Im -perfect

"What's was that all about ?"asked Selina who fell a step behind me , her tone inquisitive .

"Maybe he is so upset that its messing with his brains "I could only offer her this , Because I knew that there was a trap in laid there , Jacob Knight won't ask me on a date for no reason because I wasn't the girl who will get the guy.

The guy I deserved was most probably someone who will work a 24 *7 job in some stupid boring company not the one who rattles my entire body senses with his gorgeous smile .

And Jacob Knight most certainly falls into the latter category , with his razor sharp jawline sharp enough to cut glass and stormy gray eyes in which a person can practically lose himself.

Selina looked at me ,as if she knew what was going on my mind but thankfully she doesn't say anything to me , good , I don't need her pity .

But down deep down , I couldn't help be disappointed at the giddiness that was enveloping my heart .

Once I reach my home , I drag myself upstairs to my room , fighting my inner demons has sapped my energy .

I felt too tried to even think , part I wished to stop taking the high road and let myself indulge to whatever Jacob has to offer , part I knew that it was wrong , He has made my life in highschool hell from the past two years and I shouldn't ever think about being in such close proximity with him .

"He was joking ; He didn't mean it and you will be a nice little joke if you fall for his tricks "I repeated this mantra over and over again , to stop the monster roaring within .

Once I used to look down on those girls who's eyes will shine with little hearts in them , I rolled my eyes when they claimed they lost their control whenever a cute guy was around and therefore , it was sensible enough for them to make dumb decision .

Turns out I was just like them .

I can still feel it .

His warmth 

His breath 

His nearness 

God.Get a grip.

inner self, repeating it over and over again ; that I didn't like Jacob , nor did I enjoyed the forceful he planted on my lips

But 

thumping and I cannot lock my new found awareness about my feelings for Jacob into the darkness of

him , I fucking Liked him

I'm screwed

buried my face in my hands, I couldn't understand why , just why , why it has to be him ? Just why did my first crush has to be on that

meals a

was someone who counts his

a stable

He was unpredictable 

had nothing to offer

He had everything .

felt raw undiluted fear , it was as if someone has stripped me naked , leaving my insecurities to unravel themselves .Its a struggle to breath, how am I supposed

drop on the floor with a' bam’, pressing the play button on my phone ; I

my bed covers , I didn't dare

might be planning for the sake of a night pleasure ? Because that's all he will ever want for me, Guys like him goes for girl like Anna ; with barely any fat coveringtheir body and I wasn't desperate enough

That's right.

but it was all upto me , How take care of these unwanted feelings

all it wants for a love it can never have and by tomorrow I will hold head high again , burying my feelings deep where they

close my eyes and let my tears loose for the love that didn't even get