In My Desperate Time

Noah murmurs after looking at me in disbelief for a long time, "Jane, what are you talking about?"

He looks devastated.

I can’t stand to say anything hurtful. And I almost fail to say the next words.

But I know that this may be my last chance to say it.

"I have to tell you very clearly that things between us doesn’t work. There are too many people stopping us from being together. Your parents, Frances, and the past that I don’t want to mention anymore. I don’t deserve you. I will hurt you. You are too good be ruined by me. The most important thing is, I don’t love you, Noah.”

I feel a touch of sadness in my heart when I say it out loud.

I used to believe that I would never forget my first love. I would keep him in mind for the rest of my life. But he is gradually being washed away. I don't know if it is because of the cruelty of time, or another person is taking over his place in my heart.

Noah takes two steps back, squeezing words from his throat with difficulty.

"You don’t love me anymore? Are you in love with him?"

He is not stupid. He is able to see through some things, but he is reluctant to face it. I know that he must have seen some clues judging from his escape in the past few days.

consent to him by

cannot deny the love for Frances. I fall in love with him and love him

almost like he is choking. "Since this is your choice, I don't want to force you. But I believe you also know that I really love you, Jane. I hope you can live a happy life. A man like Frances is not suitable for you at all. One day, he will leave you and turn to another woman. But I promise, you

Just then tears fall.

handsome man in front of

be guilt. It may be I am moved by him. Or it may

I can’t stop crying.

me gently. He is probably afraid of my rejection, so his hug is very tender.

you, Noah." I

I want to accompany you again one

refuse

takes me to many places in Paris. He would take pictures at every stop.

feel blue all day long. I am exhausted physically and mentally because I force myself to be

the hotel,

a room for

me, but

I sleep with you tonight, Jane? I just want to hug you all night.