Her FaceBook Friend

“A day will come when you will realize that not killing yourself is the best feeling in the world because you will realize there is much more in life than the sadness that surrounded you the time you tried to suicide.”[Ifveen]

…

“Sorry?”

“I was angry” huh. My eyes sharpened reading the text, why was he angry? Just because I declined to send him a picture. Who does he think he is! How can he hurt me and then go back to like it was nothing? As if.

‘But he saved you today Jacqueline! Otherwise, you might be dead, instead of seeing yourself here.’

‘You could end this in a second Jacqueline. This weird friendship if you want to.’

‘But would you like that? To end your first friendship this miserably? It wasn’t like you didn’t say anything to him. You did. You have trust issues, Jacqueline. You have insecurities, so you can’t force your explanation on him.

What if he just wanted to see you?

What if he didn’t have any bad intention towards you?

What if he was hurt by your words?’

‘You can’t run from people all your life Jacqueline. Your coping mechanism will fail you one day Jacqueline.’

My mind reminded me, a part telling me that I was right. While another part telling me that I was wrong. Without even realizing I found it hard to breathe when my gaze landed on the white gauze wrapped around my wrist.

‘That’s right. He did save me. So I shouldn’t ignore him. It’s all me. He just wanted a picture that I denied because of my insecurities. He must have felt bad about it.’

I a**umed his emotions by heart even though he didn’t say a word.

Taking a deep breath, I opened the FB again. Texting him back.

“It’s Okay. I was a little bit rude earlier today. I am sorry too.”

Almost immediately another text arises and I found myself staring at it.

“It’s Okay. I will wait for the day till you start trusting me so much that you will share your picture with me willingly.”

My sealed lips tugged upward ever so slightly in the gloominess of night. Yet My mind jumbled all the thoughts together making me struggle to find a perfect reply.

ADVERTISEMENT

“It will never happen!”

“We will see.”

or two,

“Hm.”

Is everything alright with

“Yeah. Why?”

know, I feel like I am not talking

“Why?”

like to share it

“Nothing is wrong.”

you say

stomach and empty soul surrounded me and I reminisced the part where I was getting slapped again and again. Where I have faked

attention back

“Jacqueline?”

“Yes.”

“What’s wrong?”

meant yes I had

feel like you are sad today. Did something

white screen filled with blue marks made my

ADVERTISEMENT

Drop by drop.

me feel as if

“Nothing Happened. Good night.”

didn’t remember when I had sat on the bed when I

Or the sadness that

eyes had decided to water as much as a river. My distracted mind had returned to the same scene where dad was hitting me like I didn’t matter to him. Like I was nothing in his

fell on the pillow covers, wetting them in certain patterns while all the beatings that I had been through in my life played in my mind like an action-packed movie where I was the punching bag of everyone.

cure Mumma’s illnesses.” My knees pressed against my stomach as I found myself

did I committed that you are punishing me in this way! If you can not change these conditions. Then call me to heaven. Oh God, Please give

heart again

up, it felt like a

have cried. The white flowery pillow was soaked from one side. Maybe

and left for school. I was early today, I knew I was. But I didn’t have the energy to answer Nikki’s stupid questions. If she saw me

sat down on my regular seat. While he turned his neck

wrong Beta? Are you