Her FaceBook Friend

“A day will come when you will realize that not killing yourself is the best feeling in the world because you will realize there is much more in life than the sadness that surrounded you the time you tried to suicide.”[Ifveen]

…

“Sorry?”

“I was angry” huh. My eyes sharpened reading the text, why was he angry? Just because I declined to send him a picture. Who does he think he is! How can he hurt me and then go back to like it was nothing? As if.

‘But he saved you today Jacqueline! Otherwise, you might be dead, instead of seeing yourself here.’

‘You could end this in a second Jacqueline. This weird friendship if you want to.’

‘But would you like that? To end your first friendship this miserably? It wasn’t like you didn’t say anything to him. You did. You have trust issues, Jacqueline. You have insecurities, so you can’t force your explanation on him.

What if he just wanted to see you?

What if he didn’t have any bad intention towards you?

What if he was hurt by your words?’

‘You can’t run from people all your life Jacqueline. Your coping mechanism will fail you one day Jacqueline.’

My mind reminded me, a part telling me that I was right. While another part telling me that I was wrong. Without even realizing I found it hard to breathe when my gaze landed on the white gauze wrapped around my wrist.

‘That’s right. He did save me. So I shouldn’t ignore him. It’s all me. He just wanted a picture that I denied because of my insecurities. He must have felt bad about it.’

I a**umed his emotions by heart even though he didn’t say a word.

Taking a deep breath, I opened the FB again. Texting him back.

“It’s Okay. I was a little bit rude earlier today. I am sorry too.”

Almost immediately another text arises and I found myself staring at it.

“It’s Okay. I will wait for the day till you start trusting me so much that you will share your picture with me willingly.”

My sealed lips tugged upward ever so slightly in the gloominess of night. Yet My mind jumbled all the thoughts together making me struggle to find a perfect reply.

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“It will never happen!”

“We will see.”

or two, I

“Hm.”

Is everything alright

“Yeah. Why?”

I feel like I am not talking

“Why?”

like

“Nothing is wrong.”

you

dinner?” The feeling of an empty stomach and empty soul surrounded me and I reminisced the part where I was getting slapped again and again. Where I

attention back to

“Jacqueline?”

“Yes.”

“What’s wrong?”

meant yes I had

like you are sad today.

white screen filled with blue marks made my eyes sting as the tears

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Drop by drop.

if the alphabets are laughing at my misery, Just like how my schoolmates

“Nothing Happened. Good night.”

didn’t remember when I had sat on the bed when I was in the middle

Or the sadness

much as a river. My distracted mind

my life played in my mind like an action-packed movie where I was the

Please. Please cure Mumma’s illnesses.” My knees pressed against my stomach as I found myself

did I committed that you are punishing me in this way! If you can not change these conditions. Then call me to heaven. Oh God, Please give

those words in my heart again

when I woke up, it felt like a part of me had

red filled with dark circles, my face seemed too red leaving traces that I must have cried. The white flowery pillow was soaked from one side. Maybe it was the combination

I didn’t

While he turned his neck towards me as he said locking his gaze

wrong Beta?