In My Desperate Time

For the first time, I take Frances Louis' hand and walk out of NewFun with him. His car is parked on the right side of the door. It is the car that he drove when I first met him. How could I be so blind that don’t see it when I came in?

Being blew by the wind outdoor makes me sober. Suddenly I regret choosing to leave with Frances Louis, am I courting death?

Frances Louis pulls me into the car, but doesn’t start it. Some of those people, standing at the door of NewFun, are still looking at us, unwilling to give up.

“Don’t try to do anything to me. I won't allow you to do it.” I define my position seriously.

Probably Frances Louis thinks I look funny by talking like this. He fumbles out a cigarette and light it. I watch his movements with a kind of ecstasy.

I choke on his words and heard him continuing saying, “I, Frances Louis, will never take a girl’s advantage.”

“Don’t feel embarrassed to say it? Last time, in the hotel…”

I retort subconsciously, but feel shame

understands what I am trying to say immediately, but he just shakes

Didn’t touch me? How could it

sore and my legs are so

through what I am thinking. He looks significantly at his right hand and

Hand?

Did he use his hand that night, just like that

or sad. That night, I was seductive under the influence of the medicine, even out of control, and Frances Louis held it

get men interested? Or does he, like Andrew

I am suddenly frightened by my thoughts. I look at Frances Louis and couldn't speak for a long time.

have already said, if you want to know if I am impotent or not, you can try it by yourself. It’s not late to change your mind now.” He turns to me and looks at me

of his words is obvious that he wants