The Gang picks up my mood, milling around. Archie bounces about, yapping excitedly until Meg snaps at him and he sheers off. Then as the four play at rough-and-tumble under the table, Scruffy joins them and I snap. “Quiet! All of you!”

The dogs subside and assemble under the desk, panting. Ryan stares at me. “Kirstie?”

I shouldn’t have done that.

They’re only enjoying themselves…

Too much wine...

That’s what I tell myself anyway. “I’ll be back in a while. I’m taking the dogs out.”

He starts to rise from the chair. “I’ll keep you company.”

I shake my head. “No, it’s alright.” He stares after me as I exit the study.

Wrapping a thick scarf around my neck and tugging mittens onto hands, I call the dogs and once more they bounce jubilantly after me as I head outdoors.

I gasp at the frigid wall of air as I open the door. The Gang don’t seem to notice, tumbling out into the snow as I carefully pull the door closed behind me.

The icy air and brilliant sunshine are an instant antidote to my ill mood. Around me lies a vast sparkling snowscape, covering grass and shrub and tree, rolling down the mountain to where even the lake lies as a single glistening sheet.

What do I have to be miserable about?

Really?

I pace up and down in the snow, watching the dogs playing, racing around in silly circles, barking joyously.

What’s wrong with me?

Just nerves?

Self-analysis isn’t easy. Sometimes one must face unpleasant truths.

Is it just nerves?

Just anxiety about the biggest purchase I’m ever likely to make?

Or is it more?

Ryan…

I was single for years. Happily so.

And then Ryan appeared in my life.

I love you.

do I want to be bound to

digs into the snow, his paws a blur as he excavates a hole, spraying snow backwards

I catch that mood

of my neck and I jolt

I’m being watched…

Don’t be ridiculous…

Cautiously, I scan around.

said Baxter is still out

Is he watching us?

freakingly fucking

Klempner’s still

of my vision

is Charlotte’s father. His face impassive, Klempner stands at the back of the terrace, leaning against the

a complete idiot. “Oh, sorry. I

“You're not disturbing me. I just wanted

a bit…” I wave my hands uselessly, not knowing how to express

My what?

I don’t know.

me for a moment then, “Is

though waiting for me to keep speaking. For some reason, I want to fill the silence. “There’s a lot happening

nods slowly, pursing his

a reason I’m not the only one outside in

he out here by

“Are you alright?”

shrugs, his smile depreciating, scuffing into the snow with the end of a boot. “Yes, I'm fine too.” Then he straightens up, his smile turning brighter. “No, I'm good. It's just that when I accepted the invitation to Christmas, I didn't really know what to expect. I thought all that…” He waves back in towards the house… “… stuff just came out of movies. Holly and trees and mulled wine… I never believed it was real.” He sips at his drink. “The whole

sips again. “To tell the truth,

important,” I say. “It's important to Charlotte, certainly. I don't think

down into his mug. “No,

solitary, silent man, is Lawrence Klempner: murderer, terrorist,

seems

someone to talk

who’s not

“What happened?” I ask.

for Christmas. You have

what I meant. I meant, what happened to you? I mean, you’re Lawrence

ill-manners of my question

so I finish… “…like what I

amusement. “What you expected? Yes, in fact I do only have the one

My cheeks burn…

that you're apt to let your mouth

Oh… Jeez…

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