Life After the Storm

As we head up to his house, it's just like before. Nothing has changed. All the people gawking at me and whispering. What they all must think, but I don't care. The compassion that I've had most of my life is gone. I figure it's better to feel nothing than to feel anything.

In the distance I see a little boy running to me, as my eyes clear I see it's Jayden. He has done nothing wrong, but I'm afraid to show weakness. Knowing Jayden is probably the biggest weakness I have even though everything that has happened is not his fault he is innocent, So why would I not acknowledge him? He is the little shine of light that is in my darkness. I squat down as he runs into my arms, I hug him as tight as I can and pick him up. “Lilly, I have missed you so much, I'm so happy that you are okay.”

Then the words come out of my month without me realizing, “Oh Jayden, I have missed you so much too.”

As I'm gripping on to him tighter, I watch as a woman walks towards us. “Now Jayden, you know that you can't run off like that.”

As she goes to take him out of my arms, “what do you think you're doing, get your fucking hands off of him.”

“Excuse me,” she says to me as she looks at Ivan with an irritated look. That I just want to smack off of her fucking face. I just pretend that she and Ivan aren't there and give all my attention to Jayden.

He then whispers in my ear, “Lilly, she's not very nice. She makes me do things that I don't want to do, but daddy says I have to listen to her.”

As anger overcomes me, I then hear Jaydens sweet little voice which helps me to calm myself. “Lilly, your eyes have changed color, they are so beautiful.”

I feel so much power running through my veins, I do not know what to do with all of it. I try to calm myself as I look at Jayden. It helps me I can feel my body relax as I look at him. He smiles, “Yes my eyes change color isn't that cool.”

He giggles at me as I begin to tickle his belly “Lilly, stop please Lilly,” As I continue to tickle him.

stare to warn him not to

gives an irritated look and says, “Lilly, it's time

“Jayden, I have to go for now, but we will get

to me tighter, “Lilly, you promise you will

I promise cross my heart.” I then

“I love you, Lilly.”

eyes. “I love

I walk away, I can see Ivan's expression on his face. He is angry. Not understanding how he could be so angry with a child because of him loving me. Or maybe it's actually me loving him that angers him the most. Jayden has touched me somewhere in my heart that I feel for him. I know

and goes to shove me along, I take my arm out of his grip. “I

upset him. I'm not sure what is going to happen or what he is going to make me do. I don't want him to touch me and I don't want to touch him.  I don't want to play these games, but I'm not sure if there is another way. I was all for hurting him, but now I'm not Sure if I have it in

angry all I crave is revenge. But when I'm not, all I want is to help and make people feel better. Now it's like I want to heal Ivan from all his pain that he has suffered. But what about the pain that he has made me suffer? I cringe, looking at him with

was talking. I snap out of it once I feel another slap across my face. I look at him with disappointment, not understanding why he thinks

you want me to say Ivan you have taken everything from

pregnant, you have been sleeping with other wolves and I needed to

you did was evil, you're a heartless

opened your legs to anybody that would fuck you, so