“Crackers!” Michael holds up his; red and green crepe paper wrapped with silver foil. He leans across the table, arm outstretched, flashing eyebrows. “Pull a cracker with me, Mitch.”

James picks up his from the side of his plate, sounding piqued. “They're nothing like the one we had last year, I'm afraid.”

Michael shrugs, unperturbed. “So there was no time to arrange your fancy hand-made affairs. They're just the first packet I could grab off the supermarket shelves. It's anyone's guess what's inside. It doesn’t matter. It’s Christmas. That’s what it’s about.”

“Oh, stop fussing, James.” Mitch makes a grab for the cracker. “So long as they have a paper hat inside and a bad joke, they'll be fine.” She tugs, and with a Snap! the cracker splits and multi-coloured shrapnel confetti’s out.

With a grin, she unrolls a vivid green elf-hat, slipping it atop her immaculate red up-do. Craning up to the mirror above the hearth, she checks her reflection.

Mmmming, she takes off the hat, folds down the pointy end to a jaunty angle, then puts it back on.

Larry’s voice is dry. “Very fetching, Mitch.”

Her eyes sparkle. “Yes, I thought so.” She unrolls a curl of paper. “What is the best kind of Christmas shopping?”

“Elf service!”

Then she examines the small plastic packet which popped out with it, opens it and tips the contents onto the table-top; a jewellery set; bead bracelet in gaudy colours, necklace and a matching ring in cheap gilt.

Larry inclines his head. “That would probably turn your skin green if you wore it.”

She touches the silver and emerald necklace she already wears. “I think I prefer this.” Then she nudges him, eyeing him towards Charlotte. Larry’s face goes slack, forehead creasing.

by his plate,

Larry leans forward, offering the

it, then takes

of a Christmas cracker. She tugs and he relaxes, the cracker following her hand. Then Larry seems to realise he’s supposed to pull too. And this time the cracker

speaks, a touch of asperity in his voice.

assemble the required hand-eye coordination and teamwork to pull the wretched thing and the cracker flies in two with a shower of curly pink paper fizz. Charlotte sets a

now,” says Beth, “… you're supposed to

mouth to speak, Charlotte’s lips

Real Christmas. This is

ceiling. James is sucking in a smile. Richard props

Revenge takes many forms…

face smooth and

hat, placing it carefully on his head. Then, uncurling a sliver of paper, holding it at arm’s length and against the light, he reads.

What do you get if you

he huffs a laugh, screws up the paper and

the rest of the crackers. You need a hat too.” His

but then swings on Ryan. “You too. We can’t have the house guests

*****

in his wake. He turns, aiming a finger back out to the hall. “Out,” he says, then clicks the

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