The Gang picks up my mood, milling around. Archie bounces about, yapping excitedly until Meg snaps at him and he sheers off. Then as the four play at rough-and-tumble under the table, Scruffy joins them and I snap. “Quiet! All of you!”

The dogs subside and assemble under the desk, panting. Ryan stares at me. “Kirstie?”

I shouldn’t have done that.

They’re only enjoying themselves…

Too much wine...

That’s what I tell myself anyway. “I’ll be back in a while. I’m taking the dogs out.”

He starts to rise from the chair. “I’ll keep you company.”

I shake my head. “No, it’s alright.” He stares after me as I exit the study.

Wrapping a thick scarf around my neck and tugging mittens onto hands, I call the dogs and once more they bounce jubilantly after me as I head outdoors.

I gasp at the frigid wall of air as I open the door. The Gang don’t seem to notice, tumbling out into the snow as I carefully pull the door closed behind me.

The icy air and brilliant sunshine are an instant antidote to my ill mood. Around me lies a vast sparkling snowscape, covering grass and shrub and tree, rolling down the mountain to where even the lake lies as a single glistening sheet.

What do I have to be miserable about?

Really?

I pace up and down in the snow, watching the dogs playing, racing around in silly circles, barking joyously.

What’s wrong with me?

Just nerves?

Self-analysis isn’t easy. Sometimes one must face unpleasant truths.

Is it just nerves?

Just anxiety about the biggest purchase I’m ever likely to make?

Or is it more?

Ryan…

I was single for years. Happily so.

And then Ryan appeared in my life.

I love you.

I want to be

snow, his paws a blur as he excavates a hole, spraying

can’t I catch that mood

prickles at the back of my neck and I jolt

I’m being watched…

Don’t be ridiculous…

Cautiously, I scan around.

Baxter is still

Is he watching us?

the freakingly fucking obvious strikes

why Klempner’s still

on the edges of my vision and

at the back of the terrace, leaning

a complete idiot. “Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to disturb

not disturbing me. I just wanted

a bit…” I wave my hands uselessly, not knowing

My what?

I don’t know.

regards me for a moment then, “Is

keep speaking. For some reason, I want to fill the silence. “There’s a lot happening all of a

pursing his lips. “So

dawns on me that perhaps there’s a reason I’m not the only one outside in

out

“Are you alright?”

what to expect. I thought all that…” He waves back in towards the house… “… stuff just came out of movies. Holly and trees and mulled wine… I never believed it was real.”

truth, I find it all a

to Charlotte, certainly. I don't think she's had very many good

into his mug. “No, she

I remember who I'm talking to. That this solitary, silent man, is Lawrence Klempner: murderer, terrorist, slaver.

seems civilised

he’s someone

who’s not too

“What happened?” I ask.

stay for Christmas. You have a problem

what I meant. I meant, what happened to you? I mean, you’re Lawrence Klempner…” His lips quirk… “… And yet here you are helping to decorate a tree with Christmas bunnies. You don't seem

ill-manners of

so I finish…

with amusement. “What you expected? Yes, in fact

My cheeks burn…

huffs a laugh. “James did mention that you're apt to let your mouth

Oh… Jeez…

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