Im -perfect

"What's was that all about ?"asked Selina who fell a step behind me , her tone inquisitive .

"Maybe he is so upset that its messing with his brains "I could only offer her this , Because I knew that there was a trap in laid there , Jacob Knight won't ask me on a date for no reason because I wasn't the girl who will get the guy.

The guy I deserved was most probably someone who will work a 24 *7 job in some stupid boring company not the one who rattles my entire body senses with his gorgeous smile .

And Jacob Knight most certainly falls into the latter category , with his razor sharp jawline sharp enough to cut glass and stormy gray eyes in which a person can practically lose himself.

Selina looked at me ,as if she knew what was going on my mind but thankfully she doesn't say anything to me , good , I don't need her pity .

But down deep down , I couldn't help be disappointed at the giddiness that was enveloping my heart .

Once I reach my home , I drag myself upstairs to my room , fighting my inner demons has sapped my energy .

I felt too tried to even think , part I wished to stop taking the high road and let myself indulge to whatever Jacob has to offer , part I knew that it was wrong , He has made my life in highschool hell from the past two years and I shouldn't ever think about being in such close proximity with him .

"He was joking ; He didn't mean it and you will be a nice little joke if you fall for his tricks "I repeated this mantra over and over again , to stop the monster roaring within .

Once I used to look down on those girls who's eyes will shine with little hearts in them , I rolled my eyes when they claimed they lost their control whenever a cute guy was around and therefore , it was sensible enough for them to make dumb decision .

Turns out I was just like them .

I can still feel it .

His warmth 

His breath 

His nearness 

God.Get a grip.

face , For two years , Two years I have been fighting my inner self, repeating it over and over again ; that I didn't like Jacob , nor did I enjoyed the forceful he planted on my

But 

that I could still hear my heart thumping and I cannot lock my new found awareness about my feelings for Jacob into the darkness of my head as if they don't exist

I fucking

, I'm screwed

just why , why it has to be him ? Just why did my first crush has

ate three meals

who counts

wanted a

He was unpredictable 

had nothing to

He had everything .

someone has stripped me naked , leaving my insecurities to unravel themselves .Its a struggle to breath, how am

let my backpack drop on the floor with a' bam’, pressing the play button on my phone ; I fill the void in my

I snuggle into my bed covers , I didn't

to do ? Go along with whatever he might be planning for the sake of a night pleasure ? Because that's all he will ever want for me, Guys like him goes for girl like Anna ; with barely any fat coveringtheir body and I wasn't desperate enough to let him ruin

That's right.

getting inside a teeny tiny part of my heart but it was all upto me , How take care of these unwanted feelings ,Jacob might rule me the entire student body but he won't be ruling me much less my heart

let my heart cry all it wants for a love it can never have and by tomorrow I will hold

eyes and let my tears loose for the love that didn't even get a