Life After the Storm

As we head up to his house, it's just like before. Nothing has changed. All the people gawking at me and whispering. What they all must think, but I don't care. The compassion that I've had most of my life is gone. I figure it's better to feel nothing than to feel anything.

In the distance I see a little boy running to me, as my eyes clear I see it's Jayden. He has done nothing wrong, but I'm afraid to show weakness. Knowing Jayden is probably the biggest weakness I have even though everything that has happened is not his fault he is innocent, So why would I not acknowledge him? He is the little shine of light that is in my darkness. I squat down as he runs into my arms, I hug him as tight as I can and pick him up. “Lilly, I have missed you so much, I'm so happy that you are okay.”

Then the words come out of my month without me realizing, “Oh Jayden, I have missed you so much too.”

As I'm gripping on to him tighter, I watch as a woman walks towards us. “Now Jayden, you know that you can't run off like that.”

As she goes to take him out of my arms, “what do you think you're doing, get your fucking hands off of him.”

“Excuse me,” she says to me as she looks at Ivan with an irritated look. That I just want to smack off of her fucking face. I just pretend that she and Ivan aren't there and give all my attention to Jayden.

He then whispers in my ear, “Lilly, she's not very nice. She makes me do things that I don't want to do, but daddy says I have to listen to her.”

As anger overcomes me, I then hear Jaydens sweet little voice which helps me to calm myself. “Lilly, your eyes have changed color, they are so beautiful.”

I feel so much power running through my veins, I do not know what to do with all of it. I try to calm myself as I look at Jayden. It helps me I can feel my body relax as I look at him. He smiles, “Yes my eyes change color isn't that cool.”

He giggles at me as I begin to tickle his belly “Lilly, stop please Lilly,” As I continue to tickle him.

towards us to try to tare us apart. I give him a threatening stare to warn him not to come any farther toward us. I watch as

then gives an irritated look and says, “Lilly, it's

want to put Jayden down. I have missed him so much. “Jayden, I have to go for now, but we will get together and play very soon I

grabs and holds on to me tighter, “Lilly, you promise you

promise cross my heart.” I

“I love you, Lilly.”

eyes. “I love

be so angry with a child because of him loving me. Or maybe it's actually me loving him that angers him the most. Jayden has touched me somewhere in my heart that I feel for him. I know that he will be my weakness, but I always want to protect him. I just hope when it comes time to leave that I'm going to be

arm and goes to shove me along, I take my arm out of his

happen or what he is going to make me do. I don't want him to touch me and I don't want to touch him.  I don't want to play these games, but I'm not sure if there is another way. I was all for hurting him, but now I'm not Sure if I have it

me, when I'm angry all I crave is revenge. But when I'm not, all I want is to help and make people feel better. Now it's like I want to heal Ivan from all his pain that he has suffered. But what about the pain that he has made me suffer? I cringe, looking at him with any kind of emotion, so why do I suddenly want

Ivan was speaking to me. I was lost in my thoughts and I did not realize he was talking. I snap out of it once I feel another slap across my face. I look at him with disappointment, not understanding why he thinks he needs to be so rough. “Really Lilly, you are ignoring me. You

to say Ivan you have taken everything from me. What Could I

wolves and I needed to mark you, so they knew you belonged

you did was evil, you're a heartless

of opened your legs to anybody that would fuck