The Gang picks up my mood, milling around. Archie bounces about, yapping excitedly until Meg snaps at him and he sheers off. Then as the four play at rough-and-tumble under the table, Scruffy joins them and I snap. “Quiet! All of you!”

The dogs subside and assemble under the desk, panting. Ryan stares at me. “Kirstie?”

I shouldn’t have done that.

They’re only enjoying themselves…

Too much wine...

That’s what I tell myself anyway. “I’ll be back in a while. I’m taking the dogs out.”

He starts to rise from the chair. “I’ll keep you company.”

I shake my head. “No, it’s alright.” He stares after me as I exit the study.

Wrapping a thick scarf around my neck and tugging mittens onto hands, I call the dogs and once more they bounce jubilantly after me as I head outdoors.

I gasp at the frigid wall of air as I open the door. The Gang don’t seem to notice, tumbling out into the snow as I carefully pull the door closed behind me.

The icy air and brilliant sunshine are an instant antidote to my ill mood. Around me lies a vast sparkling snowscape, covering grass and shrub and tree, rolling down the mountain to where even the lake lies as a single glistening sheet.

What do I have to be miserable about?

Really?

I pace up and down in the snow, watching the dogs playing, racing around in silly circles, barking joyously.

What’s wrong with me?

Just nerves?

Self-analysis isn’t easy. Sometimes one must face unpleasant truths.

Is it just nerves?

Just anxiety about the biggest purchase I’m ever likely to make?

Or is it more?

Ryan…

I was single for years. Happily so.

And then Ryan appeared in my life.

I love you.

do I want to be

into the snow, his paws a blur as he excavates a hole, spraying snow backwards

I catch that

my neck and I jolt

I’m being watched…

Don’t be ridiculous…

Cautiously, I scan around.

is still

Is he watching us?

fucking obvious strikes

Klempner’s

of my vision and

His face impassive, Klempner stands at the back of the

a complete idiot. “Oh, sorry.

“You're not disturbing me. I just

I wave my hands uselessly, not knowing how to

My what?

I don’t know.

a

a bit… out of sorts.” His brows rise, as though waiting for me to keep speaking. For

pursing his lips. “So there

reason I’m not the

is he out here

“Are you alright?”

when I accepted the invitation to Christmas, I didn't really know what to expect. I thought all that…” He waves back in towards the house… “… stuff just came out of movies. Holly and trees and mulled wine… I never believed it was real.” He sips at his drink. “The whole Christmas family thing… is wonderful and they're

the truth, I find it all a bit

I say. “It's important to Charlotte, certainly. I don't think she's had

into his

I'm talking to. That this solitary, silent man,

he seems civilised

he’s someone to talk

not

“What happened?” I ask.

for Christmas. You

But it's not what I meant. I meant, what happened to you? I mean, you’re Lawrence Klempner…” His lips

I realise both the gross ill-manners of my question and the

so I finish… “…like what I

is mild, tinged with amusement. “What you expected? Yes, in fact I do

My cheeks burn…

that you're apt to let your mouth

Oh… Jeez…

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