside me and told
was right, it was immensely bothering
“I wish it’s that easy.”
to trust yourself, Forrest.”
***
catching my breath after an hour on the treadmill, a hundred push-ups, crunches, and sit-ups, but I wasn’t nearly satisfied, and my mind was somewhere else most of the time. The Fleur Gym was just next door from the tattoo shop, also owned by Alan. I didn’t know what I was doing here, the fact that I had
week since I planned on approaching Megan and asked her if we could talk over a coffee. I scoffed. Now, I’m weird. Over a coffee? Yeah, I kinda knew what coffee she liked. Just the word talk made me wince in
forehead, I slumped my ass to the bench, lied down flat, and did a few bench pressing. Then, I
looking down at me. “Try sharing. It’s not bad to talk to someone and ask for help
raking my fingers through my
and just do whatever you are planning to do,” he added. Yeah,
fine.” Pissed, I stood up and
your balls,
“Your balls need growing!”
shower with a hazy brain. I needed to put myself together. I couldn’t let this thing mix up with my priority that I’d been investing over these years. Personal entanglement was the last thing I wanted. It would complicate things. I kept reminding myself that many times for a week now, but it didn’t help. I realized it was too late. My life had been complicated
what I’d become. Nothing was going to change my past. I was
liked the feeling that I cared about someone more than myself. Damn it,
heart leaped over my throat. Speaking of the devil. How did she
doing at the diner across the tattoo shop, but here
message. It was really
What are you doing here, Megan? Wanna get
hung in the air, rereading my message if it was right to
What do you think? I don’t eat ink and needles.
her rolling her eyes. I typed my
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