The Gang picks up my mood, milling around. Archie bounces about, yapping excitedly until Meg snaps at him and he sheers off. Then as the four play at rough-and-tumble under the table, Scruffy joins them and I snap. “Quiet! All of you!”

The dogs subside and assemble under the desk, panting. Ryan stares at me. “Kirstie?”

I shouldn’t have done that.

They’re only enjoying themselves…

Too much wine...

That’s what I tell myself anyway. “I’ll be back in a while. I’m taking the dogs out.”

He starts to rise from the chair. “I’ll keep you company.”

I shake my head. “No, it’s alright.” He stares after me as I exit the study.

Wrapping a thick scarf around my neck and tugging mittens onto hands, I call the dogs and once more they bounce jubilantly after me as I head outdoors.

I gasp at the frigid wall of air as I open the door. The Gang don’t seem to notice, tumbling out into the snow as I carefully pull the door closed behind me.

The icy air and brilliant sunshine are an instant antidote to my ill mood. Around me lies a vast sparkling snowscape, covering grass and shrub and tree, rolling down the mountain to where even the lake lies as a single glistening sheet.

What do I have to be miserable about?

Really?

I pace up and down in the snow, watching the dogs playing, racing around in silly circles, barking joyously.

What’s wrong with me?

Just nerves?

Self-analysis isn’t easy. Sometimes one must face unpleasant truths.

Is it just nerves?

Just anxiety about the biggest purchase I’m ever likely to make?

Or is it more?

Ryan…

I was single for years. Happily so.

And then Ryan appeared in my life.

I love you.

want to be bound to

paws a blur as he excavates a hole, spraying snow backwards and covering Meg and Archie. They’re

can’t I catch that mood from

at the back of my

I’m being watched…

Don’t be ridiculous…

Cautiously, I scan around.

is still out

Is he watching us?

freakingly fucking obvious

why Klempner’s still

the edges of my vision

His face impassive, Klempner stands at the back of

complete idiot. “Oh, sorry. I didn't mean

not disturbing me. I just wanted some

a bit…” I wave

My what?

I don’t know.

a moment then, “Is something

Just a bit… out of sorts.” His brows rise, as though waiting for me to keep

nods slowly, pursing his lips. “So there

dawns on me that perhaps there’s a reason I’m not the only one outside in the

is he out here by

“Are you alright?”

to expect. I thought all that…” He waves back in towards the house… “… stuff just came out of movies. Holly and trees and mulled wine… I never believed it was real.” He sips at

sips again. “To tell the truth, I find it all a bit

important,” I say. “It's important to Charlotte, certainly. I don't think she's had

down into his mug. “No, she

remember who I'm talking to. That this solitary, silent man, is Lawrence

he seems

someone to

who’s not too

“What happened?” I ask.

stay for Christmas. You have a problem

meant. I meant, what happened to you? I mean, you’re Lawrence Klempner…” His

both the gross ill-manners of

I finish… “…like

amusement. “What you expected?

My cheeks burn…

laugh. “James did mention that you're apt to let your mouth run away with

Oh… Jeez…

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