The Gang picks up my mood, milling around. Archie bounces about, yapping excitedly until Meg snaps at him and he sheers off. Then as the four play at rough-and-tumble under the table, Scruffy joins them and I snap. “Quiet! All of you!”

The dogs subside and assemble under the desk, panting. Ryan stares at me. “Kirstie?”

I shouldn’t have done that.

They’re only enjoying themselves…

Too much wine...

That’s what I tell myself anyway. “I’ll be back in a while. I’m taking the dogs out.”

He starts to rise from the chair. “I’ll keep you company.”

I shake my head. “No, it’s alright.” He stares after me as I exit the study.

Wrapping a thick scarf around my neck and tugging mittens onto hands, I call the dogs and once more they bounce jubilantly after me as I head outdoors.

I gasp at the frigid wall of air as I open the door. The Gang don’t seem to notice, tumbling out into the snow as I carefully pull the door closed behind me.

The icy air and brilliant sunshine are an instant antidote to my ill mood. Around me lies a vast sparkling snowscape, covering grass and shrub and tree, rolling down the mountain to where even the lake lies as a single glistening sheet.

What do I have to be miserable about?

Really?

I pace up and down in the snow, watching the dogs playing, racing around in silly circles, barking joyously.

What’s wrong with me?

Just nerves?

Self-analysis isn’t easy. Sometimes one must face unpleasant truths.

Is it just nerves?

Just anxiety about the biggest purchase I’m ever likely to make?

Or is it more?

Ryan…

I was single for years. Happily so.

And then Ryan appeared in my life.

I love you.

to be

as he excavates a hole,

I catch that

of my neck and I jolt to a

I’m being watched…

Don’t be ridiculous…

Cautiously, I scan around.

Baxter is

Is he watching us?

freakingly fucking

Klempner’s

of my vision and

Klempner stands at the back of the terrace, leaning

complete idiot. “Oh, sorry.

disturbing

It’s all a bit…” I wave my hands

My what?

I don’t know.

a

His brows rise, as though waiting for me to keep speaking. For some reason, I want to fill the silence. “There’s a lot

pursing his

me that perhaps there’s a reason I’m not the only one

is he out here

“Are you alright?”

I thought all that…” He waves back in towards the house… “… stuff just came out of movies. Holly and trees and mulled wine… I never believed it was real.” He sips at his drink. “The whole Christmas family thing… is wonderful and they're making me very welcome, but

tell the truth,

certainly. I don't think she's had very

his mug. “No,

to. That this solitary, silent man,

seems civilised

he’s someone to

who’s not too

“What happened?” I ask.

blinks. “James invited me to stay for Christmas. You have a

their home. They can invite whoever they want. But it's not what I meant. I meant, what happened to you? I mean, you’re Lawrence Klempner…” His lips

ill-manners of

I finish…

with amusement. “What you expected? Yes, in fact I do only have the one

My cheeks burn…

huffs a laugh. “James did mention that you're apt to let your mouth run away with

Oh… Jeez…

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