“Crackers!” Michael holds up his; red and green crepe paper wrapped with silver foil. He leans across the table, arm outstretched, flashing eyebrows. “Pull a cracker with me, Mitch.”

James picks up his from the side of his plate, sounding piqued. “They're nothing like the one we had last year, I'm afraid.”

Michael shrugs, unperturbed. “So there was no time to arrange your fancy hand-made affairs. They're just the first packet I could grab off the supermarket shelves. It's anyone's guess what's inside. It doesn’t matter. It’s Christmas. That’s what it’s about.”

“Oh, stop fussing, James.” Mitch makes a grab for the cracker. “So long as they have a paper hat inside and a bad joke, they'll be fine.” She tugs, and with a Snap! the cracker splits and multi-coloured shrapnel confetti’s out.

With a grin, she unrolls a vivid green elf-hat, slipping it atop her immaculate red up-do. Craning up to the mirror above the hearth, she checks her reflection.

Mmmming, she takes off the hat, folds down the pointy end to a jaunty angle, then puts it back on.

Larry’s voice is dry. “Very fetching, Mitch.”

Her eyes sparkle. “Yes, I thought so.” She unrolls a curl of paper. “What is the best kind of Christmas shopping?”

“Elf service!”

Then she examines the small plastic packet which popped out with it, opens it and tips the contents onto the table-top; a jewellery set; bead bracelet in gaudy colours, necklace and a matching ring in cheap gilt.

Larry inclines his head. “That would probably turn your skin green if you wore it.”

She touches the silver and emerald necklace she already wears. “I think I prefer this.” Then she nudges him, eyeing him towards Charlotte. Larry’s face goes slack, forehead creasing.

nods down to the cracker by his plate, then back to Charlotte, and his

forward, offering

it, then takes the

a Christmas cracker. She tugs and he relaxes, the cracker following her hand. Then Larry seems

his voice. “You’re supposed to

in two with a shower of curly pink paper fizz. Charlotte sets a two-inch plastic snowman to one side. “Perhaps for the cake,”

now,” says Beth, “… you're supposed

the slip of paper. As he opens his mouth to speak, Charlotte’s lips twitch. “But you have to wear the hat.” His face hardens

mischief but then soften. “Last year was my first Real Christmas. This is yours.” Then the devil is back in her eye. “So, you have to wear the

ceiling. James is sucking in

Revenge takes many forms…

She nods, her face smooth and innocent.

sliver of paper, holding it at arm’s length and against the light, he reads. “What do you get if…” He winces… “…you cross Santa with a

What do you get if you cross Santa

then he huffs a laugh, screws up the paper and tosses it over his shoulder. James grins. So does

cracker to James. “We need to pull the rest of the crackers. You need a hat too.” His grin dissolves. So does Richard’s as Beth turns, bearing on him, with a 50mm calibre

on Ryan. “You too. We can’t have the house guests

*****

He turns, aiming a finger back out to the hall. “Out,” he says, then clicks

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