The Gang picks up my mood, milling around. Archie bounces about, yapping excitedly until Meg snaps at him and he sheers off. Then as the four play at rough-and-tumble under the table, Scruffy joins them and I snap. “Quiet! All of you!”

The dogs subside and assemble under the desk, panting. Ryan stares at me. “Kirstie?”

I shouldn’t have done that.

They’re only enjoying themselves…

Too much wine...

That’s what I tell myself anyway. “I’ll be back in a while. I’m taking the dogs out.”

He starts to rise from the chair. “I’ll keep you company.”

I shake my head. “No, it’s alright.” He stares after me as I exit the study.

Wrapping a thick scarf around my neck and tugging mittens onto hands, I call the dogs and once more they bounce jubilantly after me as I head outdoors.

I gasp at the frigid wall of air as I open the door. The Gang don’t seem to notice, tumbling out into the snow as I carefully pull the door closed behind me.

The icy air and brilliant sunshine are an instant antidote to my ill mood. Around me lies a vast sparkling snowscape, covering grass and shrub and tree, rolling down the mountain to where even the lake lies as a single glistening sheet.

What do I have to be miserable about?

Really?

I pace up and down in the snow, watching the dogs playing, racing around in silly circles, barking joyously.

What’s wrong with me?

Just nerves?

Self-analysis isn’t easy. Sometimes one must face unpleasant truths.

Is it just nerves?

Just anxiety about the biggest purchase I’m ever likely to make?

Or is it more?

Ryan…

I was single for years. Happily so.

And then Ryan appeared in my life.

I love you.

to be

as he excavates a hole, spraying snow backwards and covering

I catch that

my neck

I’m being watched…

Don’t be ridiculous…

Cautiously, I scan around.

is still

Is he watching us?

fucking obvious strikes

why Klempner’s still

on the edges of my

is Charlotte’s father. His face impassive, Klempner stands at the back of the terrace, leaning against the wall, cradling a steaming mug

sorry.

disturbing me. I just wanted some

It’s all a bit…” I wave

My what?

I don’t know.

for a moment

Just a bit… out of sorts.” His brows rise, as though waiting for me to keep speaking. For some reason, I want to fill the silence.

slowly, pursing his lips. “So there

reason I’m not

he out here

“Are you alright?”

brighter. “No, I'm good. It's just that when I accepted the invitation to Christmas, I didn't really know what to expect. I thought all that…” He waves back in towards the house… “… stuff just came out of movies. Holly and trees and mulled wine… I never believed it was real.” He sips at his drink. “The whole Christmas family thing… is wonderful and they're making me very welcome, but it's all

again. “To tell the truth, I find

Charlotte, certainly. I don't think she's had very many good

into his mug. “No,

remember who I'm talking to. That this solitary, silent man,

he seems civilised

someone

not too

“What happened?” I ask.

to stay for Christmas. You have a

they want. But it's not what I meant. I meant, what happened to you? I mean, you’re Lawrence Klempner…” His lips quirk… “… And yet here you are helping to decorate a tree with Christmas

ill-manners of my question and the possible consequences

I finish…

mild, tinged with amusement. “What you expected? Yes, in fact I

My cheeks burn…

that you're apt to let your mouth run

Oh… Jeez…

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