After clearing up the breakfast dishes, I go looking for Klempner. I find him outside, on the terrace. The fog is clearing and leaning with both hands on the wall, he stares out over the valley, watching wreaths of silver mist twine over the lake.

I take a place beside him. “You okay?”

He turns. “Yes,” he smiles, “I'm extraordinarily okay.”

He looks away, then looks back, meeting my eye. “But we both know I fit in there like a giraffe in a wet suit. However, my thanks for the invitation. I appreciate it. I really do...” He picks at a bit of lichen growing on the stonework.

“But you're not ready to settle down with the carpet slippers and the chocolate Labrador by the hearth?”

“No. And as you said, there are things I need to do, dealing with Baxter being the priority.” He blows air. “Do you think Mitch will handle that? For some fairly obvious reasons, I can't stay here long. But even if I could stay, it wouldn’t work. Not long term.”

“I think you should ask her yourself…”

“But…”

“… But… I suspect that for both of you, simply knowing that the other is there will count for a lot. And besides, if you're careful, you can visit from time to time. See your daughter, your grand-daughter.”

He looks at his feet, scuffing at the ground. “I suppose.”

“Does it occur to you that for Mitch, a… um… part-time relationship, might appeal?”

His forehead furrows. “Run that by me again.”

“Mitch has had men controlling her all her life. Or trying to. She’s enjoying her freedom, especially now she’s earning money… Real money… in her own right. Living a life of her own but having a partner… you… there occasionally might just work, for both of you. The two of you would simply spend quality time together.”

He rubs the back of his neck. “Would that work?”

“It might. It wouldn’t be for everyone. But for Mitch… And for you… Who knows? Wouldn’t it be worth a try?”

His head sways, slowly, up and down. “Do you think Jenny will want to see me?”

“I think so, yes. It might be a bit of a rocky road for a while, but it will be good for her.”

“And you? Will I be welcome here?”

“For me, yes, you’ll be welcome. But for now, will you stay for Christmas? I’m sure Mitch would like that.”

“Yes…” He scuffs at the ground. “I think I will. In any case, there are things I need to do here too.”

“And after that? Back to Thailand?”

He flashes me a startled glance, then his smile twists into humour. “Um... Nooo… Not Thailand. It's not a very healthy environment for me just now. No, it’s South America for me next.”

“Will you keep me informed on that? Anything you learn.”

“Of course. I’ll set something up so we can stay in contact this time… without you having to rig up my old wiretap again.”

*****

Klempner

At the door, standing ajar, I hesitate, my stomach suddenly dropping away.

Have I done enough?

With muscles oddly reluctant to move, I tap on the door, very quietly.

“It’s open.”

I push, and too slowly, the door swings wider.

Jenny’s sitting in a rocking chair by the window. Her hair, so like her mother’s spills over a thick shawl pulled around her shoulders. A warm blanket covers her lap. And her face, while pale, has lost that sheen she had when Michael and I found her.

And held in her arms, wrapped in layers of knitted woollens…

Cara…

Your daughter.

My granddaughter.

I want to say something. Something appropriate, but I’m not sure what it should be.

I abused you…

Mistreated you…

Took my revenge on you…

you had no

your gaze rises to me, you

did I ever think to see you smile at

“May I come in?”

“Of course you can.”

with the layers of blankets and then, in a cheek-scalding moment, I

Oh, God…

She’s feeding her…

“My apologies. I didn’t intend to interrupt my granddaughter's

flesh isn’t exactly new to me. Even seeing Jenny giving birth to the baby in her arms was

Breast-feeding?

Too personal…

spin, trying to find

Anywhere else…

for my eyes

in a multicoloured herd accompanied

one way then the

It moves…

see someone let your mother loose with

recognise it?

yes. She's still using that trick I see.

loveliest smile I’ve ever seen. “You've

watching the thing nod in agreement with the mermaid. “It

how she does

told me she’d seen something about cave paintings; how they were intended

a little. “Will you tell

“Like what?”

you met. How you got to

me. “You’re sure you

“I think so, yes.”

never been my strong suit, and

room. She watches me, calm,

could change what’s past.

happened. But you can change the

I’m tight, cold, but heat rises up my

Long seconds pass.

to and fro. Absently, I notice that the chair also has received the ‘Mitch treatment’,

the baby still

me

hold her. She’s your granddaughter. Don’t you

and the heat in my

me

turn to see James, Michael and Mitch, all

brows, lips twitching. “She’s

she moves, but Michael steps forward, a hand under her arm.

offering her baby

My granddaughter…

are soft

do I

What’s expected?

extend a finger

touch, another hand, smaller than the end of my thumb, takes hold of my finger, gripping

Such tiny fingernails.

presses her to me. “You want

never done this before, but

fuck’s sake

I cradle her in my

She takes my hand, slipping it under the head. “Her neck muscles

Then she steps away.

are dark, hazy and, I think not quite focussed on me.

Dark-haired like her father?

touch of red

What to say?

“Hello, Cara.”

“It’s

Crap…

can I fucking

get the

“It’s not? I thought…”

“Charlotte? I thought…” There’s hurt in his voice. And

Even James is frowning.

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