The Gang picks up my mood, milling around. Archie bounces about, yapping excitedly until Meg snaps at him and he sheers off. Then as the four play at rough-and-tumble under the table, Scruffy joins them and I snap. “Quiet! All of you!”

The dogs subside and assemble under the desk, panting. Ryan stares at me. “Kirstie?”

I shouldn’t have done that.

They’re only enjoying themselves…

Too much wine...

That’s what I tell myself anyway. “I’ll be back in a while. I’m taking the dogs out.”

He starts to rise from the chair. “I’ll keep you company.”

I shake my head. “No, it’s alright.” He stares after me as I exit the study.

Wrapping a thick scarf around my neck and tugging mittens onto hands, I call the dogs and once more they bounce jubilantly after me as I head outdoors.

I gasp at the frigid wall of air as I open the door. The Gang don’t seem to notice, tumbling out into the snow as I carefully pull the door closed behind me.

The icy air and brilliant sunshine are an instant antidote to my ill mood. Around me lies a vast sparkling snowscape, covering grass and shrub and tree, rolling down the mountain to where even the lake lies as a single glistening sheet.

What do I have to be miserable about?

Really?

I pace up and down in the snow, watching the dogs playing, racing around in silly circles, barking joyously.

What’s wrong with me?

Just nerves?

Self-analysis isn’t easy. Sometimes one must face unpleasant truths.

Is it just nerves?

Just anxiety about the biggest purchase I’m ever likely to make?

Or is it more?

Ryan…

I was single for years. Happily so.

And then Ryan appeared in my life.

I love you.

to be bound to

a hole, spraying snow

can’t I catch that mood

my neck and I jolt

I’m being watched…

Don’t be ridiculous…

Cautiously, I scan around.

said Baxter is still

Is he watching us?

fucking obvious

Klempner’s

shifts on the edges of my vision and

Klempner stands at the back of the terrace, leaning against the wall, cradling a steaming mug as he watches the canine

complete idiot. “Oh, sorry. I didn't mean

“You're not disturbing me. I just

me too. It’s all a bit…” I wave my hands uselessly,

My what?

I don’t know.

regards me for a

fine. Just a bit… out of sorts.” His brows rise, as though waiting for me to keep speaking. For some reason, I want to fill

pursing his lips.

that perhaps there’s a reason I’m not the

he out here

“Are you alright?”

boot. “Yes, I'm fine too.” Then he straightens up, his smile turning brighter. “No, I'm good. It's just that when I accepted the invitation to Christmas, I didn't really know what to expect. I thought all that…” He waves back in towards the house… “… stuff just came out of movies. Holly and trees and mulled wine… I never believed it was real.” He sips at

sips again. “To tell the truth, I find it all a bit

important to Charlotte, certainly. I don't think she's

his

this solitary, silent man, is Lawrence Klempner:

seems

he’s someone

who’s not

“What happened?” I ask.

blinks. “James invited me to stay for

not what I meant. I meant, what happened to you? I mean, you’re Lawrence Klempner…” His lips quirk… “… And yet here you are helping to decorate a tree with

as I realise both the gross ill-manners of my question and the

so I finish… “…like what I

you expected? Yes, in fact I do only

My cheeks burn…

you're apt to let

Oh… Jeez…

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