After clearing up the breakfast dishes, I go looking for Klempner. I find him outside, on the terrace. The fog is clearing and leaning with both hands on the wall, he stares out over the valley, watching wreaths of silver mist twine over the lake.

I take a place beside him. “You okay?”

He turns. “Yes,” he smiles, “I'm extraordinarily okay.”

He looks away, then looks back, meeting my eye. “But we both know I fit in there like a giraffe in a wet suit. However, my thanks for the invitation. I appreciate it. I really do...” He picks at a bit of lichen growing on the stonework.

“But you're not ready to settle down with the carpet slippers and the chocolate Labrador by the hearth?”

“No. And as you said, there are things I need to do, dealing with Baxter being the priority.” He blows air. “Do you think Mitch will handle that? For some fairly obvious reasons, I can't stay here long. But even if I could stay, it wouldn’t work. Not long term.”

“I think you should ask her yourself…”

“But…”

“… But… I suspect that for both of you, simply knowing that the other is there will count for a lot. And besides, if you're careful, you can visit from time to time. See your daughter, your grand-daughter.”

He looks at his feet, scuffing at the ground. “I suppose.”

“Does it occur to you that for Mitch, a… um… part-time relationship, might appeal?”

His forehead furrows. “Run that by me again.”

“Mitch has had men controlling her all her life. Or trying to. She’s enjoying her freedom, especially now she’s earning money… Real money… in her own right. Living a life of her own but having a partner… you… there occasionally might just work, for both of you. The two of you would simply spend quality time together.”

He rubs the back of his neck. “Would that work?”

“It might. It wouldn’t be for everyone. But for Mitch… And for you… Who knows? Wouldn’t it be worth a try?”

His head sways, slowly, up and down. “Do you think Jenny will want to see me?”

“I think so, yes. It might be a bit of a rocky road for a while, but it will be good for her.”

“And you? Will I be welcome here?”

“For me, yes, you’ll be welcome. But for now, will you stay for Christmas? I’m sure Mitch would like that.”

“Yes…” He scuffs at the ground. “I think I will. In any case, there are things I need to do here too.”

“And after that? Back to Thailand?”

He flashes me a startled glance, then his smile twists into humour. “Um... Nooo… Not Thailand. It's not a very healthy environment for me just now. No, it’s South America for me next.”

“Will you keep me informed on that? Anything you learn.”

“Of course. I’ll set something up so we can stay in contact this time… without you having to rig up my old wiretap again.”

*****

Klempner

At the door, standing ajar, I hesitate, my stomach suddenly dropping away.

Have I done enough?

With muscles oddly reluctant to move, I tap on the door, very quietly.

“It’s open.”

I push, and too slowly, the door swings wider.

Jenny’s sitting in a rocking chair by the window. Her hair, so like her mother’s spills over a thick shawl pulled around her shoulders. A warm blanket covers her lap. And her face, while pale, has lost that sheen she had when Michael and I found her.

And held in her arms, wrapped in layers of knitted woollens…

Cara…

Your daughter.

My granddaughter.

I want to say something. Something appropriate, but I’m not sure what it should be.

I abused you…

Mistreated you…

Took my revenge on you…

something you had

gaze rises to

did I ever think to see you

“May I come in?”

“Of course you can.”

fiddles with the layers of blankets and then, in a cheek-scalding

Oh, God…

She’s feeding her…

where to look. “My apologies. I didn’t intend to

isn’t exactly new to me. Even seeing Jenny giving birth to the baby in

Breast-feeding?

Too personal…

I spin,

Anywhere else…

for my eyes to

accompanied by

the other,

It moves…

someone let your mother loose

recognise it?

yes. She's still using that trick

loveliest smile I’ve ever seen.

I shift again watching the thing nod in agreement with the mermaid. “It was a butterfly the first time I

know how

seen something about cave paintings; how they were intended to be seen by firelight, to

opens a little. “Will you tell

“Like what?”

you and Mom. How you met. How you got

me. “You’re

“I think so, yes.”

has never been my strong suit, and now, here;

She watches me, calm,

I… I wish I could

past. What’s happened, has happened. But you can change the future…” She tilts her

know what to say. Inside I’m tight, cold, but heat rises

Long seconds pass.

shifts, adjusting the blankets and her clothes as the rocker moves slightly, to and fro. Absently, I notice that the chair also has received the ‘Mitch treatment’, painted cream, ferns twine up and around the

two towards me, the baby still in

me jolts.

She’s your granddaughter. Don’t you

heat in

me the cooing, gurgling

and I turn to see James, Michael and Mitch,

He raises brows, lips twitching. “She’s the mother. It’s

Michael steps forward,

closer, offering her baby to

My granddaughter…

protesting the indignity of the world. The features are soft and unformed. A drop of milk dribbles

do

What’s expected?

I extend a finger into the

the end of my

Such tiny fingernails.

me. “You want to. I can see

clumsy. I’ve never done this

sake

cradle her

hand, slipping it under the head.

Then she steps away.

quite focussed on me.

Dark-haired like her father?

touch

What to say?

“Hello, Cara.”

says, “It’s

Crap…

many fucking times can

even get the

“It’s not? I thought…”

her arm “Charlotte? I thought…” There’s hurt in his voice. And confusion.

Even James is frowning.

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